The Mumsnet ideal

[Home77]

You have to: Have big house in the country
Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this.
Drive everywhere
Get a cleaner

If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home'
If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy
Ditto for driving.

[TokyoSushi]

YABU

[DoneLikeAKipper]

If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy

Goodness forbid you don’t work at all and admit it on here. Either you’re a benefits scrounger, or a silly woman living off her husband and not having her ‘ducks in order’ for when he inevitably cheats on you....

[Home77]

Oh yes I forgot you can't have a council 'free' house or be on benefits. Not fair at all.

[Superfragile]

And you can't drink more than one measured glass and only on special occasions.

[teyem]

You must be incredibly conformist and follow all rules to the letter, never stopping to think about the value and viability of the rules.

[hazeyjane]

I think you must be looking at a different site to me.

[FionnaMAC]

You need to also be fully aware that your husband is just waiting for something younger/more obliging to come along and then you'll be out on your arse.

[HolyForkingShirt]

You have to wash your towels, jeans, bedsheets, pyjamas and curtains every single day otherwise you are disgusting and should be reported to SS.

[Thatsnotmyotter]

You MUST be married and have a secret savings account because your husband WILL cheat on you

You absolutely must assume that all transwomen are rapists and pedophiles and make a huge fuss about their presence in any public space.

[HolyForkingShirt]

And if you don't drive you are lazy and not independent, but if you don't know which lane to be in at a multi-lane roundabout then you are a terror on the roads and shouldn't be driving.

[Nesssie]

You must never lose your temper. If you do, then you must go for counselling.

[raffle]

You must never, under any circumstances go to a wedding. It’s an invite, not a summons.

[MarieIVanArkleStinks]

Hello journalist! [Waves]

[cloudymelonade]

Wash your towels and bedsheets on the hour, every hour and burn every toilet brush you see.

[HolyForkingShirt]

Also your kids must be extremely tall and skinny, no short or fat kids allowed.

[wildbhoysmama]

You must judge all teachers for everything they do as precious DC are always in the right despite you not knowing the full details.

[cloudymelonade]

If your husband is a complete arsehole, you must assume he is depressed and help him.
If he makes one slightly snide comment, you must LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY

[originallyfromLA]

The solution to all of your child entertainment issues is to do 'crafts, etc.'

[Home77]

haha, no journalist here, just a random mum who sometimes feels a bit small on here as don't make choices in the Mumsnet ideal (not working, two boys in a city centre flat- etc)

Ah yes if you are angry you could be abusive even if you are not saying you are angry, just being it, is enough.

[Thatsnotmyotter]

Oh and also you must have a purebred dog who is NEVER off lead and should NEVER look at/stand near/sniff members of the public. If they do, they are an uncontrolled menace!

[loobylou10]

One thimble full of sherry on Christmas Day and as soon as your child turns 18, they are an adult and you must never do anything for them ever again

[BlueMerchant]

You must never shop anywhere other than Boden, White Stuff and occasionally Uniqlo.
You must think Hush Hareems are the best thing ever. Never buy them elsewhere.

[wildbhoysmama]

You must have a 'cushion ' of 6 month's salary or you are irresponsible, short-sighted and stupid.

[HolyForkingShirt]

If you're fat it must be because of MH issues or a hidden disability.

[Home77]

If children are rude, it is likely they have an undiagnosed disorder. It's not likely they are just well, rude and undisciplined.

You need to have a cleaning routine.