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AIBU?

To ask why people sit in reserved seats?

152 replies

Leftoverdessert · 03/04/2019 09:37

I absolutely hate train travel for this reason. I get that if the seat is reserved from a particular station and you haven't reached it yet and are ready to get up, fair enough, but the route I go on fairly regularly it happens to me almost every time - I book a seat and someone's sitting in it. I triple check always that I have the right seat but it's always so awkward to ask them to move as often they seem to get huffy or try to dispute it! They often also seem to scatter their things everywhere which makes me think they're just hoping the person won't turn up or will feel bad when they see they're looking so settled in.

This morning, I honestly couldn't be bothered for the scene as the woman in my booked seat had stuff everywhere and seemed to be asleep to boot, so now I'm just stood up feeling all annoyed. I hate confrontation and just can't be bothered for it first thing in the morning.

If I see a seat is reserved, I don't sit on it - why oh why do people do this??

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BlueSkiesLies · 03/04/2019 09:38

Because lots of the time the reserved seat person never actually gets on the train, so it is better to take chance and sit there than stand the whole way. However they should be ready to leap up and give you your seat in that case though.

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Ffsnosexallowed · 03/04/2019 09:39

Because quite often the person who reserves the seat doesn't use it. If there were no other seats of suit in a reserved seat, but would always move if asked.

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MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 03/04/2019 09:41

because eejits reserve seats and then do not find them... or sit somewhere else.

when I am Queen of the World reserving seats on a train and not sitting in them will be a capital offence.

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Fortheloveofscience · 03/04/2019 09:42

Because often people don’t sit in the seats they’ve reserved, they’ll get on the train and if they pass an available unreserved seat sit in that (understandably) rather than walk down the train to find the one the train company has allocated to them. Particularly since people with reserved seats are often making one-off journeys, so will have got to the train with more time to spare than someone on their daily commute and therefore are more likely to have boarded before it gets too busy.

You’d be silly to sit in a seat reserved for someone else if there are unreserved seats available, but if it’s a couple of minutes before departure and the train’s busy I’ll take my chance.

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Leftoverdessert · 03/04/2019 09:44

The way I see it, if I haven't reserved a seat, I either sit in a free seat or stand. As I said I don't mind if they're ready to get up at the station it's reserved for, but many times I've had people get really huffy at being asked to move or conveniently 'fall asleep' so it's awkward to get them up. It's like they're annoyed at getting caught out or something. If it were that important to sit, wouldn't they have reserved a seat?

Sometimes I just don't have the energy for a confrontation - I just want to get into my seat and relax.

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pasturesgreen · 03/04/2019 09:45

OP, you need to work on your assertiveness. So you felt unable to challenge the woman who was sitting in your reserved seat. I get it, but your next port of call should have been to go in search of the conductor and let them deal with it. No point standing there like a lemon feeling resentful.

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bingoitsadingo · 03/04/2019 09:46

Because loads of the time the person who reserved it doesn't turn up to sit in it. I do this quite often for a bunch of reasons, sometimes I've booked an advance ticket, but so has a friend, so we move and sit together, sometimes I've booked an open return and booked seats on a particular train but end up getting a later/earlier one. Sometimes I see an unreserved seat that's better than my reserved one so I sit there instead. And sometimes people just sit in the wrong seat, or the right seat on the wrong train, by accident..

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CosyAsAToasty · 03/04/2019 09:46

It's just like eating a bag of Revels - it's the uncertainty. Am I getting a disgusting Orange Chocolate one, or the nice Malteser one. Same as getting on a train. Problem solved.

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Smelborp · 03/04/2019 09:46

My work guess when I went to travel (usually wrongly) and book me a seat. Since my ticket is an open one, I’m often on a different train.

Many of the reserved seats on trains from London aren’t used, it tends to be about 50/50 in my experience. I’ll often sit in them if there’s no where else but I’m poised to move before the train leaves.

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HarrysOwl · 03/04/2019 09:47

hoping the person won't turn up or will feel bad when they see they're looking so settled in

Yup that's what they're doing! I was on a train last week and a group of friends sat down in reserved seats and they said "fuck it, if we get asked to move we'll refuse, get comfy!"

Some people are just dickheads.

I wouldn't have any problem ejecting someone from my reserved seat, btw. Asleep or not!

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StarlingsEverywhere · 03/04/2019 09:47

Because they're selfish entitled fuckwits who rely on people feeling too awkward to ask them to move.

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Sargass0 · 03/04/2019 09:47

Because they are selfish and think that the "rules" don't apply to them and they rely on the more thoughtful people not wanting to cause an issue.
Their behaviour is rarely challenged so it becomes perpetual.

I never used to challenge this sort of thing either - but now I'm older I do 'cos I'm sick of it now (not just public transport twats- anyone who thinks that their convenience trumps other peoples inconvenience!

I call myself a grumpy old woman but that's not entirely true really...I just can't tolerate selfish eejits these days (yes I'm talking about you- ignorant parents who park in front of the pedestrian entrance at school because you can't be bothered to drive around the corner to the main entrance...)
I'm with you OP!

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starfishmummy · 03/04/2019 09:49

I wouldn't stand if I had a reserved seat!!

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Butchyrestingface · 03/04/2019 09:53

You seem very passive and making a mountain out of a molehill. Just tell the person in your seat that you’ve reserved that seat and show them your ticket if necessary. No need for any ‘confrontation’ or martyrish standing around letting someone take up your seat. Confused

I don’t always sit in the seat that I reserve. I need to sit facing the direction of travel and specify that when booking. Often that isn’t what I get so I don’t sit there. Why shouldn’t someone else sit there on the proviso they get up and move if and wheb the reservee shows up? It makes sense to do so, particularly on congested trains.

The issue here is yours.

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WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 03/04/2019 09:54

this is really you're problem to sort - I don't mind people sitting in my reserved seat because so often you'd end up with empty seats and people standing, but I don't have any issue with asking them to move and their huffiness is not my problem.

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RavenLG · 03/04/2019 09:56

I can only think selfish entitled fuckers too. I traveled end of last year. On way there someone was in my seat (window) but the rail staff had just escorted a blind lady to the aisle seat so I didn’t want to make her move and stood. I was recovering from a broken ankle so terrified but hey ho the train was full.

Way back the reservations weren’t working but the tannoy said “if you have a reservation please sit in your seat”. So I asked the woman in my seat to move. Christ it was like I’d shot her kid or something. She said “actually the reservations aren’t working and someone is in mine” I said “the reservations actually say this seat MAY be reserved it is reserved by me. It’s not my problem someone is in your seat, listen to the tannoy and tell them to move”. I have awful anxiety and hate confrontation but I genuinely couldn’t have stood that journey.

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BlackSatinDancer · 03/04/2019 09:57

OP, you are perpetuating the problem by not asking someone to move from the seat you reserved. That person possibly sits in reserved seats as they are never challenged about it. Blue skies states that a lot of the time the person who reserves the seats desn't turn up and the person who sits unchallenged in your seat could think you didn't turn up too.

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WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 03/04/2019 10:00

Raven but again, your anxiety is not someone else's problem - just tell the person they're in your seat and need to move.

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stucknoue · 03/04/2019 10:01

On our route nearly every seat is reserved but the train is half empty. Commuters (season tickets) can reserve seats for free so they book multiple trains

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Sparklesocks · 03/04/2019 10:01

I think people try their luck, hoping the person won’t turn up or had sat elsewhere. Or they just stay in them until they’re asked to move as they’d rather half a seat for at least part of the journey.

But I have no qualms about telling people I’ve booked that seat, normally they just go ‘oh sorry’ and wander off.

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HoustonBess · 03/04/2019 10:01

You seriously stand rather than sit in an empty reserved seat? That's crazy.

If someone sits in your reserved seat, you politely ask them to move. Not very complicated really.

One of the many stupid things about our train system is that you reserve seats free with an open return, so you might as well but are not restricted to that train. If you had to pay a few quid to reserve, as is common in other countries, it would probably only be used by people definitely taking that train.

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Leftoverdessert · 03/04/2019 10:02

It's the huffiness and seemingly deliberate 'I'm comfortable and don't ask me to move' strategy that I dislike. Why is the onus on me to be ultra thick-skinned and assertive? Of course I'm going to feel awkward waking someone up and asking them to move all their stuff! I do it mostly because I have to, but I just couldn't deal with the attitude this morning. If you sit in a reserved seat (which I disagree with anyway, but I'll let it go), shouldn't the onus be on you to be ready to get up and not be huffy and rude about it?

I don't sit in a reserved seat because I think it's rude - I book a seat if it's important for me to sit.

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underneaththeash · 03/04/2019 10:04

I gernerally wouldn't sit in a reserved seat unless we'd gone past the station it was reserved from. However, I tend to vomit if sitting rear facing on a train and sometimes you can't choose the direction of travel. So I'm forced not to use by allocated seat if it's facing the wrong way.

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Stayawayfromitsmouth · 03/04/2019 10:05

They will be waiting for you to tell them in a bored and slightly put upon tone that they are in your seat, please move along.

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Butchyrestingface · 03/04/2019 10:07

So I'm forced not to use by allocated seat if it's facing the wrong way.

That’s what happens to me. Presumably though the OP would prefer vomiting on the train to someone sitting in a reserved seat until the owner turns up. Grin

To think I thought I was rule-driven...

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