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Not want to talk when I get home

(109 Posts)
popsadaisy Tue 02-Apr-19 20:45:37

AIBU to not want to talk to my OH when I get home from work? I have a job which means I talk none stop all day and when I get home the last thing I want to go is talk some more! Is it unreasonable of me to tell my OH not to talk to me on the weekday evenings? We can have a good catch up on the weekend.

Eliza9919 Tue 02-Apr-19 20:47:58

Yes it is unreasonable. How can you expect him to live in silence?

MashedSpud Tue 02-Apr-19 20:50:46

Don’t have kids with that attitude.

I feel sorry for your OH. I expect he feels like he’s living with a monk.

Order654 Tue 02-Apr-19 20:52:39

You don’t want him to talk to you at all?

thelonggame Tue 02-Apr-19 20:52:51

Yes YABU. Is this a reverse?

Drogosnextwife Tue 02-Apr-19 20:53:19

Not talk to you at all, all night, or just keep it to a minimum?

TooLateToDrinkCoffee Tue 02-Apr-19 20:53:32

I feel sorry for your OH too. It is one thing to want a quiet half-hour to unwind but something else to expect silence all evening, let alone 5 evenings in every seven.

ShakeYourTailFeathers Tue 02-Apr-19 20:54:17


Maxineputyourredshoeson Tue 02-Apr-19 20:54:20

Yes, YWBU. It would be an awful atmosphere to live in silence.

I have worked in several jobs in customer service, two in a call centre one with 12hr shifts and still managed to speak to my DH and DC when I got home.

MrsMozartMkII Tue 02-Apr-19 20:54:27

Ten minutes or so of switch off time, if the commute home isn't long enough, but not to talk at all...?

Sparklesocks Tue 02-Apr-19 20:55:59

I think there’s a difference between ‘I just got in from work, I just need some quiet time to myself for a bit while I unwind, I’ll be down shortly’ to ‘don’t talk to me at all all night every weeknight’.

Sometimes I feel shattered about work and I decompress by myself on my bed for a bit, but then I go down and make dinner with DP and we chat about our day. But it’s not reasonable or fair to expect your spouse to sit in silence every evening.

SteelRiver Tue 02-Apr-19 20:56:06

Is this a late April Fool? Of course YABU. How can you possibly expect your husband to not speak to you from Monday morning to Saturday morning?!

pouraglasshalffull Tue 02-Apr-19 20:56:15

Yes YABU. Do you have any idea how much this will impact his life?

DH used to work every single evening til half 9, I'd come in from work at around half 5 and I would sit in silence every single day. I became miserable and depressed, and it had a big toll on our relationship

Don't be selfish OP think of the affect this will have on your husband

sandi2019 Tue 02-Apr-19 20:56:36 :-0
This has got to be a joke 😂

thefinn Tue 02-Apr-19 20:57:29

Really? Do you mean you want some quiet time or that your OH will only open his mouth on weekends?! Personally couldn't live like that if it's the latter.

feelingsinister Tue 02-Apr-19 20:58:09

I've felt like this in some jobs and sometimes will take myself upstairs for 30 mins when I get in. Or I'll stop somewhere on the way home and sir for a while.

It's a 45 min drive at the moment so that gives me the chance to process my day and am usually looking forward to seeing my partner when I get home.

Asking him not to speak to you at all is out of line, I'd be really hurt and so would my partner.

Chickychoccyegg Tue 02-Apr-19 20:58:24

my dh gets home late from work most nights, by then im really tired and cant be bothered talking much, we chat about our day/share any news or interesting info, but otherwise be both just want to relax(watch t.v/read/bath/mess around on phones) we pass comment on stuff eg thats on t.v, and we catch up by phone when we can during the day so i hope you mean something like that o.p and not for him to not talk to you at all

keenwasalad Tue 02-Apr-19 20:59:20


YABU and MYSBS (maybe you should be single)

Singlenotsingle Tue 02-Apr-19 20:59:45

Not very good company, are you? I'm surprised you managed to attract an OH at all!

donquixotedelamancha Tue 02-Apr-19 21:00:03

I'd bloody love that. We have an understanding where I get about an hour of peace (not silence, just not yammer) after a hard day.

If you actually want no talking all night then obviously you are bonkers.

Middlrm Tue 02-Apr-19 21:00:08

I have a job where I talk non stop to
People, and it is nice to have a bit of
Quiet time... but you can’t request not
To talk to someone bar the weekends ... it’s just rude.
I used to have a bath or shower when I got
In (on maternity leave at the moment so
Can’t shut me up when I have a adult
To talk to ) just to wash away my day and allow my head time to calm, try that ... x

cherry2727 Tue 02-Apr-19 21:03:28


ScreamingValenta Tue 02-Apr-19 21:03:36

Going against the grain, I don't think you're being unreasonable. I need quiet, wind-down time after work and I hate being bombarded with conversation.

It's a bit much to ask for silence all evening, but an hour or two of quiet time works wonders for me.

It's one of many reasons I've never wanted children because I find it hard to cope with incessant chatter. It's reasonable to ask another adult to give you space, though - obviously unless there's something important that won't wait.

Thankssomuch Tue 02-Apr-19 21:04:03

What about essential stuff like ‘the kitchen is on fire, we must leave now’?

HeyJude81 Tue 02-Apr-19 21:04:33

I talk all day, everyday....whether I’m at work or doing the school run and shopping, talking to neighbours, calling my mum, talking to kids before school and after school. I seriously feel like I’m all talked out by the time DP gets home.


He is my partner and there’s nobody else I’d rather talk to!

Perhaps have a bath when u get in, chill for half an hour then talk to ur DP. I’d be heartbroken if DP came home from work everyday and didn’t want to talk to me!!

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