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To wonder what would happen to us..

(18 Posts)
Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:07:37

If he divorced me. DH and I have been arguing quite a lot. I'm on PIP/ESA for long term health conditions. He doesn't like it. Even though I pay over £500 a month towards the mortgage and bills and get shopping with it also.

What would happen if he divorced me, what would happen to my and our two boys, they are 13 and 10. We have been married since 2012. We're home owners but it is his really as he bought it in 1990s.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:16:53


minmooch Tue 02-Apr-19 17:22:08

You are married so your house would be considered part of any divorce situation. He would also have responsibilities towards his children. As a lone parent you would be eligible for benefits. Your best bet is to see a solicitor, armed with your joint financial information. Any decent family divorce solicitor will give you a good idea what you could expect to receive in a divorce settlement. Look in the gov website for benefits in the eventuality of a divorce.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:25:58

Even though he bought it years ago and it's his name on the mortgage?

Charley34 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:26:10

Why doesn't he like it that your on PIP/ESA you can't help being unwell.not very supportive you will get lots of help with costs and your benefits will stay yours as it's you that's ill may get extra help too .

Chocolateisfab Tue 02-Apr-19 17:26:48

Marital asset regardless of who's name.

Babyroobs Tue 02-Apr-19 17:31:32

You would most likely get half the value of the house, whether you could stay there until your youngest child turns 18/ leaves education would be something that would have to be discussed. either that or one would have to buy the other out of the property but these are all things you would need to discuss. Your benefits may increase if you weren't relying on his income but if you needed to claim Universal credit then capital 9 for example from the sale/ equity of the home ) may affect what you can claim.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:36:14

Hopefully it won't happen, I just wanted to be aware. It's a bit worrying. I think the money issues go back to his own parents growing up. His mum used to fritter money on hobbies and there was a lot of stress. Now he sees me taking in what he sees as quite a bit of money. (it's not really after paying for things). He worries a lot about money. he says he didn't sign up to be a carer.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:37:46

Thanks btw, reassuring.

justthecat Tue 02-Apr-19 17:38:44

What about his vows- richer or poorer, in sickness and health ?

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:41:50

That's right. For him too, he also has a chronic condition. We never know what the future will bring.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin Tue 02-Apr-19 17:42:47

You need to speak to a solicitor to get advice. Would you be looking at shared custody of the children or do you want sole/will he want sole? That will have an impact on the house as well.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:43:05

It was bought for 78K but prices have risen a lot since 1990s and next door sold recently for 500K. So would be enough for a home perhaps even if only half of it. Maybe not round here though.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:50:10

What if he said he needed to have the boys all the time as I wouldn;t cope due to health? He could back that up with my need for PIP :-(
they are older now so easier in a way. Bless them. Eldest e.g. will go to shop for milk etc.

justthecat Tue 02-Apr-19 19:25:38

Bide your time, it won’t be long before your dc are a lot more self sufficient.
It’s worth checking out how you’d stand financially, I think it’d be better than you think

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 19:51:52

I think it will be OK. he's never said anything about divorce, it is just in my head perhaps (anxiety)

PIP should be OK, they noted I had older children who had school dinners etc and helped sometimes - e.g. going to shops. Didn;t stop me getting the PIP. It's easy to worry at times.

But yes helps to know perhaps if the worst came to the worst what the situation might be. Don't need more to worry about!

OnlyLittleMissOrganised Tue 02-Apr-19 20:21:34

Also with regards to providing. There is a lot of shopping you can do online now. Just because you may not be able to walk somewhere doesn't mean you still can't provide for your children.

Home77 Tue 02-Apr-19 20:39:27

Yes we do shopping online. It does help

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