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Help- ndn and dv what should I do ??

(104 Posts)
Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:10:47

Help. New ndn moved in one month ago. My friend on the other side heard him being verbally abusive a couple of weeks ago. Yest I heard what can only be described as taunting, then him shouting very very loudly, then thumps and smashing noises then crying. It was in the afternoon I was home unwell. It was literally so loud through the wall it was as though he was in the room with me. God forbid. I immediately phoned my friend who owns the house to tell her as I did not know what else to do - she phoned the letting agent who phoned them to say that if it happens again notice will be served.
I feel terrible for her and how to get her the help she needs. His daughter visits every other weekend so it is no doubt a cp concern to me. I'm terrified of him as a result and certainly don't want him to target me, unlikely as that most probably is.
What is the best thing to do? Obviously my first concern is for the woman's welfare not for them to be evicted.

SweepTheHalls Tue 02-Apr-19 12:11:59

Call the police not the letting agent!

HoHoHolittlepea Tue 02-Apr-19 12:12:55

so confused as to why you called your friend and not the police?

Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:13:47

I didn't know what to do - it was a huge shock to hear and that was my first thought

Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:14:29

I will call the police next time

Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:14:56

Also because ndn who owns the house is a good friend and said to tell her in case of any problems

Kezebel Tue 02-Apr-19 12:17:29

I will call the police next time

Words fail me.

Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:19:59

Seriously? If you are at home and hear screaming and crashing for the first time next door would you call the police?

tkband3 Tue 02-Apr-19 12:20:20

This poor woman needs help and support, not to be evicted. Next time (and there will be a next time) it happens, please call the police. In the meantime, if you see her at all, be friendly to her, as it may be comforting for her to know that there is someone close by who may be able to help in an emergency.

Shamoogren Tue 02-Apr-19 12:21:13

Please could I just have a sensible range of optionins on what I should do to keep her safe and me safe? Should I contact the police retrospectively?

TheQueef Tue 02-Apr-19 12:21:59

hmm

Chocolateisfab Tue 02-Apr-19 12:23:40

Keep a diary op. I have rang about ndn as it happened. Police arrived in mins. They know it was me. Actually thanked me for taking steps to safeguard the victim. (the ndn did). I would ring police for advice.

Tomtontom Tue 02-Apr-19 12:25:04

Call the police now.

My neighbour was murdered by her husband. None of us knew what was going on so we couldn't get her help.

Serving notice on a vulnerable woman is fucking evil.

ShitAtScarbble Tue 02-Apr-19 12:25:09

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShadowHuntress Tue 02-Apr-19 12:27:51

^This

Newyearnewname2019 Tue 02-Apr-19 12:29:59

Phone the police. Nothing else is acceptable in this situation.

tenbob Tue 02-Apr-19 12:30:37

Seriously? If you are at home and hear screaming and crashing for the first time next door would you call the police?

Yes. That is literally the most obvious decision anyone would have to make.

If it happened in the street, would you a) call the police or b) call your friend?

Words fail me

cloudymelonade Tue 02-Apr-19 12:31:18

Please could I just have a sensible range of optionins on what I should do to keep her safe and me safe? Should I contact the police retrospectively?

A sensible range of options?

Okay

Option 1: Call the police and potentially save this woman's life

Option 2: Don't and live with the potential consequences

CostanzaG Tue 02-Apr-19 12:32:31

Call the police immediately.

My best friend's NDN heard a similar thing one night and didn't report it. The next morning her son son found her dead - her partner had killed her.
Tell the police please.

MyDcAreMarvel Tue 02-Apr-19 12:32:50

Do you realise she was probably hit again for “ nearly getting them both evicted”. Because that will be how he will see it.
How could you be so stupid?

CostanzaG Tue 02-Apr-19 12:33:22

Oh and that was the first time she had heard anything....

Anothertempusername Tue 02-Apr-19 12:34:12

So not the letting agents have warned them he will take hat out on her. Of course you call the police. If someone was attacking you would you want someone to call your landlord??!!

Wow. Words fail me. You should be ashamed OP.

AuntieCJ Tue 02-Apr-19 12:34:38

I can understand the OP having concerns for her own safety and panicking. She said in the OP she was unwell and was probably not thinking straight. It was a shock.

If you are afraid of the man then report anonymously, saying you were passing the house.

justmyview Tue 02-Apr-19 12:38:13

You can report to police or to social work. Reports can help to build up a picture of what's going on in the family home, even if insufficient evidence to prosecute

Singlenotsingle Tue 02-Apr-19 12:38:56

Call the police. You did what you thought was right this time, but NEXT TIME CALL THE POLICE.

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