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To take breastfed baby to the ivy ?

(81 Posts)
dontfollowmeimlosttoo Tue 02-Apr-19 09:57:04

Hi ,

My baby is 5 weeks old , breastfeeding has been tough for us from the beginning ! Poor latch , cracked nipples etc anyway found out he had posterior tongue tie , division done last week . Latch still hit and miss feeds can be hard ( he slips off ). Anyway we will keep going been assured it's gets better ..

What I find funny is family member fully aware of this and know my struggles at feeding in public ( constantly re latching whole boob out ) so am only really going to groups or places with parent room to feed private.

Anyway she asked me if I would like to go to the ivy for breakfast it seems abit random as baby will only be 7 weeks . Would you guys go and hope for a private room ?

KaliforniaDreamz Tue 02-Apr-19 10:25:06

Not while you're still establishing breastdeeding, no.
I struggled for 12 weeks with my first baby. (If it's any consolation the following 2 were a breeze.)
Do yourself a favour and stay home where you're comfortbale - ask her to come to you with pastries? x

GreatDuckCookery Tue 02-Apr-19 10:25:50

It doesn’t sound like you’re likely to have a relaxing time OP! I would skip it until you’ve established breastfeeding or you can leave baby with someone else ( if you want to )

Kennehora Tue 02-Apr-19 10:27:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whitesoxx Tue 02-Apr-19 10:35:19

@dontfollowmeimlosttoo feed baby before you go in, baby goes for a walk with dad/friend/gran, you eat breakfast, baby comes back to meet you and you feed baby. At the ivy or wherever you are happy feeding baby.

ChipSandwich Tue 02-Apr-19 10:35:27

There's no way I'd go but my firstborn was really difficult to feed.
Even if that hadn't been the case, I still don't think I'd have felt like it at 7 weeks. Having a newborn can be stressful enough without going out and looking for some more. That's just me though, I'm fully in support of anyone who feels up for it. I just wouldn't have wanted to, and I think that's OK too.

oh4forkssake Tue 02-Apr-19 10:39:25

Two week is a very long time away - proportionally it's nearly half your baby's life! So feeding might be very different in two weeks.

It isn't the best venue though. I'm presuming she doesn't have children??

Brummiegirl15 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:40:51

If you are struggling with latching and crying then maybe just postpone it for a few weeks.
I remember the struggle oh so well, my little girl had tongue tie, it was finally snipped and made such a difference.

I think it was approx 6-8 weeks that we finally cracked feeding and then it was a breeze and we are still feeding now at 17 months

If you don’t feel comfortable because it’s a struggle then maybe just postpone by a few weeks. I promise, once you crack it, that’s the time to go. small breastfed babies that just sleep and feed are very portable and it’s easy to go places.

It’s when they get a bit older and waking more that it’s harder work.

The feeding will get easier as well

escapade1234 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:41:48

At 7 weeks they’re not feeding constantly and you’ll probably (possibly) be in a bit of a routine (doesn’t matter if you’re not). Book it for a time wen your baby is usually napping - all mine slept around 9/9:30 for an hour ish at that stage. Even if they wake up, they don’t automatically have to be fed. But if they do, go for it - who cares? Take a blanket or large scarf and you’ll be fine.

Also, the Ivy is very relaxed. Not that it would matter if it wasn’t. People are eating in there - baby can eat too.

Alsohuman Tue 02-Apr-19 10:42:08

It’s not bizarre that she asked you at all. If you haven’t experienced a particular situation, it’s difficult to empathise. She probably thinks it would be nice for you to have a treat. You obviously feel uncomfortable so tell her so. And suggest going another time.

AppleKatie Tue 02-Apr-19 10:43:04

OP just postpone until you feel comfortable. It’s lovely your friend wants to see you but she probably doesn’t quite ‘get’ that your still in the first flush of parenthood, until feeding is established and you are feeling more confident in yourself don’t pressurise yourself to be in difficult situations.

MindyStClaire Tue 02-Apr-19 10:43:50

I fed anywhere and everywhere and didn't even try for modesty or discretion (I wouldn't have expected to be like that before the baby was born). But I wouldn't want to bring a small baby anywhere remotely formal as I would stress out over crying etc more than feeding. I think it's personal - if you'd relax enough to enjoy, go for it. If it doesn't appeal, say so.

JaneEyre07 Tue 02-Apr-19 10:43:54

It's a very relaxed eatery that serves cottage pie and burger and chips..... hardly fine dining. We go to the Cheltenham one loads and during race week, it was very lively in there for breakfasts!!

Just ring in advance and ask for a quiet table and tell them you have a young baby.... it'll be fine!

HolesinTheSoles Tue 02-Apr-19 10:43:56

At 7 weeks they’re not feeding constantly

I don't think all babies have read this manual. Many still feed on demand and cluster feed when going through a growth spurt. Yes the baby might be on a schedule and just sleep serenely the whole time, they also might be cluster feeding and struggling with latch and fussing the entire time.

I don't think its crazy your friend asked but it's fine if you say maybe in a few months.

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Apr-19 10:49:20

Why would you 'hope' for a private room, rather than phoning and checking there'll be one available?

bengalcat Tue 02-Apr-19 10:53:13

I used to take mine and just ‘stuffed her up my jumper ‘ / wrapped a scarf over me to feed - would try and avoid busiest times though - if you call them first they may be able to afford you some privacy and who knows unless you’re there for hours the babe might sleep throughout

whateverhappenstheremore Tue 02-Apr-19 10:54:38

I don't think the breast feeding is the issue. A crying baby who can't latch in a busy restaurant is an issue

BossAssBitch Tue 02-Apr-19 10:55:16

The Ivy is pretty relaxed, even the Cov Gdn one, especially at breakfast time, I would imagine you mean a late breakfast in any case...I would go, just treat it as a regular restaurant, which is it. Le Gavroche is it not. The suburban based ones even more so, the Cobham branch is v casual.

LaurieMarlow Tue 02-Apr-19 10:55:47

I'd go. I'd be delighted by the invite. And I wouldn't take a scarf.

But then none of mine were particularly hard to feed at that point.

Do what you're comfortable with. But don't be put off by the fact it's the Ivy. If you'd meet her in Cafe Nero I don't see why you wouldn't meet her here.

tenbob Tue 02-Apr-19 10:57:10

The proper Ivy or one of the chain?

The proper one serves nursery food and is very relaxed. The staff are friendly and accommodating, and the whole ‘vibe’ of the place is discretion which is why celebrities have loved it for so long
It is much more relaxed than fine dining

The chain is really just a chain using the Ivy name. I wouldn’t overthink it any more than if I was going to Côte or Prezzo

Cotswoldmama Tue 02-Apr-19 10:57:16

Its up to you and what your comfortable with. I would breastfeed anywhere and I breastfed until my son was nearly 3! I never had any negative reactions so if your worried about breastfeeding in public try not to worry what others think. Also as someone else said two weeks is a long time and generally by 6 weeks babies finally click and get efficient at breastfeeding so can breastfeed for shorter periods and with a bigger gap between feeds. You could try giving a feed before you leave to reduce the chance of needing to feed when you are out?

edgeofheaven Tue 02-Apr-19 10:58:13

At that age they just sleep. I took my 12 week old breastfed baby to high tea at a five star hotel and she didn’t make a peep. Woke once for a feed then fell asleep again.

Aozora13 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:08:22

If you don’t feel comfortable, then just say no. With my first DD (who had a tongue tie that wasn’t picked up til 6 weeks and not corrected until 8 weeks, and who wanted to feed constantly) I was determined to prove that it was no big deal, I wasn’t going to let a small thing like having a tiny baby with feeding issues get in the way of my life. As a result I was just really anxious and miserable when we went out until feeding issues were resolved (which was really by 10-11 weeks but felt like eternity at the time). DD2 also had a tongue tie but this time I just said no to everything unless I really wanted to do it. Her issues were resolved by 6 weeks thankfully, but I saved myself a lot of stress by just saying “thanks but not at the moment, not until we’re ready”

NunoGoncalves Tue 02-Apr-19 11:11:17

I would just be honest with the friend. "Can we take a raincheck, baby is struggling to feed at the moment, lots of crying etc. I'm not ready for all that in a very public place".

If she doesn't understand that and happily agree to postpone, then she's a dick anyway.

edwinbear Tue 02-Apr-19 11:17:01

The Ivy Cafe is like going to a Cafe Rouge, it's a casual dining place not a fine dining restaurant. The one we go to is full of DC and babies and nobody would bat an eyelid. However, if you feel worried or uncomfortable then postpone u til feeding is going a bit better.

Springwalk Tue 02-Apr-19 11:17:04

It’s very busy and very noisy, and whether breast feeding or not will not be an ideal environment for a young baby.
I wouldn’t even consider it. I can’t see how you will ever enjoy it ( or the baby)

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