Ok so 6 weeks on since I booted my ex out, still have days were I'm spinning out at the stupidest things, but generally doing great. I know it's early days, but I think we are in a fairly settled place, obviously still trying to nail a lot of the details out, but we are able to converse in a grown up way most of the time. I am happy that I don't have the stresses I have been dealing with this last year, and frankly happy and relieved that I don't have him in the house.
So I am trying to put myself back together and learn to be myself a bit more. I have been chatting to a nice guy on POF and we met up for the first time last week. Ex was looking after the kids so I could go out, and there has been no secrecy over where I am going, and he doesn't seem to have a problem with it, actually he seems quite happy I am moving on and not falling apart. So he sent me a jokey message which I got on my way down there, and I took it in the way it was meant, as a joke, and a bit of lighthearted support in what I was doing, he knew I was a bit nervous. Then on another night out, which he knew about, (out with friends this time) he sent me another couple of private messages, again, lighthearted and a bit of banter. It completely threw me, because it's not something he woud have done when we were together. Now I know he is not a jealous person, he wasn't the entire time we were married, and he is not holding out for us to get back together, neither of us want that, but anyone I have spoken to seems to think he is trying to play with my head, and I don't know what to think. I know this is not the way he would have behaved before, and I also know that he is not being mean or deliberately malicious. He wanted to leave the marriage, and forced my hand so that I couldn't have him in the house anymore, so I know that this is not him trying to win me back or anything.
AIBU to think that he didn't want to be with me, and this is borderline inappropriate, especially as he has been with someone else for the best part of the last year, and just ask him to stop? Or should I just take it as him trying to help me move on and get over it?
I know some of my friends have said he is trying to fck with me, but I honestly don't think he is that kind of person, although I also didn't think he was the type of person to behave in a lot of the shitty ways he has behaved towards me over the last while....it just seems every time I get past something and move on a bit further, something happens, usually because of his behaviour, or directly related to his behaviour and it sends me off spinning again, I just don't know how much of it is me just being a bit fcked up still and how much of it is him being an arse
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to wonder wtf is going on here?
10 replies
kayaholly · 01/04/2019 22:13
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.