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To insist on ttc number two now?

(1 Post)
user1480880826 Mon 01-Apr-19 20:15:13

I’m 8 months into a 2 year fixed term contract at work and we have a 2 year old dd. I’m in my mid 30s and not getting any younger.

I feel ready to have another baby (we always said we would have 2) but dh says he’s not ready. Our daughter is very hard work, extremely clingy with me, loves a tantrum and has only recently started sleeping through the night. My husband thinks we should enjoy our time together before putting ourselves through it all again (we basically put our relationship on hold for the past 2 years because our daughter was so all-consuming and we were so exhausted).

However, if we wait I risk not being entitled to maternity leave because my contract will have ended and there’s no guarantee of moving straight into another role. Or I’ll be pregnant and job hunting which sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Or I’ll start a new role and then announce that I’m pregnant which will look a bit shit.

I also don’t want a big age difference between our kids so I don’t want to wait much longer.

Finally, I had a miscarriage the first time around so I’m very aware that things don’t always run to plan. To me this is another reason to crack on rather than wait.

Obviously I can’t force my husband to have another child but he has dismissed my concerns. In particular, my concerns around my job and the possibility of having no maternity pay or having to job hunt whilst pregnant. As far as he in concerned these are not good reasons and we can (just about) afford to forego my maternity pay and still afford to send dd to nursery while I’m on maternity leave. But what about my career? I don’t want another big gap in my employment history. I will lose out on pension contributions too. It’s me that will have no job to return to after being off work for another year.

What would other people do in this situation?

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