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help with ds teacher

(10 Posts)
nataliejc77 Mon 01-Apr-19 19:57:24

Hi,
Any advice would be gratefully received.

Last November I was in the process of applying to my local council to delay my ds school start date, he has various delays (speech, understanding etc). I asked ds school nursery teacher if they agreed with what i was doing and if so could she provide a brief sentence stating this to support my case. Teacher said she agrees with me and that she knows ds is not ready. Conversation ended with the promise that my letter would come. Two reminders later, the deadline for submissions came and the letter never materialised. I assumed that the letter was sent directly to the council.
Fast forward until last month and I found out that I had won my delay but letter never materialised. A few days later I had a parents evening with teacher and asked what had happened and was told head teacher had told her not to write it. I explained that I thought she should have told me that when she knew that the letter was never going to happen she could have told me. She was quite dismissive really.
The problem is that I now dread taking my ds to school and teacher deliberately stays out of my way. I have another 18 months of this and suddenly i can't bare it any longer. I wish i had said something sooner but i can't change that but I can improve things or should i just let sleeping dogs lie? Hibu?

7circlemats Mon 01-Apr-19 20:03:39

I'd just leave it now. She should have told you when she couldn't do it, however it sounds like she has been put in an awkward situation by her head teacher.

nataliejc77 Tue 02-Apr-19 13:14:30

I did wonder if i had left things too long

CardsforKittens Tue 02-Apr-19 13:37:40

Did she give you a reason? I haven’t been in this situation but I think I’d have found it easier if they’d told me it was policy or something. And yes, she could have mentioned it earlier. In your shoes I’d be feeling deeply apprehensive about the prospect of having to take on the whole system to get my child’s needs acknowledged, and this situation with the letter would feel like an indication of the scale of the battle. But maybe that’s just me.

GottaGoGottaGo Tue 02-Apr-19 14:22:31

I had something similar a few years ago, asked teacher about something, she said yes, head teacher (who is a dragon) then over-rode her, said no and told teacher she wasn't allowed to talk to me about it!! So, if I were you, I wouldn't blame the teacher or be awkward with her, I would be blaming the head teacher. But since it was a while ago now, I would just leave it, luckily it didn't affect the outcome. Try not to be mad at the teacher, she may not have had any choice about telling you she wasn't doing it and may be feeling awful too which is why she tried to gloss over it without dropping the head in it and came across as dismissive.

Sirzy Tue 02-Apr-19 14:25:10

You got the outcome you wanted so let things lie and move on. A positive relationship for your sons benefit is more important

bridgetreilly Tue 02-Apr-19 14:26:40

You don't need to do anything. This has blown over. Move on.

Bluntness100 Tue 02-Apr-19 14:27:45

You got the delay, let it go. She likely just didn't get round to it and doesn't wish to admit it. Or the head doesn like teachers stepping in. Who knows.

You got the delay, let it go.

nataliejc77 Tue 02-Apr-19 15:25:19

No you are all right. I do have the tendency to over analyse things and make things worse. I do appreciate your advice

Alieeeeeens Tue 02-Apr-19 17:20:50

I also wouldn’t blame the teacher for this but I would (politely) contact the headteacher and ask why they had stopped the teacher from writing the letter.

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