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To want a healthy arguement!

(7 Posts)
MummyL0Ve Mon 01-Apr-19 17:15:00

I cannot say anything to my DP without a war! It could be the smallest and slightest thing, the next thing you know he is shouting and saying vile things, and to my horror i participate!
Its an awful cycle we appear to be stuck in..

AIBU to expect an arguement where the air is cleared rather than muddied with further nonsense!

We all argue that i know, but this is on another level, i feel as though he cannot handle being moaned at so in return he turns it round to something i did and makes it into somehing very serious.

This has been ongoing for more than a decade at my wits end.

Annunaki Mon 01-Apr-19 22:16:26

flowers for you mummylove! Hope your ok! I know EXACTLY how you feel. Ill be watching with interest to see any advise as i have also reached the end of my tether. It is always over somthing ridiculous and dp will keep on and on until im in a corner and the only way out is through him (psychologically speaking!) so i also know about the horror of participating blush i try to leave the room when i know hes about to start but he will follow me around the house until i admit he is in the right, even if i try to agree with what he says he will disagree that i agree with him iyswim its infuriating! Ive noticed that if he starts to raise his voice i lower mine until im almost whispering and it on a rare occasion has worked but other than that im at a loss. Im sorry im not more helpful.

Queenofthestress Mon 01-Apr-19 22:48:48

Have you tried just plainly telling him you're not arguing and just ignoring him until he stops?
Thats about the only thing I got ideawise because I kicked mine out, was I fuck having someone shout, scream at me and verbally abuse me because I disagreed with him

justasking111 Mon 01-Apr-19 22:57:42

I ignore mine, do not shout, reiterate calmly again and again that he is shouting. He goes red in the face. Some people are shouters.

MummyL0Ve Tue 02-Apr-19 15:17:26

Thank you for the response ladies

I have tried my best to ignore. Sometimes all i have to do is ask a question and it leads to an arguement, im finding it harder and harder to ignore, i feel as though i need to have my say, because often he is putting me down and i have to defend myself.

It sounds so pathetic but it has really got to me lately.

BertrandRussell Tue 02-Apr-19 15:19:25

What are you getting out of this relationship?

MummyL0Ve Tue 02-Apr-19 16:01:41

BertrandRussell, not a alot at the moment. In his defense he is going through a tough time with his MH, but the past few years he has changed into this awful person, he is not the person i fell in love with

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