Prime example of CFery from previous home owner... Aibu?(252 Posts)
Two years I've been on MN and this is both my first AIBU and my first CF post! So...
We bought our house 5 years ago. It was previously owned jointly by three male colleagues (let's call them Tom, Dick and Harry). To give a bit of background context there were lots of small niggles shortly after we exchanged- when we moved in it turned out the 3 guys had left a crap load of furniture/broken equipment in the house that they no longer wanted and the garden was littered with hundreds of cigarette ends (no exaggeration). The loft was even left full of their stuff. "Tom" hasn't been any bother to us to give him an iota of credit. For the first 2 years "Dick" caused us no end of trouble as we had weekly letters and calls from debt collection agencies threatening to send bailiffs as he owed a lot of people a lot of money and naturally hadn't left any forwarding addresses. Knew my rights re:bailiffs so wasn't worried but it was frankly a pain in the arse to deal with. Damn you Dick.
The AIBU relates to what I think is cheeky fuckery on Harry's part. Harry randomly turned up on our doorstep three months after we'd moved in to say he'd come to collect his stuff from the loft. My inclination was to tell him we'd got rid of it all to teach a valuable lesson but my DH instantly said "no worries" and went and got the stuff for him from the loft. (He's a good egg). In year two of living here we got a lot of clearly NHS mail for Harry from our local hospital marked Private and Urgent. I didn't open any of the mail but could see the department number from the envelope window so called the hospital just to let them know Harry doesn't live here anymore so they might need to call him instead. Problem solved.
Fast forward 3 years and tonight my DH and I got home from a long trip to find a note put through our door "Hi, it's Harry here. I used to own your house. I'm expecting an important appointment letter from my GP and they have my registered address as here so can you let me know when it arrives. My number is XXXX. Thanks, Harry". I sent a reply saying that I'd look out for it but it was probably wise to check as I'd told the hospital before he didn't live here so it might not be sent here. Also said it might be a good idea to update his GP surgery with his new address. Got a reply a few minutes later saying "no it'll definitely come to you. I haven't told them I've moved as I can get appointments really quickly in that surgery and you can let me know when letters arrive".
So- basically he's refusing to register with a surgery in his own area so he can keep using up appointments here... and also expects me to look out for his mail and act as his secretary. I'm sorry but what the actual fuck?! It's been 5 years, just change your sodding GP surgery!! I've a good mind to get the letter and then tell him it's here but also call the surgery that stamps the envelope to tell them he's not living here anymore. AIBU to do that? Or should I just message him to say I'll let him know this once but I'm not doing it again? Or is that fact I've just endured a 3 hour car trip with a screaming toddler meaning I'm being overly harsh?
I wouldn't even bother to tell him when the letter arrives. Mark it (and all his post) "return to sender, no longer at this address" and, frankly, block Harry's number. Can't believe you stored his stuff in the loft for 3 months either! That should have been dealt with by solicitors the day you moved in.
Lol. Classic CF. Tell her m it will cost him. Royal Mail do a redirection service, charge him the same.
This sounds dodgy! He's lying to the surgery and making you complicit, especially now he's told you.
Plus he's expecting you to be his secretary without even asking you!
YANBU and you’re not being harsh.
Bin the letters. Block the number. Definitely
When the letter arrives, write on it that he moved away in 2014 and take/post it back to the surgery. And block his number!
No, that’s annoying. Also I think GPs prefer their patients to live within a sort of catchment area in case there’s an emergency. I think it would be reasonable to tell Harry that you’re not in a position to contact him about urgent mail and he will need to make alternative arrangements. And don’t engage further. If he misses an appointment he may be motivated to sort his stuff out. If you do it once he’ll try to persuade you to do it again next time.
YANBU! Massive CF'ery. I wouldn't bother contacting him about the letter when it arrives. I'd RTS as they moved five bloody years ago! What a CF.
Call the surgery and tell them he doesn’t live at your address. Tell them they mustn’t send any further mail. Block Harry’s number.
Harry is an idiot - you don’t have to live in a certain area to be registered with a GP. They can refuse to accept new registrations if they’re oversubscribed and you live too far away. But Harry will be fine as he’s an existing patient.
Seriously? Why didn't you message back
"You're having a laugh Harry, you left 5 years ago, I'm not your secretary, I won't let you know when the letter arrives. I will return to sender but whenever it suits me, next week, next month, next year, who knows but definitely after your appointment date has passed you cheeky fucker"
Thanks for all the replies so far. We did start binning their mail after a few years. I work in the NHS myself and know the issues it causes in terms of funding and appointments when people don't change to a surgery in their area so I think that partially drives my anger that he's blatantly just too lazy to research where he should register with now.
I would do it for this letter in case it is genuinely important but make it clear that I would not be doing it again and that any further mail would be returned to the sender.
Cheeky fucker indeed!
Just block his number & put return to sender on the letter and put it back in the post box. Do the same with all mail.
I think that's why I've said I'll look out for it @SoupDragon as it's directly related to his health. But I'm not doing it again!
5 weeks I'd definitely do as he asked.
5 months and I would be feeling annoyed but may do it one time -but I would contact the surgery as you said.
5 years and no way would I be acting as his secretary. Send everything back and dont interact with him . Dont call him and bin the note just in case Dh gets a crisis of conscience.
What happens if he dies of cancer
Only joking! Bin the letters
I had something similar - a woman turned up waiting her new driving license that had been sent. We bought the house from her ex husband and she had moved out SIX years before the time she came round. She was livid that I had returned to sender. Tell your CF to jog on!
I'd report it all to the surgery. Letters would be 'Return to Sender, no longer at this address' and block Harry's number. Fuck that. Kept getting post for the guy we bought our house from. He told us he hadn't changed his address and he'd drop in periodically to collect it as he wanted to see what we'd done with Mum's old house. DH told him we were not the post office or his PA so all post would be returned to sender and blocked his number. CFer.
Hi not quite the same but we e been at our address for 8 years and, on occasion, their son gets drunk and accidentally gets his drunk dial curries delivered to our house. Sadly, not paid for, I feel awful sending them away.
No. It’s ridiculous. Harry can’t use your address as if it’s some post office box. Just tell him no. If it’s important, he can contact the surgery himself. Just put ‘return to sender, not at this address for three years’. Bloch his bpnumber and ignore any contact.
If you register at the GP, won't it remove him anyway?
That's what happened when I registered at my old flat. The old occupants were removed.
Why are you getting yourself further into this? Block him, return all mail "return to sender gone away" or whatever.
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