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Mothers day - Mum upset about MIL mention on Facebook

(40 Posts)
Sweetcornandmash Sun 31-Mar-19 23:03:17

I know, sorry, another mothers day thread! Just needed to have a little vent.
Love my mum dearly, but she's driving me mad!
Birthdays/ mothers day/ big events she always demands a Facebook status up saying how wonderful a mum she is etc.
She is a wonderful mum, really kind and helpful with the grandchildren.. I always put something up but usually it gets picked apart that it isn't gushing about her enough!
Today I've put some photos up of her and my mother in law (who is also amazing and like a mum to me) wishing them both a happy mother's day. We got them both cards and presents too but straight away my mum had the grump that I'd dared put a public declaration of happy mothers day to my MIL as she's not my mum and apparently my dad agreed!
Grrr its all so stupid, I was happy with a card and some pictures from my little ones.
Stupid oversold mothers day!

PersonaNonGarter Sun 31-Mar-19 23:04:28

Block her. Honestly. Are you both 19?

OwlinaTree Sun 31-Mar-19 23:06:41

That's crazy! Why does she care about others seeing a personal message on Facebook about her?

Merryoldgoat Sun 31-Mar-19 23:14:05

I’d probably tell her to shut up, but that’s just me...

SandyY2K Sun 31-Mar-19 23:17:01

The people who want the world to know how great they are...usually aren't that great.

Your mum sounds insecure and childish.

Singlenotsingle Sun 31-Mar-19 23:20:43

It was very kind and thoughtful of you to acknowledge MIL as well as dm. You did the right thing.

organicmama Sun 31-Mar-19 23:34:51

I acknowledged my ex MIL today. Not on SM but I think it's the norm when they've been in your life for a long time? Love is infinite. It's not a competition...

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt Sun 31-Mar-19 23:39:03

Hard stare, say there'll be nothing in future unless she bucks her ideas up.

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sun 31-Mar-19 23:39:50

I think I'd come off Facebook for that. This is crazy

ReallyReallyNo Sun 31-Mar-19 23:41:15

As lovely as you say your mum is she sounds like a complete bellend.

MusaMama Sun 31-Mar-19 23:45:22

So its my first mothers day and all i got was a card! I am feeling dissapointed but pretending all is fine to not ruin the day. I did drop hints about a present n also said to keep within £10 budget. Wud hve been happy with a mum mug or box of chocs even. Just something to show a little recognition and effort. Anyway nevermind. Dh did offer to take me shopping at 7pm once he saw images of sisters mothers day display but i said no as it was more about the thought not a mad rush shop. Rant over n out.

MusaMama Sun 31-Mar-19 23:47:51

Sorry was meant to create new post. New to mumsnet.

RandomMess Sun 31-Mar-19 23:49:44

@Sweetcornandmash seriously tell your Mum you won't be bothering on FB anymore! Seems like your Mum is focused on what her friends/family get said about them.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

MoaningMinniee Sun 31-Mar-19 23:51:31

Don't worry @MusaMama I did much the same when I first joined the merry band of vipers back in 2008.

IHateUncleJamie Sun 31-Mar-19 23:53:56

That’s crackers. YANBU. All you need to say is “That’s fine; if you don’t like what I put then I won’t put anything next year”.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 01-Apr-19 00:03:19

And this is precisely why I don't have my MIL on my FB friends list, and if my mum was still alive, she wouldn't be on it either.
My Dad is - but he's on a restricted view list, and really only there so I can share photos with him (different continents).
My siblings are blocked for varying reasons.
I do have DNs on, but also restricted view, same reason as my Dad.

PregnantSea Mon 01-Apr-19 00:08:28

Just say to her that you won't be doing anymore Facebook posts like this because it obviously causes upset.

I'd just delete the thing, personally, but if you don't want to then at least stop with the gushy post requests. Sorry if this sounds rude but is your mum really that lovely? Lovely people don't request gushy Facebook posts

Blondebakingmumma Mon 01-Apr-19 00:09:22

I don’t think your mum is being reasonable about wanting a gushing FB post. But MIL is not your mum and didn’t raise you so I can see why your mum would be upset about you wishing someone else happy mother’s day. If you wished her happy mother’s day on behalf of your hubby fine

LadyGAgain Mon 01-Apr-19 00:12:04

Tell her to grow up. It's lovely that you have a positive relationship with your MIL. Awful that your mum feels threatened by it. Is there a back story?

thefinn Mon 01-Apr-19 00:18:23

For things like this and more serious ones I don't have mum as a fb friend. I think what you did was a beautiful thing, wouldn't put up with being told what to write, by anyone.

empod Mon 01-Apr-19 00:18:44

Musamama 💐 ❤️

MusaMama Mon 01-Apr-19 00:26:13


MusaMama Mon 01-Apr-19 00:26:36

Thank you

Sweetcornandmash Mon 01-Apr-19 00:28:03

Thanks for replies, Ive just laughed it off and said she's being silly but know she is really annoyed by it.
I think the problem is that she has really crappy parents herself who never showed love openly to her so now it's like she wants us children to gush to the world to show she's a great mum so she's got validation.
I get that MIL didn't raise me etc but she also does a lot for us and we're very close so do see her as another mum. Not taking away from my own mum but love them both.
Next year I'm writing nothing, that'll go down well! Hah!

BloodsportForAll Mon 01-Apr-19 00:32:38

Tell her here and now (well, not HERE literally) that from this moment there will be no more public displays on facebook, that it's tacky and you would rather tell her in person or through a well written card or phonecall just how much she means to you. And that it'll be the same for everyone, not just her.

She just wants others to see her being lit up by you. It's not about you, it's about people on the internet. And that's not what mothers day or birthdays or Christmas are about.

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