Am l going to give my daughter food issues?(12 Posts)
Need some feedback and advice in case situation comes up again.
Had my mum and my friend here for Sunday roast today, friend as always brought dessert..
Daughter is 7.5 years old and l have always been quite liberal when it comes to "treat foods" with the exception of lollipops cos l can't bear them. But we live by the everything in moderation rule - plus we exercise a lot and figure if we never let her have any sweets or choc etc she will go wild when she is old enough to go to the shops by herself. In general we lead healthy lives and eat a good and healthy diet.
Lately she is constantly asking for chocolate/sweets/crisps/ice cream which we don't let her have if she is hungry cos they won't fill her up. Today she got really grabby asking for the biggest bowl and the biggest spoon for dessert. It was only her and me in the kitchen so l had a quiet, gentle word and said you are sounding a bit greedy and you will have dessert but everyone else is having some too. She got really upset and started crying saying she didn't want anything. I think she was embarrassed and tired after a really late night but l am wondering how l could have dealt with this better? She did calm down after some time out and have dessert but l don't want to give her food issues. I very rarely had treats as a child and have struggled with my weight for years.
You're not giving her food issues you're right and she was probably just tired. Dont overthink it.
I'm similar to you and have chastised my children before for being greedy. It hasn't done any harm and makes them aware that they're asking too much. Being greedy is very different to being hungry and it's our job as parents to control how much they're indulging. Mine have pretty good self control now (12, 9 and 7) and when they do go too far, they know when I say that's too much now they stop.
She was just greedy. A simple explanation and word about her behaviour should suffice. You are reading too much into it.
I think you were fine in how you handled it. It would have been the same if she’s wanted the biggest slice of watermelon or piece of toast.
To be honest...and this is coming from someone who DID have eating problems in her youth....I don't think you handled it badly at all.
One of my DD's friends is like this and I have to say that it's an unattractive trait.
My DD's friend is 10 and she will always ask for/try to grab the larger portion of anything....also ask DD to ask me for something junky etc.
I find this hard to deal with.
It's not polite to ask for "the most" is it? it is greedy. You just told her what was what and she was as you say embarrassed which is good in a way....means she grasped what you meant.
It sounds fine what you said. There has to be enough to go round. It is hard to navigate “treats” - I do find it all quite weary because my DD gets obsessed. I’ve stopped calling it a treat or using it as a reward. And it’s hard these days because everything seems bigger and more full on eg Easter egg hunts, huuuuuuge Easter eggs (she can keep one, the rest are going)whereas we had a little “Smarties” one.
Sounds like you did totally the right thing OP. Don’t overthink it.
Thanks everyone - first timer on here! Think it just seemed worse cos we had guests. Appreciate opinions, sorry if it seems a bit of a dull aibu just needed a bit of reassurance xx
It sounds like a fairly decent response to her behaviour OP. I think you've handled it well.
"Greediness" in children is a most unattractive trait and you are right to address it BEFORE it actually becomes a food issue.
Two of my dear friend's 3 kids are excessively greedy. They have no concept of self control and their mum doesn't correct them. They will grab handfuls of offered sweets and ram them by the fist full into their mouths in order to get a second hand full. They're fed well and aren't hungry but will snaffle treats, ask for the biggest portions and don't think twice about going into the treats drawer/cupboard/box at a playdate's house and clearing it out (we've put a stop to this as others have too). It's little wonder they are overweight and their mum is at a loss as to why that could be. It's quite obvious when she meets them at the primary school gates every day and the first thing she does is give them a couple of bags of crisps each, an oversized chocolate bar or a sharing bag of Haribos. Teaching your kids to control themselves is important. Just as important as watching what they eat yourself.
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