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CF or LTB?

(14 Posts)
TheStaff Sun 31-Mar-19 18:12:28

A month ago DH said he wouldn't need feeding tomorrow Sunday as he was out walking and would be having lunch out. I asked if he was going walking with his brother, which he usually does on a Sunday, no it was with someone he was going on a walking holiday with. I said that I didn't know he was going on holiday, well I told you he says and it's in the diary! He had mentioned a few months previously he'd met a friend he used to work with and had been asked to go on a walking holiday, but no more was said, so I was unaware.
Do you think it is unreasonable that a H should book a holiday without OK it with you?
Children have flown the nest but we need DDog cover.
Anyway here is a confession. I looked at his mobile yesterday, no particular reason but he was out walking never takes his phone so I looked at emails....
I found a series of emails about an accommodation booking cock-up?
Then today I look at the diary and the walking holiday dates have been changed, with a new date in the diary just after he gets back - for a football match.
So he lies to me, he lies to his friends.

Winchestermom35 Sun 31-Mar-19 18:35:31

He’s booked a holiday without you? Avoided actually properly discussing it with by by claiming he already had? Lied to you about it? Lied to his friends?


Smelborp Sun 31-Mar-19 18:37:19

For me, that wouldn’t be acceptable in a relationship I was in. How do you feel about it though?

Amongstthetallgrass Sun 31-Mar-19 18:41:21

Who is his old friend?

HollowTalk Sun 31-Mar-19 18:42:03

Who is this person he was going on holiday with? Doesn't he realise that just writing something in a diary doesn't mean anything?

Chocolateisfab Sun 31-Mar-19 18:42:55

Could the walking friend be of the female variety?
Your feelings seem to have been ignored.

HollowTalk Sun 31-Mar-19 18:43:13

He's living like a single man, isn't he?

Would you have gone on the walking holiday, if you were asked?

Viviene Sun 31-Mar-19 18:49:32

I wouldn't be particularly bothered by DH going on holidays on his own (who doesn't love having whole house to themselves?). Unless the friend is a female in which case I would be annoyed.

TheStaff Sun 31-Mar-19 18:58:55

The friend/s is/are male. I only discovered yesterday looking through the emails there are 4 men going on the trip. It's not an OW though I have been through a similar situation in the past when the friend was a female, nothing sexual/emotional as DH has both undiagnosed Aspergers traits and sexual performance issues.
We are restricted with holidays together as we have an elderly dog at home and both kids are at uni/trying to get summer jobs, which are a priority for me.
He's just had his 60th and I think is trying to establish his youthful, testosterone, manliness by bloke holidays - he's just off 'ski-touring' next week for 10 days - not skiing mind - that's for ordinary people.
The thing I don't like is being treated like The Staff rather that The Wife!
I'll be considering how life is on my own when he'a away!

GabriellaMontez Sun 31-Mar-19 19:05:15

Doesn't sound like much of a partnership. Wouldn't suit me.

Ihatehashtags Mon 01-Apr-19 06:49:47


TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 01-Apr-19 07:05:26

We have an arrangement for evenings, whoever puts it in the diary first can go out (with the second staying home or finding a babysitter). Anything more than a night requires discussion before booking, but not necessarily permission.

He’s been very rude. How would he feel if you announced a holiday without him?

TheStaff Mon 01-Apr-19 13:39:22

In some ways I think lying to his friends is worst. There are 3 men who have been told a lie as to why they have to re-arrange their holiday. That will impact on wives, work etc. Just so DH can attend a football match - I did ask whether it was for the FA Cup final, no just last match of the season. Perhaps if it was his team in the FA cup he might have told them the truth?
I don't think he's a very nice person.
Sums it up nicely - what does the T stand for?
I don't have enough testosterone for a walking holiday with him, neither do I have all the expensive gadgets!
I do go away without him, walking with friends and city breaks with our daughter, but I always talk about it, check it doesn't clash with his plans etc.

Motoko Mon 01-Apr-19 15:49:51

I don't think he's a very nice person.

So what are you doing still being with him?

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