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AIBU?

To ask how much time you spend engaged with your young children?

9 replies

screamer1 · 31/03/2019 14:15

So when they're at home with you, how much time do you actively spend playing games, reading, doing activities etc?

My kids are 2 &4 and I feel like all my time is spent engaging with the. On some level (apart from when they watch a bit of tv). Should I take the foot off the pedal a bit, because quite frankly it's exhausting, but I feel guilty if I'm just sat on the sofa in my phone even if they're playing happily.

OP posts:
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Siameasy · 31/03/2019 16:40

I think my daughter would like to be permanently engaged 🙈
She’s 4 now and actually has improved but until about 3.5 years she wouldn’t play alone. Maybe I should’ve put my foot down earlier but hey ho on the other hand maybe it’s her personality
In hindsight I would not feel guilty zoning out at all. Playing with them is boring although we do now enjoy a board game or a card game and I read to her.

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Lazypuppy · 31/03/2019 16:45

My dd happily plays by herself and every 15mins or so, i'll join in and play a game, then leave her to it again.

She's currently sat playing now while i'm on my phone. Kids have to learn how to entertain themselves

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Doje · 31/03/2019 16:49

It's difficult at that age, because (if they're like mine) they fight as soon as you leave the room!

Mine are now 3 & 5 and much better at playing together, however, I did always encourage them to play on their own some of the time. I think it's good for them to be able to entertain themselves.

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Damntheman · 31/03/2019 16:52

Independent play is also important and shouldn't be neglected :) mine are 2 and 5. I end up engaging more often with the older as he seems less able to entertain himself than his sister.

I will engage for a while but will also take time out in equal measure to teach them independence and how to entertain themselves.

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Thegoodthere · 31/03/2019 20:21

Surely you had 2 kids so they could play with each other?

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Amongstthetallgrass · 31/03/2019 20:27

Kids do need to spend time by themselves exploring their own imaginations. It allows them to deal better with boredom when they get older.

We read books, play games, sit and relax, watch a film together and generally potter about. My youngest is in nursery now so gets lots of structured play and learning there!

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GuineaPiglet345 · 31/03/2019 20:33

DD is 2 and she likes us to play with her a lot, I try to set her off on an activity like colouring in so I can sit nearby while she does it, but I do spend quite a lot of time helping her with puzzles or games. DH does his fair share so I can just sit back and check my phone or watch tv.

I get her to “help” by putting washing in the machine then taking it all out again or giving her a bowl of dry pasta and a pan from the kitchen and she’ll spend ages moving the pasta between the bowl and the pan. I work 3 days a week so on the 2 days off we always go out to the park or National Trust property every time so she can run around outside, or I’d go mad in the house all day!

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alwaystimeforcakeandtea · 31/03/2019 20:37

My 3.5 year old only likes me or DH to be engaged in her play a lot but we both work FT so the time at home playing is quite limited anyway.

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Whatsername7 · 31/03/2019 20:41

Take your foot off the pedal and stop flogging yourself. It is absolutely fine to let them play for a while. Last week, dd7 was on a school trip so it was just dd2 at home. I left her playing whilst I made her dinner and I could hear her roleplaying and saying out loud her sisters part of the conversation. I laughed and asked if she missed dd7 and she told me 'shhhh my not finished yet' and went back to her game!

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