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To distance my dc from their grandparents?

(5 Posts)
adearydeerface Sun 31-Mar-19 13:27:00

The plan is to relocate to a 2-3 hour drive away in a few years time. Our dc are toddler and baby age currently.

PIL are great with the dc and care a lot about them. My parents on the other hand are very difficult people, I really don't like them and the feeling is mutual but they insist on seeing dc. Probably an element of control for them which is a constant issue.

In all honesty I want there to be a bit of distance between us as they literally live a 3 minute drive away.

I worry about the effect on my dc not having close, regular contact with the grandparents. I regularly saw my grandparents as a child and care about them a lot. I'm sure we'd see the in laws at least once a month so it wouldn't be too long between visits but I'm worried about the effect on my dc.

Am I being stupid worrying about this?

hidinginthenightgarden Sun 31-Mar-19 13:28:28

Will you be 2 hours from PIL too?
We are much further from my parents than PIL and I do feel it has had an effect on their relationship.

adearydeerface Sun 31-Mar-19 13:29:29

Sorry yes, PIL live about 10 minutes away also.

Settlersofcatan Sun 31-Mar-19 13:35:18

In a few years, they could go and stay with your PIL during school holidays if you wanted and they were happy.

My grandparents were on another continent and I still loved them very much - my grandmother is still alive and a big part of my life

krustykittens Sun 31-Mar-19 14:31:30

My grandparents lived in a different country from me growing up. I spent school holidays with them, which gave my working parents a break and we spoke twice a week on the phone. I adored them and had a wonderful relationship with them. Distance can be overcome if everyone works hard at it. But if the relationship is shit to start with, and it does sound like things are already difficult with your parents, then nothing at all will change that.

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