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DD made to go shopping in PJs

(1000 Posts)
ElizabethMountbatten Sun 31-Mar-19 12:25:17

Is my DH BU or is my DD?

This morning, I went to see DM for Mother's Day. DH intended to take our 3 DC to the supermarket to choose some things for lunch that they're all making together. 12yo DD flat out refused to get dressed and demanded to be left behind on her own. DH said no, she would have to come, please get dressed and be downstairs in five mins. DD did neither. DH gave her one more chance and said if she didn't do anything to get dressed, she'd go as she was. DD replied with "good! I want to go just like this, so that's no bother for me." DH told her to be careful what you wish for. She said "whatever" and closed her door. So he gave her another five mins to get dressed and called her down. She came down, "smiling all cocky" in DH's words, still not dressed, just in shortie pjs and a dressing gown, wild bedhead hair, nothing on her feet and said "sooooo......?" So DH marched her to the car, made her buckle up with the other two DC and made her walk round a local pet store for ten mins like that. When I got home, they followed five minutes later and DD was crying in fury and saying that her Dad was horrible and he embarrassed her. DH says it serves her right, she was given enough chances.

Who is BU?

unexpectedthird Sun 31-Mar-19 12:27:52

Your DD. She had plenty warning and had to deal with the consequences of her own behaviour.

Janleverton Sun 31-Mar-19 12:28:08

Your DH. why shouldn’t she stay at home? Why make this a much bigger issue than it should have been? I would be livid at my dh for doing this.

S1naidSucks Sun 31-Mar-19 12:28:17

Good for him. She needs to learn that he’ll follow through.

Smoggle Sun 31-Mar-19 12:28:29

She chose not to get dressed, so I kind of agree with your DH.

But why was he so set on her coming anyway?

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Sun 31-Mar-19 12:28:44

Fair play to your DH!

I would have taken shoes for her, but she’ll think twice before pulling that stunt again.

LooksBetterWithAFilter Sun 31-Mar-19 12:29:27

Sorry I’m with your dh. I have threatened the same to my own dd but so far have never had to carry it through.
She is 12 she is more than old enough to know what the consequences are. She hoped he’d say fine stay at home when she had already been told no. She was also warned to be careful what she wished for. She won’t tske on your dh like that again in a hurry because he will follow through on a threat. Good for him.

Freshprincess Sun 31-Mar-19 12:29:27

I agree with your DH.
He called bluff, bet she'll do as she's told next time.

TokenGinger Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:02

Your DD is BU for disobeying her father. There's no way on God's earth would I have ignored my dad like that at her age.

He told her the consequence and he followed through on it. She won't do that again.

ShitAtScarbble Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:30

She sounds like a proper little madam. Are you working on her horrible attitude?

IVEgottheDECAF Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:32

He followed through with his threat maybe she will listen next time

WaterOffaDucksCrack Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:41

She's 12 so old enough to know better. She was given plenty of warning to get dressed but thought she'd get what she wanted (to stay at home) if she didn't get dressed.

It won't be something she forgets in a hurry and the only alternative was to leave her at home which would teach her she can behave how she likes.

There's no excuse for such poor behaviour/selfishness aged 12. I know people will say all kids at that age are selfish but that hasn't been my experience. Most manage to behave just fine!

LooksBetterWithAFilter Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:43

And I don’t think it matters why he said she had to go. He had and she thought she’d found a way to play the system by not getting dressed.

OpportunityKnocks Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:45

Dd is BU

viques Sun 31-Mar-19 12:30:52

.I thought they were going to the supermarket to buy food. What are you eating from the pet store . Roast rabbit or grilled Guinea pig?

Janleverton Sun 31-Mar-19 12:31:00

Honestly - the attitude and stroppiness could have been dealt with in a much more appropriate way than frogmarching a pre-teen child to the car in her nightwear and making her walk round a pet shop for public shaming. Not even as if they went to the food shop which was the point of the trip out.

OldAndWornOut Sun 31-Mar-19 12:31:06

I think your husbands approach is commendable.

Bibijayne Sun 31-Mar-19 12:31:23

Your DD. Your DH made an ultimatum and kept to it.

Leeds2 Sun 31-Mar-19 12:31:49

I am not sure why she couldn't have been left at home but, otherwise, I think DH followed through on what he had promised. I expect that next time she will do as she was told.
I hope it doesn't ruin the rest of the day for you.

CinnabarRed Sun 31-Mar-19 12:31:52

Your DD got exactly what she deserved. Good for DH.

SnuggyBuggy Sun 31-Mar-19 12:32:22

I bet she won't do that again

PillowTalker Sun 31-Mar-19 12:32:29

Good on your DH.

Letting kids "win" in this type of situation only leads to more. If only more were like him.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 31-Mar-19 12:32:36

Your dd was wrong. Your dh was right.

BlueMerchant Sun 31-Mar-19 12:33:12

I wish my DH was more like yours.
My OH allows our DC to walk all over him- and me.
It makes me so angry and so sad. I'm always the bad guy.

DontWannaBeObamasElf Sun 31-Mar-19 12:33:24

I’m with your husband on this one.

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