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To feel a touch taken for granted by my lazy arse teens on Mother’s Day

(105 Posts)
WoollyMummoth Sun 31-Mar-19 09:56:00

I’m sat here with my coffee next to 2 unopened mother’s day cards and a bunch of flowers waiting for my Dd17 and ds14 to haul their arses out of bed and give them to me. Said cards and flowers were bought by dh at 11 last night, I know this as he rang me from the supermarket to ask if I like tulips!
I’m a normal mum who provides an ear when they’re worried or excited about stuff in their life, I feed,cloth,taxi them about the land soAIBU to point out to my two that it would have been nice if they could have chosen their own cards and flowers from their not too meagre spending money!!

HennyPennyHorror Sun 31-Mar-19 09:57:08

How can you even care about it though? they don't...it's not as if they bought them. You're taking part in a pantomine...the pretence of them "giving them" to you!

GreenTulips Sun 31-Mar-19 09:57:26

Same here

Not sure where I went wrong

Off to do their ironing

MsVestibule Sun 31-Mar-19 09:59:37

I would tell them when they get up. Not in a particularly accusatory way, more of a 'this is the one day when I would appreciate it if you went to a tiny amount of effort by going to the shop yourselves and buying a card and flowers.'

I always used to do this when I was a teenager but no doubt I used to piss my mum off in many, many other ways!!

Ragwort Sun 31-Mar-19 10:00:44

My mother’s day Card is still sitting unwritten in a bag on the stairs, no attempt to hide it. DS hasn’t even got out of bed yet, DH did bring me a coffee in bed this morning. I am just using the day to plan a nice meal & evening for my own mum smile.

PolPotNoodle Sun 31-Mar-19 10:02:24

Given that the clocks went back, maybe they've not set their alarms properly? I wouldn't be getting up at 9am (GMT) on a Sunday at that age.

Also how did your husband buy flowers at a supermarket on a Saturday at 11pm when they close at 10pm?

LovingLola Sun 31-Mar-19 10:04:11

+Also how did your husband buy flowers at a supermarket on a Saturday at 11pm when they close at 10pm?*

There are supermarkets that stay open past 10pm...

Shylo Sun 31-Mar-19 10:04:28

Why are you doing their ironing? Honestly leave it .... take yourself out with your DH for breakfast or coffee and then spend the day doing what you want. Don’t be a martyr

It is hurtful, really hurtful, don’t get me wrong and I’d be really upset. Which is why I’d be taking myself off out of the house for a while to do something nice for myself

flowers

bigchris Sun 31-Mar-19 10:04:38

Oh it's just different when they're teens

Let them sleep

Pull out the ones they made at primary school, nursery and have a good wallow and then plan a lovely dinner

And don't take it out on dh

Butterymuffin Sun 31-Mar-19 10:04:53

Off to dotheirironing

Well, pack that in for today of all days.

Happy Mother's Day to all flowers

Pinkprincess1978 Sun 31-Mar-19 10:04:55

My children and younger but I get shouting for them till they got up to bring me my breakfast in bed and my presents 😂

My DH has always made a great effort for Mother's Day but he has started to say that it's not his job as I'm not him mum which is fair enough of course. Although I will remember the same for Father's Day! He did get me a lovely bottle of gin from the kids though

user1487194234 Sun 31-Mar-19 10:05:11

My 3 are still in bed and DH is off to big football match
Having a coffee and chilling with Sunday papers then taking mum out for a posh lunch
I don't really look for anything for me,look on it as my mum's day

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 31-Mar-19 10:06:14

Off to do their ironing

Don't. Don't be a martyr.

MyNewBearTotoro Sun 31-Mar-19 10:06:52

@PolPotNoodle - not all supermarkets shut at 10pm! The large superstores might do but smaller branches are often open much later. The Tesco Express on my road is open until midnight every night of the week, including Saturday & Sunday.

Shylo Sun 31-Mar-19 10:08:13

YANBU I’d be pretty irritated ..... it’s one evening to lay off the booze with his mates

PolPotNoodle Sun 31-Mar-19 10:08:47

I stand corrected! Although none of the little stores in my borough are open past 10 on a Saturday (and none sell flowers).

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 31-Mar-19 10:08:49

he has started to say that it's not his job as I'm not him mum

It's his job until the kids are old enough to do it themselves, then it's his job to guide them until they are old enough to take sole responsibility.

WoollyMummoth Sun 31-Mar-19 10:09:22

Thanks ladies. It soothes me to know I’m not the only one! Me and dh are discussing whether I should challenge them like Msvestibule suggests. He thinks it’s just our lot as ‘parents of thoughtless teens’ I on the other hand have trouble not voicing my opinion when I feel it needs voicing.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Sun 31-Mar-19 10:11:23

When we were young DB and I purloined a pair of scissors and went off and cut a bunch of daffodils from a grass verge, we were rightly told about the dangers of scissors and not to take things that weren't ours, as well as thank you, but my DM still talks about it to this day and we're in our thirties. We knew from a young age it was the thought and gesture from us that counted, DF would take us out shipping and let us choose things and once we hit trends give us some cash but the expectation was on us, which I think is right. With online shopping etc now there is no reason at all your DCs couldn't have sorted out a card and a gift themselves.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Sun 31-Mar-19 10:12:13

@WoollyMummoth why don't you and DH go out for the day, leave them in bed, have a nice lunch out and let them fend for themselves

zen1 Sun 31-Mar-19 10:12:19

DH had to remind my teens yesterday that it was Mother’s Day today. Just opened the card from 13 year old. It was actually a sweet card, but he’d left the price on and had devalued the sentiment writing, ‘sorry for the weird card, but it was the cheapest I could find.’ He literally did go for the cheapest, even though he wasn’t hindered financially.

wishingforapositiveyear Sun 31-Mar-19 10:12:31

My DD doesn't either , or on birthdays she is at quite a self centred stage. I don't mind at the time but when she gives me a long list of unrealistic extortionate presents for hers I tend to bring it up then 😳

Junkmail Sun 31-Mar-19 10:13:24

Completely off topic but I’m aghast at pp’s whose supermarkets close!! Most of the ones around here are open 24/7 aside from the small ones/express/small chains. How do you cope with supermarkets that close at 10pm?? Especially at the weekend?? (I’m a big fan of the supermarket. Sad I know grin)

MulticolourMophead Sun 31-Mar-19 10:14:41

In my town we have 1, just 1 supermarket that's 24/7. The others all close at 10pm.

And most people cope fine with just a bit of planning.

HotpotLawyer Sun 31-Mar-19 10:14:50

“this is the one day when I would appreciate it if you went to a tiny amount of effort by going to the shop yourselves and buying a card and flowers.'”

If you are going to make passive aggressive comments why sit waiting in martyrdom for them to ‘give’ them to you?

It is what it is. When they were little they got excited about things, when they truly grow up they will reflect and appreciate with genuine sincerity.

Let’s Lay off passions aggression, martyrdom and toxic nonsense, congratulate ourselves on getting most of the way through the teen years without anyone appearing on Crimewatch, and scoff any hastily bought petrol-station Dairy Milk that come our way WITHOUT SHARING!

Happy Mother’s Day, however it presents itself.

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