My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Mothers at and ex's

19 replies

Crunchi0 · 31/03/2019 09:35

When your partner has a child from a previous relationship I can totally understand them meeting for a dinner or lunch with the child plus other members of the family for the child's birthday or communion etc. But I do think it's out of line for a guy to meet up with his ex and childcare for lunch on Mother's Day. She is not his mother if anything he should be spending too one with his own mother. What do you guys reckon?

OP posts:
Report
DantesInferno · 31/03/2019 09:37

Sorry, not really sure what you're saying here?

Report
GottenGottenGotten · 31/03/2019 09:39

Your partner is going for lunch today with his ex and their child, I'm guessing?

Report
user1493413286 · 31/03/2019 09:39

I would agree; joint things for birthday are fair enough but I don’t really see why it’s needed for Mother’s Day as that’s for the mother, not the child

Report
Mintypea5 · 31/03/2019 09:40

Inthink in understand. You think it's odd (and perhaps are annoyed) that your partner is taking is ex / the mother of his children out for lunch on Mother's Day with the children?

Report
ZippyBungleandGeorge · 31/03/2019 09:40

So your partner is taking his ex and children out for mother's Day lunch, I don't think this is unreasonable if the children are young enough to be unable to do this themselves ie not adults. She is the mother of his children and add they are separated probably does the lion's share of everything child related, of course he should be thanking her for that

Report
DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/03/2019 09:42

I think you're saying you're upset that your partner is having lunch with his ex and their children on mother's day?

It's hard to say if that's unreasonable or not, as it all depends on the context. Do you two have a good relationship? How long have you been together? How old are the children? Do you have children, with him or with someone else?

Report
GPatz · 31/03/2019 09:43

Sounds that there is a healthy relationship there for the child, which can only be a good thing. It would be a shame if that was spoilt.

Report
Order654 · 31/03/2019 09:46

I wouldn’t put up with it.

It’s not his mum.

Report
Iamclearlyamug · 31/03/2019 09:48

My ex and DD7 took me out for lunch yesterday for Mothers Day. Why the hell not? We have a healthy relationship for the sake of our child. Unless you also have children together who will be missing out, you need to get a grip

Report
DantesInferno · 31/03/2019 10:18

@Order654
I wouldn’t put up with it.
It’s not his mum

No, its his children's mum, and if they were.
too young to take her out, then that's a good thing to do

Report
MulticolourMophead · 31/03/2019 10:21

If the children were too young to take their mum out, I can see why your partner has done this.

It's his job until the kids are old enough to do it themselves, then it's his job to guide them until they are old enough to take sole responsibility.

This was posted on another thread, but it's true whether you're with the mother of your children or not.

Report
Angrybird123 · 31/03/2019 10:28

I think it's great that exs could have such a good relationship and he is able to acknowledge and appreciate her role as mother to HIS child who h is likely much more full on than it would be if that were still together.

Report
Crunchi0 · 31/03/2019 12:54

No not mine, a friend of mine and she's in an awful state about it. Not sure what to say to her for best.

OP posts:
Report
Crunchi0 · 31/03/2019 12:55

It's ny friend that this is going on with their child is 17

OP posts:
Report
FizzyGreenWater · 31/03/2019 13:00

The child is 17?

Then no, it's absolutely unacceptable.

The child is perfectly capable of taking their own mother out for MD, fine for the ex to pay for it but there is no need for him to be there.

Not good for your friend's relationship.

Report
DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/03/2019 14:49

I still think it depends on the context - if it's a family tradition that's gone on for years, they're all happy with it...

I guess the point is your friend feels it's a threat to her relationship with him. Which suggests it's not a good relationship. In which case she needs to look at the bigger picture, not just one lunch.

Report
Reddragonqueen · 31/03/2019 15:00

I think it's a really nice idea

Report
Lichtie · 31/03/2019 15:04

She's the mother of his child, I would have no issue with it. Your friend is clearly insecure in her relationship and maybe needs to evaluate whether she trusts him or not.

Report
SandyY2K · 31/03/2019 16:18

Seems odd as the child is 17. Your friend is the only one who can decide if this is a relationship she wants to remain in.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.