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Mothers at and ex's

(20 Posts)
Crunchi0 Sun 31-Mar-19 09:35:51

When your partner has a child from a previous relationship I can totally understand them meeting for a dinner or lunch with the child plus other members of the family for the child's birthday or communion etc. But I do think it's out of line for a guy to meet up with his ex and childcare for lunch on Mother's Day. She is not his mother if anything he should be spending too one with his own mother. What do you guys reckon?

DantesInferno Sun 31-Mar-19 09:37:08

Sorry, not really sure what you're saying here?

GottenGottenGotten Sun 31-Mar-19 09:39:45

Your partner is going for lunch today with his ex and their child, I'm guessing?

user1493413286 Sun 31-Mar-19 09:39:51

I would agree; joint things for birthday are fair enough but I don’t really see why it’s needed for Mother’s Day as that’s for the mother, not the child

Mintypea5 Sun 31-Mar-19 09:40:26

Inthink in understand. You think it's odd (and perhaps are annoyed) that your partner is taking is ex / the mother of his children out for lunch on Mother's Day with the children?

ZippyBungleandGeorge Sun 31-Mar-19 09:40:32

So your partner is taking his ex and children out for mother's Day lunch, I don't think this is unreasonable if the children are young enough to be unable to do this themselves ie not adults. She is the mother of his children and add they are separated probably does the lion's share of everything child related, of course he should be thanking her for that

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 31-Mar-19 09:42:43

I think you're saying you're upset that your partner is having lunch with his ex and their children on mother's day?

It's hard to say if that's unreasonable or not, as it all depends on the context. Do you two have a good relationship? How long have you been together? How old are the children? Do you have children, with him or with someone else?

GPatz Sun 31-Mar-19 09:43:48

Sounds that there is a healthy relationship there for the child, which can only be a good thing. It would be a shame if that was spoilt.

Order654 Sun 31-Mar-19 09:46:50

I wouldn’t put up with it.

It’s not his mum.

Iamclearlyamug Sun 31-Mar-19 09:48:56

My ex and DD7 took me out for lunch yesterday for Mothers Day. Why the hell not? We have a healthy relationship for the sake of our child. Unless you also have children together who will be missing out, you need to get a grip

DantesInferno Sun 31-Mar-19 10:18:03

I wouldn’t put up with it.
It’s not his mum

No, its his children's mum, and if they were.
too young to take her out, then that's a good thing to do

MulticolourMophead Sun 31-Mar-19 10:21:28

If the children were too young to take their mum out, I can see why your partner has done this.

It's his job until the kids are old enough to do it themselves, then it's his job to guide them until they are old enough to take sole responsibility.

This was posted on another thread, but it's true whether you're with the mother of your children or not.

Angrybird123 Sun 31-Mar-19 10:28:01

I think it's great that exs could have such a good relationship and he is able to acknowledge and appreciate her role as mother to HIS child who h is likely much more full on than it would be if that were still together.

Crunchi0 Sun 31-Mar-19 12:54:22

No not mine, a friend of mine and she's in an awful state about it. Not sure what to say to her for best.

Crunchi0 Sun 31-Mar-19 12:55:48

It's ny friend that this is going on with their child is 17

FizzyGreenWater Sun 31-Mar-19 13:00:32

The child is 17?

Then no, it's absolutely unacceptable.

The child is perfectly capable of taking their own mother out for MD, fine for the ex to pay for it but there is no need for him to be there.

Not good for your friend's relationship.

DisplayPurposesOnly Sun 31-Mar-19 14:49:13

I still think it depends on the context - if it's a family tradition that's gone on for years, they're all happy with it...

I guess the point is your friend feels it's a threat to her relationship with him. Which suggests it's not a good relationship. In which case she needs to look at the bigger picture, not just one lunch.

Reddragonqueen Sun 31-Mar-19 15:00:52

I think it's a really nice idea

Lichtie Sun 31-Mar-19 15:04:04

She's the mother of his child, I would have no issue with it. Your friend is clearly insecure in her relationship and maybe needs to evaluate whether she trusts him or not.

SandyY2K Sun 31-Mar-19 16:18:54

Seems odd as the child is 17. Your friend is the only one who can decide if this is a relationship she wants to remain in.

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