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To be disappointed in DH

(115 Posts)
Whatkatyforgottodo Sun 31-Mar-19 08:29:02

Just had to practically kick my husband out of bed to make me breakfast in bed with DD that he’d promised me for mother’s day. Not the start to the day I’d hoped for. So AIBU to be a bit disappointed?

TomorrowsDiet Sun 31-Mar-19 11:21:11

To all feeling sad and unappreciated, don’t stay in and do chores. They will keep till tomorrow.

DH has taken both of my little ones out! Usually he just takes the toddler. Today is the first time he’s had the baby on his own for more than an hour. Actually MIL is with them. I had to pack the bags and help get them ready, but I’m so happy and peaceful being on my own for the first time in 11 months!! I’ve made myself a sausage sandwich and I’m going to buy a big Sunday paper and read it in peace at the garden centre with CAKE (many pieces of cake).

Happy mother’s day ladies xx

Pa1oma Sun 31-Mar-19 11:22:38

I can’t believe all the naysayers on these threads. So curmudgeonly about everything. Who cares if Mother’’s Day is manufactured or not? Should we never celebrate anything then? What’s the harm in having a nice day?

I had a lovely breakfast in bed - fruit, hot cross buns and coffee. Why not? I make DH and the kids breakfast every other day. I had beautiful flowers; chocolate; a Molton Brown, Oud and set and a set of 4 cocktail glasses. I’m just getting up now and we have lunch booked in A Moroccan restaurant at 3pm. DH normally goes cycling, but not today.

And yes, I do similar for him on Father’s Day. It’s not that hard to make people feel appreciated is it? Plus the kids love it.

ScabbyHorse Sun 31-Mar-19 11:25:25

Happy Mother's Day to everyone. Enjoy your children and have fun with them rather than focusing on what your partner has or hasn't done.

mondaysaturday Sun 31-Mar-19 11:25:28

YANBU. I'm pretty pissed off at DH too. It's my first mother's day and he just handed me a cup of coffee and some pound shop looking "mummy's first mother's day" necklace thing. I'm severely allergic to nickel so I can't even wear it even if I wanted to.

Otherwise nothing, no lunch plans, no card and he booked himself a two hour driving lesson for this morning so that's him just fucked off out.

sakura06 Sun 31-Mar-19 11:27:57

I feel your pain. My kids tried to wake my DH 3 times. No stirring. Hadn't helped them buy anything. Didn't even make me a cup of tea. Argument is 'You're not my mother.' Yes, but I did grow your children and push them out of my vagina, so would it kill you to get up and make me a cup of tea once a year? 😡

missmoz Sun 31-Mar-19 11:29:55

Some right snarky people on this thread.

If someone has given birth to and raised your kids it's really not a big ask to facilitate making their day a little bit special as a thank you...some people are happy with a small gift and card, for other people a cup of tea and a lie in would mean more...wouldn't say anyone here was asking for the "red carpet treatment"

ZigglesAndPaws Sun 31-Mar-19 11:38:04

Thank you 81Byerley!

LagunaBubbles Sun 31-Mar-19 11:44:32

mark father’s day but not the same way, as we have babies and dp didn’t have hg, push them out, spend months recovering while spending all day every day with baby and toddler and all night up every 2 hours at least with the baby

I was just about to say no-one is coming across as needy and entitled on this thread until I read this. So Mums should be spoiled more than Dad's just because of biology? What a crock of crap. Thankfully me and DH are partners in every sense of the word.

As to everyone feeling in appreciated, no it's not too much to expect but that seems indicitive of the relationship in general, not just Mothers Day, so why put up with relationships like this??

MilesJuppIsMyBitch Sun 31-Mar-19 11:49:20

I came on MN this morning specifically to find this (sadly annual) thread, as my DH has been spectacularly shit, and I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

It's the first time he's done nothing, so I've just had that sinking feeling growing, as the penny dropped.

I was diagnosed with cancer last year, and had loads of chemo, so I'm more than usually wobbly.

thanks to the rest of you in the same boat.

I'm booking myself a massage this week.

MsHybridFanGirl Sun 31-Mar-19 11:54:13

NotReady - your post is lovely and is exactly what my family is like - showing your love and appreciation.
My daughter has a volunteer/coaching job on Saturdays and has saved her "wages" to get me things. The planning and thought of it all means more than the actual stuff. Xx

Vulpine Sun 31-Mar-19 12:00:04

And the cynical people who say its just a hallmark day - yes it's commercialised but it's not the cards I care about, it's the words written in those cards by my kids.

Lexilooo Sun 31-Mar-19 12:24:29

The important thing is that you have your babies and they are healthy and happy. Maybe get some perspective, is a card and coffee in bed really that big a deal?

timeisnotaline Sun 31-Mar-19 12:27:05

No Lagunabubbles, not just because of biology. Because biology and my personal experience of pregnancy and babies means it’s much harder for me that first year. When they are older we will even out, but I’m not a natural at home mum and struggle dueimt pregnancy and with babies, I’ve struggled with post birth recovery. I do nights as much as I can because dh works but it’s bloody hard as our baby never slept. When the kids are older I will expect much more low key, but for now yes this is a bit shit for me and he can say thank you. I don’t give a shit if anyone thinks that’s needy and entitled, that’s the opposite of how anyone would describe me in real life.

CostanzaG Sun 31-Mar-19 12:32:57

lexiloo no but having a partner that gives a shit is a big deal... For some of us anyway.

sakura06 Sun 31-Mar-19 13:55:37

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch 💐 for you. And 💐 for all the mums today.

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