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Dd being treated different/unfairly

(10 Posts)
youmakemyheartsing Sat 30-Mar-19 23:08:54

Name changed but regular poster..
evening all,
I feel my dd gets treated differently by her grandad ( step grandad ) on her dads side,for context there are 2 grandchildren our dd (1.5) and his brothers little girl (4) a few examples -
He will pick dn up yet when my dd puts her arms up to him he will say that he can't pick her up because his back hurts, 4 year old clearly weighs more than my 1.5 year old
- the only time ive ever seen him pick her up in her life was at dn party and walked around with her holding her hand ( both her dad and I thought it was for show!!)
- at dd first birthday party he played on the bouncy castle with dn and hardly acknowledged dd at all infact dd was sat on the other side of the castle whilst he played the other side.
- told dd he'll play with her later whilst dn sits on his lap opening bday present dd had ran up to him all excited to see him
- when we went to the park he sat in the cafe and didn't bother to come in the park yet when we all went including dn he was in the park pushing dn on the swings lifting her out of the swing etc- only pushed dd because dd dad said oh dd wants a push!!
- today dd holds her arms out to "grandad " and he said couldnt hold her because it hurt his back it was only last week he was pushing dn high on the swings.
Aibu to think this is really unfair or aibu? Not sure what to do, I don't want dd to pick up that he clearly favours dn.

youmakemyheartsing Sat 30-Mar-19 23:12:07

Should add he doesn't really come and see dd unless they have dn xx

Yesmate Sat 30-Mar-19 23:17:44

He doesn’t sound like someone I would want my child around. He sounds horrible. Don’t go places with him, don’t subject your daughter to it. He is not a nice man.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Sat 30-Mar-19 23:19:20

Does he find babies and toddlers hard? Maybe he finds it easier having a conversation with a child he can understand?

snitzelvoncrumb Sat 30-Mar-19 23:23:56

I would just avoid him, maybe even encourage your daughter to call him by his first name.

BloodsportForAll Sat 30-Mar-19 23:34:25

Teach your dad his first name. Don't refer to him as grandad. Unless he can act like one to dd.

Tunnockswafer Sat 30-Mar-19 23:42:24

Well he isnt her granddad - who did he marry and what relation are they, or is it your child that is a step tohim? Im confused! Dont treat him like a gc if he isnt behaving that way. Or, tell him what you have told us and see what he says.

nutsfornutella Sat 30-Mar-19 23:45:15

Why do you keep on meeting up with a man who treats your dd like this?

7yo7yo Sun 31-Mar-19 00:30:52

Say I’m front of him, come here DD you know (first name) has no time for you.
Make it clear his behaviours noted.
Alternatively stop seeing him.

youmakemyheartsing Sun 31-Mar-19 08:42:34

Thankyou for your replies, I have considered using his first name, he is all very nice and I think he pretends to not know he is doing it, I have pulled him up on it before and I was told he was very hurt that I thought that Of him!
He is married to my dd dads mum xx

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