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To be absolutely fuming at midwife re.breach of confidentiality?!?

(419 Posts)
cheesepleez Sat 30-Mar-19 20:06:42

We haven’t told anyone we are pregnant. Made a massive effort to keep it hidden until the 20 week scan which hasn’t happened yet. Found out our neighbour who we don’t get on with and who is also pregnant apparently knows we are expecting. As we haven’t told anyone, and I’m not even showing, I can only assume the community midwife has mentioned to this lady “your neighbour is pregnant too”.
To me this is a massive breach of confidentiality and we haven’t even told friends and family yet. It’s my flipping medical info. Am I BU?? Or should I be able to expect my midwife not to discuss other patients??

formerbabe Sat 30-Mar-19 20:08:16

Do you look pregnant? Maybe she's noticed a bump?

HoHoHolittlepea Sat 30-Mar-19 20:09:11

Perhaps ask her how she knows first? coukd just be she's overheard you talking or heard morning sickness? Obviously if she knows through the midwife that's not great.

ConstanzaAndSalieri Sat 30-Mar-19 20:09:27

I’d check your facts, but if it is as you think, then yes. But some people sense pregnancy and she may have seen you eg leaving the midwife office, gps, ultrasound, etc...

Atalune Sat 30-Mar-19 20:09:36

I think you’re making a massive leap there.

Don’t assume, find out how she knows and go from there.

GreatDuckCookery Sat 30-Mar-19 20:09:51

What’s the neighbour said to you? Find out how she knows before you jump the gun.

cheesepleez Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:02

I’m not showing and I don’t even have anything to do with the neighbours. They aren’t directly next door even, they’re a bit down the road but technically they are neighbours.

JITSOG Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:11

You have assumed your midwife has done this.

Without evidence, I’d say YABU.

IncrediblySadToo Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:22

Maybe she just saw the midwife visiting you?

ludothedog Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:28

But you don't know if it was the midwife.... you can't make accusations without knowing

PotteringAlong Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:30

Does your midwife do home visits? Our booking in appointments are at home in our area - it’s how my neighbours found out because they’re friends with the midwife and recognised her car!

cheesepleez Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:54

We don’t even talk to them! So there’s no way she’s overheard anything, they aren’t next door neighbours but they are the next house along the road iyswim.

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 30-Mar-19 20:10:55

She could really easily have seen you at an apt..

MrsJamin Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:05

You're jumping to conclusions. If you're 20 weeks I'm surprised if people can't tell. Also, you're pregnant, not your husband/partner, it really grates when couples make out that the man has some shared biological involvement in the pregnancy/childbirth!

PotteringAlong Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:09

Also, you don’t know it was the midwife.

CinnabarRed Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:10

Totally unreasonable without evidence.

Waveysnail Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:30

Well your making assumptions for a start and jumping to conclusions. Theres many ways u could ha e been sussed - looking pregnant, being seen at mw clinic. I realised my neighbour was pregnant when I saw her sneaking her notes into the car ( she was trying to hide them under her coat) and I was look g out the window

AuntieMaggie Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:36

Maybe she saw you visiting the midwife? At your 12 week scan? Carrying your maternity notes? There are loads of ways someone could find out you're pregnant without your midwife having told!

cheesepleez Sat 30-Mar-19 20:11:58

I can’t stress this enough, we haven’t told ANYONE. Literally it’s only the midwife who knows.

Thingsdogetbetter Sat 30-Mar-19 20:12:39

Much more likely ndn saw you going at an appointment or the midwife visiting you! Highly unlike midwife would risk her job with a comment like that.

KitKat1985 Sat 30-Mar-19 20:12:46

Hmm, are you sure the midwife told her? Could she have seen you leave an appointment or similar. I bumped into someone I know when I went for one of my antenatal scans at the antenatal clinic so obviously worked out they pregnant, so these things do happen.

HoneysuckIejasmine Sat 30-Mar-19 20:13:14

How do you know the neighbour knows if you don't talk to them?

It's a big leap to assume it was the midwife.

SleepyLions Sat 30-Mar-19 20:13:54

How do you know that the neighbour knows?

Also, the neighbour could have seen the midwife going to your house (that's how I knew my neighbour down the road was pregnant)

Eslteacher06 Sat 30-Mar-19 20:14:05

But how do you know the midwife told her?

AuchAyeTheNo Sat 30-Mar-19 20:14:21

So how do you know that the neighbours knows your pregnant?

Perhaps she saw you at the clinic or maybe the hospital? Maybe she saw your name on the midwifes screen while she was there? When I was at clinic I would often see other names on the screen but nothing else regarding them.

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