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Belittled in front of husbands work colleagues

(53 Posts)
tryingtobereal Sat 30-Mar-19 19:22:25

To be feeling really small.

I work in retail, not my dream job and I’m studying so I can one day find something more along the lines to what my husband does (very skilled office job). But it means I can contribute towards bills and have enough time to spend some quality time with the husband/family. And I actually enjoy selling and helping people.

I was at a dinner party last night, and the host who is a friend we made recently interrupted a conversation I was having with one of my husbands work colleagues to say “ I’m so impressed with you...., you’re not one of those wives who sit on their fat arses, and you work in a shop instead. It’s so impressive you do that, when you could just be at home”. I didn’t think much of it, but if just seemed inappropriate since I was trying to have a serious conversation with this other lady. It also was said in a very patronizing tone and incorrect since I could not do the above even if I wanted to.

Later on in the evening we had to leave somewhat early because I work on Saturdays, we were saying our goodbyes and in a loud tone she said in front of everyone “.....has to leave because his wife works in a shop, and they start really early. Don’t you have to wake up in the early hours? I feel so sorry for you but I think it’s so impressive ....that you do this”.

I guess in word format it sounds silly. I felt so belittled, because it’s already awkward enough for me in these situations when I can’t join in the conversations as I’m not networked in their circles. But it was done in a loud patronizing manner in front of guests and my husbands colleagues. She herself has a top job in the city and everyone in the room is very much on the same line. She does not work with my husband though.

Am I being crazy to feel this way? I can’t shrug the feeling off.

KC225 Sun 31-Mar-19 20:47:42

At university and briefly dating a guy who invited me to a posh works dinner. I was also working on a make up counter part time. A girl opposite sniggered and said 'well I suppose some has to' Loud enough for everyone to hear. Then the bosses wife a booming Margaret Thatcher type, said 'You work on a make up counter is that right?' I was cringing, then she said 'Fantastic, finally someone to teach me how to do a smokey eye, I desperate to learn'. She made a big fuss of me and I have never forgotten how she swooped down and saved me from humiliation.

It does sound like the woman was making a passive aggressive dig. Some people can't cope with the attention elsewhere.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Sun 31-Mar-19 20:55:11

OP you should have said "yes I do work in a shop but unfortunately you wont be able to shop there as they dont serve Cunts"

MrHaroldFry Sun 31-Mar-19 21:00:31

She is an utter arse.
I always remember what Michele Obama said when this sort of nonsense happens to me "When they go low, we go high"
Your sweet revenge will be when you qualify and have a sh1t hot job!

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