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To be so upset about work

(59 Posts)
Mums1234 Sat 30-Mar-19 15:29:23

I work on a separate floor in work and other staff four people are downstairs. This week two incidents have really upset me:

1. I was locked in and staff went home. I was forgotten about
2. A colleague was leaving and originally a table in a restaurant was booked (in work time) but she cancelled and instead a chinese was ordered. My food was brought up to me and everyone else ate downstairs. I was shocked and upset so I walked out of work and sat in the park. Really kind strangers stopped to ask if i was ok.

These aren't isolated incidents by the way

Claphands Sat 30-Mar-19 15:31:41

Regarding being locked in I would flag this up as a H&M’s issue-what if there had been a fire or you were lying injured for example?

The food incident, why didn’t you go down and just eat with them?

loveyoutothemoon Sat 30-Mar-19 15:32:32

Why didn't you join them downstairs?

talkingjapeneseireallythinkso Sat 30-Mar-19 15:33:52

that's awful, is this a recent thing being ignored ? maybe they thought you'd come and join them for food but when you didn't they bring it up for you. the locked in is a bit lapse though, perhaps people thought you'd already left.

wigglypiggly Sat 30-Mar-19 15:34:47

Do you work on your own upstairs, do you feel happy mixing with your colleagues, did anyone or yourself suggest you join them downstairs for the meal. It sounds a strange place to work, what sort of business is it. I'd hope no one would lock you in on purpose, is there someone who has responsibility each day.

Mums1234 Sat 30-Mar-19 15:34:55

I have been off sick before due to ostracism.

Being forgotten about/ostracised on a daily basis has really affected me.

I wasn't even invited to the christmas party

Mums1234 Sat 30-Mar-19 15:36:11

Everyone leaves work together, and I have to walk past everyone to leave

Jellyonawonkyplate Sat 30-Mar-19 15:37:52

Why didn't you take your food and go and sit with them?

Peghi Sat 30-Mar-19 15:40:44

Why are you in an office alone?

wigglypiggly Sat 30-Mar-19 15:40:51

You dont sound very happy, is it better to look for something else where you feel more settled, are there plenty of similiar jobs about.

talkingjapeneseireallythinkso Sat 30-Mar-19 15:45:37

i'd def. be looking for another job as well. is there an age difference ? why do you think this might be happening ?

ShawshanksRedemption Sat 30-Mar-19 15:47:21

Incident 1: That needs looking into as someone should do a sweep of the building before lock up to make sure it is secure.

2. I too would ask why you didn't ask to sit with them downstairs. Being friendly works both ways so before I criticise your colleagues I'd want to know if you have made efforts in the past to be friendly.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Sat 30-Mar-19 15:48:25

Being forgotten about is weird. But couldn’t you have taken your food downstairs? Do they think you are working and that’s why you haven’t gone down? Do you go down and chat to them? Get to know them? Make coffee etc?

ConfCall Sat 30-Mar-19 15:48:57

Why do you work alone? Are you dealing with sensitive info ?

ilovesooty Sat 30-Mar-19 15:52:12

Being locked is a health and safety issue and needs to be flagged up.

If you have been off sick due to being ostracised how was this dealt with at your return to work interview?

Why didn't you take your food downstairs to join them?

Acis Sat 30-Mar-19 15:55:10

Meh. I got locked in by accident the other day. I thought it was quite funny.

Acis Sat 30-Mar-19 15:56:02

Have you talked to anyone about moving your workplace so you're with everyone else?

ilovesooty Sat 30-Mar-19 15:57:33

There is no way being locked in is "funny".

Tomtontom Sat 30-Mar-19 16:03:16

I got locked in at work once. It was hilarious trying to find someone with keys to come and let me out.

Got locked in by my parents a few times too when they'd thought I was out. I must be invisible!

OP why do you sit separately and have you asked to move? Also re the food, why not just walk downstairs?

AloneLonelyLoner Sat 30-Mar-19 16:04:39

What was your reason for not going down to eat with them? Maybe they feel that you are standoffish (no offence intended). If you're not approachable it is hard for people. If you feel that you've been ostracised on a frequent basis, have you had proper discussions with HR about this?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff Sat 30-Mar-19 16:08:29

That sounds awful for you Mums. You must have been so sad sitting in the park.
Is there someone you can talk to about this in real life.
Who could you discuss the being locked in, with? It deserves a memo to put it on the record. Perhaps that's an opportunity to talk about this ostracism at the same time and point out that forgetting all about you like this, not inviting you to the party etc.. has led to the lock in which is H and S.
Have they deliberately excluded you or do they just think you want to be private?
Do you think that they are likely to change?
I would list it all, and look at it to see if it really was deliberate.
Brush up your CV and look for something else, and if you do think its deliberate maybe take some legal advice.
But I think you need to try to change the rules first.

BottleOfJameson Sat 30-Mar-19 16:10:46

It's weird of them to bring OP'S food up, why wouldn't they just let her know it was here so she could join them.

I would look for a different job.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Sat 30-Mar-19 16:13:02

flowers because you sound very sad about this.

cannycat20 Sat 30-Mar-19 16:13:18

When I was a temp in my twenties there were some companies where "colleagues" treated me like this. Needless to say they were the companies where, even when permanent job offers were made, I didn't want to stay. I'd seriously think about looking for somewhere a bit nicer. I know the NHS gets a lot of criticism, and some departments are horrid, but many hospitals still have very nice people working there. You'd be surprised how many different types of jobs there are, as well - everything from customer service to libraries (I'm a bit biased, as a librarian, but most of the libraries are nice places to work, most of the time). Seriously. Your colleagues sound awful. (Here of course is where you respond and say you work for the NHS - in which case, having worked for four different NHS organisations, I can say every one was different.)

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 30-Mar-19 16:14:48

Do you know why you are ostracised? flowers

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