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Should I give mil flowers just to piss her off?

(110 Posts)
Caliplums Sat 30-Mar-19 12:57:44

Hear me out before you flame me.
Every year on mother's day I always give Exmil flowers and a card from dcs, I also do the same for my own dm, however this year mil has been a bitch has barely spoken to dcs or myself and went off her rocker last week because I refused to allow her son to verbally abuse me anymore.

So as tomorrow is mothers day I plan on giving her some flowers.

1) because she won't be expecting them as I know she'll be going around slagging me off to everyone who has ears.
2) because I feel like being a petty bitch myself.

So aibu? grin

Caliplums Sat 30-Mar-19 13:01:26

Just to add I know I won't be getting anything from either her or exdp from my dcs, so it will piss them off a little bit more.

AwdBovril Sat 30-Mar-19 13:01:39

Seems like a strange way of treating someone who has been horrible to, and about you. But I suppose if you rise above, be the bigger person, etc, there's the possibility she'll stop mouthing off about you.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sat 30-Mar-19 13:01:46

I'd actually take a step back and disassociate myself from all the drama and nonsense.

But then, I wouldn't send anyone who wasn't my mother a gift on mothers day - the clue is in the name, surely.

BlueMerchant Sat 30-Mar-19 13:02:20

YANBU
Have you thought about a 'one in a million' emblazoned mug or something though. Might be ' nicer' grin

Thesuzle Sat 30-Mar-19 13:04:26

Hang on ? You give your ex mother in law a Mother’s Day card from your children !!!! No no no all shades of wrong

Amongstthetallgrass Sat 30-Mar-19 13:04:38

Yeah this won’t work.

She probably still expects them tbh!

pictish Sat 30-Mar-19 13:07:24

I wouldn’t bother.

OhioOhioOhio Sat 30-Mar-19 13:11:15

Why not buy yourself something instead? Why won't your kids give you something?

BlackCatSleeping Sat 30-Mar-19 13:12:01

Um, I think is all bonkers. It's Mother's Day, not Grandmother's Day. She'll probably just dump them in the bin and think no more about it. Don't waste your time or money on her.

jelliebelly Sat 30-Mar-19 13:13:55

Sorry but I can't get past the idea of gifts and cards for grandparents on Mother's Day let alone ex grandparents!

TheBigFatMermaid Sat 30-Mar-19 13:14:37

How old are your DC? Old enough to be allowed shopping on their own? Or maybe into a shop alone while you wait outside?

OR maybe a friend could take them for you.

Give them the money to go and buy something for you. They will be delighted!

BeanoBrown Sat 30-Mar-19 13:15:06

Why be bothered with the drama? Rise above it and move on I say.

TSSDNCOP Sat 30-Mar-19 13:17:26

Well said Beano. Occupy your thoughts and time with more pleasant matters.

WeCameToDance Sat 30-Mar-19 13:17:34

Weirdly my lovely mum and grandmother (her mum) are not speaking at the minute because she is awful and this is her strategy as well.
Must admit I was very confused at the notion of giving flowers to somebody who is horrible to you. I would rather have the flowers myself! But I can see the logic.

redwoodmazza Sat 30-Mar-19 13:18:09

I feel where you are coming from!!!! Go for it!!!!

Tee hee....

EmeraldShamrock Sat 30-Mar-19 13:18:39

Don't bother wasting your time energy or money. It is a nice idea for granny if she was a kind granny.
Let her think you are past caring for any of them.
Treat her as she treats you. flowers

LannieDuck Sat 30-Mar-19 13:19:59

Why doesn't your ex-DH organise cards/ flowers 'from the children' for his mother?

If he can't be bothered, that's up to him.

This is wifework. I refuse to do wifework within my marriage. There's no way I'd be doing it after divorce!

Caliplums Sat 30-Mar-19 13:21:06

As I said I've always given her flowers, as I do my dm and my grandmother's.
They have always been a supportive of me been there when I was down and lifted me back up, a bunch of flowers is nothing in comparison.

As for Exmil, nope she would have them on display bold as fucking brass. Yes I know I should be the bigger person and walk away but sometimes being the bigger person has it's downfalls.

LannieDuck Sat 30-Mar-19 13:21:39

And why did mother's day become about grandmothers? If anyone should be giving MIL flowers and a card, it's her son. From HIM, not from his kids.

DisplayPurposesOnly Sat 30-Mar-19 13:22:05

No flaming, but just don't do that.

As PP said, step away from the drama. Don't send her stuff for mother's day - she's your exMIL and that's your ex's job.

Buy yourself flowers 💐

YogaWannabe Sat 30-Mar-19 13:23:47

Seems arse licky to me, I wouldn’t.

Paddington68 Sat 30-Mar-19 13:25:39

A balloon is not too much.

Squigglesworth Sat 30-Mar-19 13:28:02

You should do whatever you want, but personally, I wouldn't spend money on her. I'd treat myself to a little something nice instead! She doesn't deserve flowers, the way she's been acting, and I'm not convinced she'd understand that they were meant to annoy her.

callmeadoctor Sat 30-Mar-19 13:29:18

Erhmmmmmm, because she is not their mum and it is MOTHERS DAY!

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