Put this on what would you do but reposting here for traffic.
Ok I’m serious need of advice.
DH and I split 3 years ago...it’s been horrible at times, ok at others and downright nasty at other times.
We have arrangements through lawyers of him seeing the children and through his own arrangements he sees the children for 47.5 hours over a 2 week period. His choice and I have never said he can’t see them - In fact I asked for more time with him and he refused.
Few months ago I got a text from exSIL saying “as you know I’m getting married etc” I had no idea and the date she’s getting married on we already have a family communion (my brothers DD) have already bought both DS1 and DS2 suits, children’s entertainment organised, meals preordered etc. She has also already asked DS1 to be a Page boy, again no communication to me. Said I wasn’t happy about it as I’m sure exh has known this date for a long time, it isn’t his weekend and he should have told me long before now however I know a wedding trumps a communion so they’ll be going to that.
Now the plans they want is to pick the children up the morning of the wedding...and make arrangements to get them back to me after the first dance...well after 8pm. DS1 is 6 and DS2 is 3. This is all through exSIL btw I have told her I will only make arrangements with their father as he is responsible for them and she wasn’t happy with that.
AIBU in thinking that if you want the children at your sisters wedding then it’s only right that you are responsible for them the full day and night and not ship them back to me when they’re tired/ grumpy so you can go back and get pissed with the nighttime guests? No other children are getting sent away after the first dance only mine.
What would you do?
My choices are...
- Go with what they want and get 2 no doubt sleeping boys home and cut my own arrangements/ plans short (that’s if they’re even willing to drop them off I don’t know yet, they might be expecting me to pick them up, 30 minute drive away
Or
- Insist that if they’re going they go for the full day and night and if they’re not willing to do that then say they don’t go and they come to me to the communion as planned with a magician, bouncy castle, meal and family party after.
If it matters the “after party “ for the communion is 2 streets away where I will walk home when the boys are ready for their bed. I won’t be drinking on the day as I’m responsible for my children.