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Vaginas and porn

(30 Posts)
hothotsoup Fri 29-Mar-19 21:33:01

I'll kick start this by saying I know porn is unrealistic etc etc, but I've just had a terrible shock that my vagina is worse than I thought post kids.

Ok, so I have had 2 kids very close together and I think have some sort of prolapse issue going on down there - but that's another story.
The hole is (not really quite sure how to put this) quite large gaping. I have had 2 sets of stitches and one episiotomy, so have had a good look down there whilst that was all healing and feel more familiar with my vagina than I ever have before blush

Anyway, I came across may have been watching some porn earlier, and most of the vaginas on there are literally like a pin hole! I know this is a terrible way to describe other people's genitals, but I am in genuine shock!
I'm guessing they've not had kids blah blah, but I am really shocked at how much difference there is in my vagina and these porno vaginas.

I don't even know what my AIBU is.. I may have had too many wine
AIBU to ask you to call me the walking bucket?

hothotsoup Fri 29-Mar-19 21:35:19

Should probably have name changed also. Oh well if you know me in real life, please do reference a bucket

morewashingtodooo Fri 29-Mar-19 21:36:47

Your watching the wrong porn grin I've seen a crazy mix and to be honest it's only women who care about their own and cunty men.
I thought mine hangs to much and they aren't the nicest looking body part. But guys don't care, they just want it and yes I'm generalising, but it's the same with women we don't really want 12 inches!

LaurieFairyCake Fri 29-Mar-19 21:37:17

All I can say is porn isn't real life

In the same way dh isn't Clooney and I'm not Kate Winslet

With the greatest respect, stop looking at your cunt

PhilomenaButterfly Fri 29-Mar-19 21:38:08

Mine looked like it had done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson after DC4. And he gave me a friction burn.

WhyTheLongFace Fri 29-Mar-19 21:39:43

Hi bucket.
I recently had a hysterectomy. I have no cervix and it’s a bit of a bucket due to age and big babies. I drunkenly asked the H if it felt different. He said ‘no, should it?’
I think my point is that even with a bit of stretching and bits missing it’s still a vagina and if it works it really doesn’t matter.

SlimGin Fri 29-Mar-19 21:43:41

I watched 'mums make porn' last night and one of the mums highlighted the contradiction in porn that 'men want a woman with a tight vagina but can take 3 dicks at once'. I wouldn't compare with vaginas in porn, it's soooo unrealistic. Also if you're still healing give it time!

LightDrizzle Fri 29-Mar-19 21:47:04

He’s not going to be down there with a head torch.
However if you think you might have a prolapse or you are just uneasy, you really should go to your GP and request a referral to either a gynaecologist or an obstetric physio, - whichever is most appropriate.
Post-natal care for the many issues that can arise after childbirth is woeful in this country. Women shouldn’t stay silent about it.
After my second I bought some weighted Kegels online and they were great. There may be things that could help you regain tone and you shouldn’t assume you’ve got to lump this.
I don’t think most are lookers, if it’s any consolation!

hothotsoup Fri 29-Mar-19 21:50:11

You're all completely right, of course.

You watch the massive penises on there and come to think it's a normal size, yet if I saw that in real life I'd be like no thanks mate that's gonna be painful.

Whoops75 Fri 29-Mar-19 21:51:11

Mine looks like it has Bell’s palsy
Never won a Bonnie fanny competition
No complaints from the men folk who frequented.
I’m happy with my lot
How do I attach a photo grin

hothotsoup Fri 29-Mar-19 21:53:45

@LightDrizzle - yes I am hoping to get through to the doctors next week. Tried today before I had to go out, but couldn't get through hmm
It's definitely concerning down there now, most walking is uncomfortable and feels like something is poking out confusedblush

hothotsoup Fri 29-Mar-19 21:55:19

@Whoops75 love that description! Let's compare grin

Beeziekn33ze Fri 29-Mar-19 21:57:53

Did anyone else see the tv programme with close ups of 100 vulvas? It was oddly reassuring, they were so varied I realised that mine is perfectly ok after all.

TwoShades1 Fri 29-Mar-19 22:00:20

I think you need to watch a wider variety of porn! I see lots of very different looking vaginas in porn and it’s one of the things that actually made me comfortable with my vagina! That said if you think you have a medical issue like a prolapse you should see someone about that. But honestly the vaginas I’ve seen have been very varied in both appearance, hair, colour, etc.

IntoValhalla Fri 29-Mar-19 22:02:24

Seriously, some of the porn I’ve seen, makes giving birth to my eldest’s bowling ball head look like a walk in the park shock
They look neat and tidy because the amount of female porn actresses who have labiaplasty to “tidy up the driveway” as it were is astounding! But they can still accommodate absolutely humongous penises/multiple penises/monstrous sex toys with seemingly no bother - which honestly made me think that pushing out a baby’s giant head probably does less damage in the long run confused

FermatsTheorem Fri 29-Mar-19 22:09:46

Rest easy, OP, they come in all shapes and sizes in the real world:
www.huffpost.com/entry/the-great-wall-of-vagina_n_4556309

And porn, for the most part, is a pile of woman-hating shite, so it's hardly surprising it's going to make you feel bad about yourself. I'd recommend real life sex, or written erotica.

AdoraBell Fri 29-Mar-19 22:09:56

Other than medically, possible prolapse that you mentioned, there is nothing wrong with your vagina. Porn isn’t even realistic, let alone real.

MsTiggywinkletoyou Fri 29-Mar-19 22:28:54

Vulvas and vaginas come in all shapes and sizes and colours, but your inside bits should stay inside. Prolapse is not fun, and needs to be dealt with, or prevented. In France, "perineal re-education" is standard after childbirth.
parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/12/the-re-education-of-my-perineum/

SummerHouse Fri 29-Mar-19 22:32:00

After birth mine literally had something hanging out of it. Poor, poor 111 woman I spoke to for advice......

morewashingtodooo Fri 29-Mar-19 22:41:25

The best thing is not to look
I remember the episode of sex in the city that said get a mirror and get to know your fanny.
I scared myself shitless wink

SecretToffeeHammer Fri 29-Mar-19 22:55:41

I think we all feel that we’re a bit wrong in the pants department if we watch porn. I think that the 100 vulvas art project may help you - the guardian cover it here - to see that there are allsorts and not just the surgically enhanced, hairless versions seen in porn.

Much as with the rest of our bodies I think we need to focus on function rather than form. It doesn’t matter what we look like - outwardly or internally - it matters that our bodies function as they should. That we can lift weights, run, experience sexual pleasure, birth children etc.

Sparklesocks Fri 29-Mar-19 23:01:12

Vaginas in porn are very much the minority, a lot of the women have had surgery/laser hair removal to achieve a certain ‘look’. Not to mention certain lighting and what not. It is in no way representative.

If you want to put your mind at ease maybe check out the Labia library, much more of a mixed bag smile

www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/

abbey44 Fri 29-Mar-19 23:22:01

Multiple penises at once? How?? I mean, where does everyone's limbs go...? confused

<misses point> <also, clearly, very sheltered life>

SheWoreBlueVelvet Fri 29-Mar-19 23:24:39

And it matters how.?

You like people for other reasons than looks, Same applies to blokes. Porn is cheesy, Sime men like authentic. Actually a lot of men.

When your boyfriend looks like a porn star or clean shaven and 10 inches plus ...then worry...butr really do you want that nonsense?

FermatsTheorem Fri 29-Mar-19 23:47:58

Thinking back, I still remember my feelings of complete puzzlement the first time I heard of the existence of labiaplasty. I immediately thought "but if ever there was a part of the body where 'form follows function' it's got to be the genitals. The whole fucking point (pun intended) is what it feels like, not what it looks like". My second thought was "in any case how would you know what yours looked like (I'm not double jointed) or (presuming you were a straight woman - and I'm damn sure my lesbian friends aren't wondering whether to have labiaplasty) have any sort of yardstick for comparison."

Then the penny dropped. Porn. (This was back in the early 90s pre internet when it wasn't ubiquitous). And it made me so sad to think that there were women out there whose self image had been so damaged that they were prepared to surgically mutilate their genitals, possibly putting their sexual function at risk, to look appealing to men.

It made me sad then when it was a bit of a niche thing. It makes me furious now that it's going mainstream.

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