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Helping your married dd

(407 Posts)
MrsCasares Fri 29-Mar-19 19:24:33

Just canvassing opinions as don’t want to be an interfering mum.

Dd and her dh both work full time. Dd gets into work about 7.30am and doesn’t finish until after 7pm. Same goes for her dh.

They have no kids yet.

Aibu to offer to come in on a Friday and clean their house (for free) so they have the weekend to relax.

I am retired so have plenty of me time.

bitchfromhell Fri 29-Mar-19 19:26:06

God yes offer! If she declines I'll send you my address grin

Stinkytoe Fri 29-Mar-19 19:26:46

What a lovely Mum! I’d be over the moon if someone offered me this.

SoHotADragonRetired Fri 29-Mar-19 19:27:22

I... Would be careful about that one. It's a kind thought but I wouldn't want my mother up in my business cleaning my house and if she offered it would feel like an implied judgement. A lot obviously depends on the relationship with her but most married adults want and need some degree of separation from their parents, and having your mother offer to clean your house is quite... A lot.

If they both work those hours, hopefully they have good salaries and could afford a cleaner if they wanted?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Fri 29-Mar-19 19:27:29

Quite normal in my social circle.

Crazyhairymary Fri 29-Mar-19 19:28:02

That’s fine. She will snap tour hands off!

Are you hoping the relaxing may speed up the grandchild grin

LaurieMarlow Fri 29-Mar-19 19:28:42

Wow what a lovely gesture

RedPanda2 Fri 29-Mar-19 19:29:58

My MIL used to do this and i hated it. It's a nice thought but also a massive invasion

Ragwort Fri 29-Mar-19 19:30:08

No I wouldn’t, obviously it depends on your relationship with your DD &, more importantly, your DSIL. It sounds a bit patronising to me & wanting to be over involved in your DD’s life.

Surely now you are retired it is the time to start doing things for yourself, finding new hobbies & interests, not doing other people’s cleaning hmm. I am probably around your age, not retired yet sadly, but no way would I be spending my time cleaning for my adult DS.

Misty999 Fri 29-Mar-19 19:30:09

Yes of course I would love that.

HeathRobinson Fri 29-Mar-19 19:30:22

I would have said no. Nice thought, but too intrusive for me.

JustHereForThePooStories Fri 29-Mar-19 19:30:37

If I was your daughter, I’d love this. If I was your son-in-law, I’d hate this.

RedSkyLastNight Fri 29-Mar-19 19:30:54

Depends on your relationship. I wouldn't be happy with my mother doing this.

PurpleDaisies Fri 29-Mar-19 19:31:49

I’d hate my mum/mil cleaning my house but it’s a lovely thought. Could you pay for a cleaner instead?

Alsohuman Fri 29-Mar-19 19:31:51

Another one in the queue to snap your hand off if she says no. What a kind offer.

boredboredboredboredbored Fri 29-Mar-19 19:31:57

Hell yes I'd bite your hand off!

AJPTaylor Fri 29-Mar-19 19:32:10

Ask her. Say you'd like to go a quick go round the kitchen and vaccum/dust the lounge but understand if they don't want it.

MrsCasares Fri 29-Mar-19 19:32:24

They have talked about getting a cleaner. Just thought I would save them some money (and I also love cleaning). Sad, I know.

Theworldisfullofgs Fri 29-Mar-19 19:32:37

Please would you adopt me? Both me and DH are parent less - adult orphans. We have kids and pets though...

Definitely offer....just dont go through their stuff. I'm sure you wouldn't.

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 29-Mar-19 19:32:45

It that situation i would have said yes, but perhaps on a Thursday night and asked you to stay for tea.

Whatever you suggest just be clear with what's she's comfortable for you to do, for example, she may not want you to change her sheets or wash her underwear.

JazzyBBG Fri 29-Mar-19 19:32:49

The one time my mum did this for me I was so grateful and so relaxed I got pregnant that weekend 😂

SparklyLeprechaun Fri 29-Mar-19 19:33:02

Sorry, but I would hate that. Really interfering. Firstly, I would take it as a criticism of our home cleanliness, secondly I'm an adult and can manage my own home.

cestlavielife Fri 29-Mar-19 19:33:11

Why would you when you could be doing something fun for you?
Tell your ddto pay a cleaner

purpleme12 Fri 29-Mar-19 19:33:12

Well if it was me I'd take it as a criticism that my house was messy. But don't know if that's just to me or my mum or what...

CupoTeap Fri 29-Mar-19 19:33:33

Ah I would love it but don't push it or get offended if they say no

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