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Hand hold - I had to give my baby CPR

(137 Posts)
BatmansBoxers Fri 29-Mar-19 06:27:06

My little girl. She had bronchiolitis and was discharged from hospital but the next day I thought she looked sleepy and wasn't feeding well. I thought maybe theyd keep her and give her the NG tube back, but I sat in the back of the car with her while my mum drove is back in because I didn't think she looked right and she seemed to be shallow breathing.

She turned yellow, her eyes rolled and then stayed open, she made a horrible gasp and then just...stopped. She just stared completely unresponsive.

We were on a motorway and had to pull over and I called 999 and I had to resuscitate her but she still wouldn't breathe and I keep worrying I did it wrong because her chest didn't rise. She kept gasping but only a couple of times a minute, and I keep seeing her just staring at me glassy eyed.

Paramedics took over when they got here and they got her back but it was so so so horrible. There were loads of consultants there when we arrived and they managed to sort her out but told me had we been minutes later she would've died.

She's currently in hospital on CPAP, the diagnosis is a new infection that's turned into pneumonia and it collapsed her airways but I feel so upset by what's happened I don't know why I'm writing this just need someone to listen and tell me she'll be okay I guess

gamerchick Fri 29-Mar-19 06:31:35

You poor thing, that would have been an awful fright flowers

Your baby is in the right place, you must look after you as well though. A shock like that needs tending to. Is your mum still with you?

ResistanceIsNecessary Fri 29-Mar-19 06:31:39

Hand hold - that sounds absolutely terrifying.

But she's in the right place now being looked after. Plus you responded brilliantly - you saved her and kept her heart going until the paramedics got there.

It's normal to feel like you want to fall apart now. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. I hope your wee girl gets better soon flowers

kalooKalayNoWorkToday Fri 29-Mar-19 06:31:54

Goodness you will be in deep shock, you poor poor thing. What an awful thing to happen to your daughter, I'm so very very sorry. You will probably feel tearful for a while and keep going over it in your mind while you try to process it, it's unpleasant but normal. Keep talking to people about it and if you struggle to come out of it later down the line then consider some counselling. Things like this sometimes need extra help to move on from.

Thinking of you, it's amazing that you seem to have saved her life. What an amazing mother thanks

wonderingsoul Fri 29-Mar-19 06:34:22

My sweet you saved your babies life, I cant imagine what your feeling right now, but your prob in shock as well and will need to talk to some one.

She'll be ok, she's getting medical care by skilled doctors.

I dont k ow what to say or if any if that helps but you saved her, she's a lucky she has you as a mum. flowers

MrsMozartMkII Fri 29-Mar-19 06:34:34

Oh lass. How incredibly scary. You and your mum did so well. Strong and gentle handhold from me.

RochelleGoyle Fri 29-Mar-19 06:34:35

Oh lovely, that must have been horribly traumatic. You did something wonderful though, you kept her going until the professionals arrived - that's all you needed to do and you did it! I know as a parent it's hard not to beat yourself up with all the what if's but there is honestly nothing that can be gained or changed by that. You've had a horrible shock and it will understandably take some time to process, so please try to be kind to yoyrself, for your daughter's sake if not your own. brew

BatmansBoxers Fri 29-Mar-19 06:34:41

I'm at home at the moment, I stayed in every night when she had bronchiolitis but the staff said to me she was stable and to go and get some rest, and I feel better for having sleep but feel very guilty for leaving her.

They're doing tests for cystic fibrosis as she has had at least three chest infections now at 5.5 months old. sad

Decormad38 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:34:48

You will be suffering post traumatic stress so you need counselling. You must tell someone you need this. You will carry on replaying the image in your head unless you seek help.

TeddyIsaHe Fri 29-Mar-19 06:36:10

Oh god how terrifying. Well done for saving your baby’s life though. Take care of yourself now, you’ll be in shock no doubt.

Glad she’s in the right place and hoping she recovers quickly flowers

newmun Fri 29-Mar-19 06:37:48

Omg you poor thing. flowerscakebrew xxxx

idontknowwhattosay Fri 29-Mar-19 06:41:03

You amazing woman. You saved your daughters life. You did what waa needed until emergency services took over. I hope she's home soon

seastargirl Fri 29-Mar-19 06:41:14

That must have been awful, whatever you did have the paramedics enough to work with to bring her back.

You should see if there someone you can talk to at the hospital for a bit of a debrief, it's also worth contacting Red cross or she johns ambulance, they have a counseling service for first aiders and may be able to provide some support to you.

When you keep replaying it in your head, write it all down, sometimes the process of doing this, helps to get it out of your system a bit x

sandgrown Fri 29-Mar-19 06:46:25

You did so well in the most stressful situation. I hope your daughter is better soon.

lotusbell Fri 29-Mar-19 06:49:28

You saved her life! You are in shock at the moment but once you are through this, you will see how brave and practical and quick thinking you were, you will be counting your blessings and your love will be stronger than ever. This is the reason everyone should learn first aid! Well done and hope your little recovers well x

BatmansBoxers Fri 29-Mar-19 06:52:08

I think everyone should learn first aid too because you never expect this to happen but anyone could have it happen to them or walk across someone collapsed!

Thank you for the lovely comments. I wish I had taken her in earlier but I thought she was just sleepy because she was recovering from the first illness sad

VenusStarr Fri 29-Mar-19 06:53:17

How frightening. Well done for acting so quickly. Sending love 💜 wishing your daughter a speedy recovery flowers

Greywalls12 Fri 29-Mar-19 06:53:54

I'm so sorry you had to do that, i can't begin to imagine how traumatic that is. But thank goodness you were there to do it flowers
Please look into counselling and support services in time, and I hope she makes a speedy recovery flowers

spaniorita Fri 29-Mar-19 06:55:41

That must have been horrific for you OP, but absolutely well done and congratulations on your quick thinking and not panicking - you saved your daughter's life, that's amazing!! She is in the best place now and I do hope she makes a speedy recovery. Please keep us updated on how she is getting on.

Fridasrage Fri 29-Mar-19 06:59:06

So sorry OP, that sounds really traumatic. It sounds like you saved your daughter's life, which is incredible.

I hope you can access some mental health support to get you through this.

Whackaguacamole Fri 29-Mar-19 07:00:27

You're amazing flowers

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Fri 29-Mar-19 07:02:03

You saved her.

You didn't just "give her cpr", you held it together when most would crumble and kept your baby living.

What an amazing mother you are, OP.

Lougle Fri 29-Mar-19 07:02:10

How awful for you. You did brilliantly. Playing the situation over in your head is perfectly normal. It's your brain's way of processing it. It will fade over time.

I have been in similar situations at work (with adults, though) and I went over it and over it, until finally I could accept that I'd done everything I could and the outcome was ok. You will get there in time flowers

tenbob Fri 29-Mar-19 07:06:23

What a terrifying situation, but my GOD you’re amazing!
To have stayed calm, called 999, remembered how to do CPR and kept a clear mind under the circumstances

I’m in awe of you. You saved her life!
My mind would have gone blank in a situation like that and I would have panicked. You should be really proud of yourself for staying calm and in control and helping your DD

glitterelf Fri 29-Mar-19 07:07:56

Your quick thinking saved your daughter please don't beat yourself up because you are incredible x

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