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To do more than 50% of chores

(4 Posts)
Netter123 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:14:59

Ive been struggling recently to know how much housework to do compared to my husband. We both work full time for around the same take home pay. Very stressful jobs and our hours are about the same aside from that I have another job sometimes at the weekends, so much less free time. He also suffers from a chronic illness which he never complains about but he can get really tired and zoned out at times. Despite this he always tries to have energy to do fun things. How much more housework should I be doing as the feminist in me thinks it should be 50/50 but the other part of me wants to do everything but then I can feel resentful that he is not pulling his weight when he is feeling ok. I guess I just want opinions on what is fair on both of us?

Tunnockswafer Thu 28-Mar-19 21:17:38

We don’t have the experience of his illness so how can we know? Is the answer not that when he has the energy he pulls his weight, and when he is too worn out you pick up the slack?
There are disabled women living alone who do all their own housework of course. And others who rely on someone for everything due to nature of the disability.

Eliza9917 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:17:54

I think relationships are about give and take and shouldn't be rigid set out in stone split down the middle affairs.

Do what needs doing that you each can do and help each other out ffs hmm

Netter123 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:24:05

Your so right, I have been thinking very black and white about it eg lists of his/her chores when really a much more flexible approach would be better. Maybe I could leave something like laundry to him so he can do it when he feels ok but there is no pressure to do it immediately or to keep the overall house looking tidy

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