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Aibu to be absolutely mortified at accident

(56 Posts)
BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:05:43

This may be TMI but I am a bit upset and looking for reassurance ! After a few near misses lately have actually just full on wet myself in a public place . I am mortified - notbheard of anyone else having done it so just need a hand hold to tell me I am not the only one. For background, 41 , 3 children and never done it before and I had only gone for a wee 20 minutes before sad

TheSpottedZebra Thu 28-Mar-19 18:06:36

Have you ever mentioned it to the GP?

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:07:09

Have not been to GP in ages . Just assumed I am losing the plot in middle age . Why ? X

Comenext Thu 28-Mar-19 18:09:32

Could it be a water infection?
Maybe see your GP and mention it.
I don't think you are losing the plot! Just a bit under the weather.

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:13:15

Ooh yes you could be right- have always been a bit of a frequent urinator (?) But lately has got more near miss and today was a new low 😞! But thank you for reassurance both of u ! flowers

Plurabelle Thu 28-Mar-19 18:13:58

This site is very good. You might want to contact the person who runs it who is both lovely and knowledgeable.

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:14:12

It was the look on my 5 year olds face ! He did not know whether he could laugh but he did promise not to tell anyone bless him! grin

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:14:48

Plurabelle - isn't that a great name of a website !! Goung to check it out xx thank you !

hopeishere Thu 28-Mar-19 18:15:00

You need to see a GP and get a referral to urology.

FriarTuck Thu 28-Mar-19 18:16:22

I'd wager that the only reason you've not heard of anyone doing it is because no-one will admit to it, not because you're the only one.

gamerchick Thu 28-Mar-19 18:16:34

You need to see your GP. Make an appointment tomorrow and don't be embarrassed. This can be sorted.

Superfragile Thu 28-Mar-19 18:17:13

Gp, they can help its fairly common but treatable!!

thedisorganisedmum Thu 28-Mar-19 18:18:03

Just assumed I am losing the plot in middle age

oh please do not think that! It's a valid concern and you do not have to put up with that. Don't be afraid to see GP and demand help.

It's not "normal" and it's not a curse. There are options to help you, whatever the problem is.

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:21:23

Maybe that's what it is - I mean , I always make a joke about being perimenopausal at work (work with all under 30s) and try to take all that it is in my stride but deep down I am so embarrassed. This feels like a new low BUT like you say maybe this is more common than that. !

PinkDaffodil2 Thu 28-Mar-19 18:25:16

Hey OP, I’m training to be a GP and this is actually very common, but people think it’s just them because it’s not spoken about much. Your GP will be totally nonplussed, please go see them sooner rather than later, it makes me feel so sad seeing women who’ve put up with urinary problems for ages before seeking help because they didn’t realise there were things we could do flowers

Plurabelle Thu 28-Mar-19 18:29:00

Yes, I certainly wasn't advising against seeing a GP - just that the site above is run by a woman who is knowledgeable and trained - whose got loads of relevant experience. So there's a potential network to tap into. Also if it takes a while to get an appointment, there may be access to helpful advice in the meantime.

Hockneypool Thu 28-Mar-19 18:29:43

Do check out gusset grippers she is a physio specialising in women’s pelvic health and comedian. She tells a similar story to you as a starting point from switching from sport physio to women. Do you do Pelvic floor exercises?

RockinHippy Thu 28-Mar-19 18:31:33

You definitely need to see your GP, it could be a s simple as a UTI. If you have any lower back trouble or numbness though go to A&E as it could also be corda equina p, which would need urgent attention

& don't worry, I'm sure many of us have been there. I once crapped myself after a very rough sea crossing in a small boat that caused raging seasickness. I had to wait 3 for customs to turn up before I could get off tge boat & clean up too. I was mortified, but I lived 🤷🏼‍♀️

JoinTheDots Thu 28-Mar-19 18:32:55

Oh bless you! I had a coughing fit while walking with friends (sucking a mint and it went down the wrong way) and it made me wet myself! The only time it has happened in public so far... I just need to remember to do my pelvic floor exercises more though. Usually if I am going to cough or sneeze I brace myself and everything stays where it should but this was so violent and so unexpected, I didn't have chance! I had a long coat on so I don't think anyone noticed.

clairemcnam Thu 28-Mar-19 18:34:12

Please don't ask people to share stories. It is a well known perversion for some men to get off on stories like these.

BottleOfJameson Thu 28-Mar-19 18:34:19

I would see your GP sounds like an underlying issue. Like a PP said this is something people don't mention. No one will post on Facebook "OMG just wet myself on the train" but it does happen. I know two people who have had it happen (only know in one case as I was there and the other I'm very close to).

thedisorganisedmum Thu 28-Mar-19 18:37:48

well, screw them.

We shouldn't have to hide the problem and keep silent. Other women will read this thread and realise they don't have to live with incontinence. We do need to talk about it. Enough with the suffering in silence and in shame when lots can be done.

clairemcnam Thu 28-Mar-19 18:38:00

And yes it does happen. Either because muscles get weaker or because of a temporary illness. Happens to both women and men. But no one is going to tell you in real life unless it was someone incredibly close like your partner.

clairemcnam Thu 28-Mar-19 18:44:59

Apologies, I admit I thought you were a troll, but I have changed my mind.

LittlePaintBox Thu 28-Mar-19 18:46:42

Yes - this has happened to me! I had a phase of weeing very shortly after getting the urge, and wetting myself as soon as I saw the toilet. My GP gave me a print out about pelvic floor exercises, but didn't seem too concerned. I've had a series of really severe UTIs and it turned out I had a very resilient bug in my urine, and since I was given the right antibiotic to knock it our, I've been a lot better.

If you look at the number of ads for 'Oops' pads etc, I don't think it's that uncommon. Though I have to say, a small pad wouldn't be much use in the face of my 'accidents'.

MadAboutWands Thu 28-Mar-19 18:48:45

Gusset grippers was (Still is?.) a MNtter too. At some point, she used to give lots of very good advice in that subject.

OP fwiw, I’ve done that too. So so embarrassing blush

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:49:08

Pink daffodil you sound like a lovely GP ! Thanks everyone - I am massively reassured rockinhippy that sound particularly traumatic poor u !! And jointhedots thank you- such an innocuous think choking on a mint ....going to be on my guard now smile going to read up on that website and pop into gp tomorrow . Now the shame is receding a little . Love Mumsnet for help it's the best xxxxx

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 18:50:47

So will rule out medical stuff and start a proper pelvic floor routine - always been a but hit and miss with that tbh.

AlexaAmbidextra Thu 28-Mar-19 18:52:12

Isn’t it a sad day when a woman comes on here for support for what is a common problem and some people are concerned about perverts? Well if any pathetic men get off on this sort of thing I say let them wank away until their dick drops off. It doesn’t affect anyone here that some sicko is pulling his plonker behind a computer screen and it shouldn’t mean that women are put off posting on an anonymous forum for help and advice.

Melroses Thu 28-Mar-19 18:53:52

Done that blush

Mine is definitely linked to hormones - been better since hrt and local oestrogen.

Don't make the mistake of not drinking - I find that a day of drinking plenty of water has a very good effect.

clairemcnam Thu 28-Mar-19 18:55:45

This can happen with a bad uti as well.

YouTheCat Thu 28-Mar-19 18:55:50

What Melroses said. If you don't drink enough it can irritate your bladder and make it worse.

Tillyop Thu 28-Mar-19 19:01:15

I think some posters are wary as there was a well known pee troll who posted similar OPs hoping others would share their stories

Not saying the troll is you op

thedisorganisedmum Thu 28-Mar-19 19:03:38

Even if the OP was a troll, but the story could help other women to seek help, it would still be worth keeping the thread.

RockinHippy Thu 28-Mar-19 19:04:58

Oh I nearly forgot. Get your vitamin D checked too.

I was down for surgery for all sorts of prolapse problems that caused this for me. I switched my prescription Vitamin D to a high dose natural D3 with magnesium & a bit of fat such as coconut oil & I was gobsmacked that it really helped the prolapse stuff & weak bladder too. I didn't get the surgery, but haven't needed it

OldAndWornOut Thu 28-Mar-19 19:05:30

I quite regularly 'dribble' and coughing, sneezing and so on can lead to rather more, as is the case with all (I only have 2, actually) of my friends.

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 19:07:13

No that's ok - am not offended - I understand the suspicion. I had no idea people actually did that! 🙄 so I deliberately have not drunk as much lately because I suppose it was in the back of my mind . So like Melrose said - maybe that's the wrong way round. My job involves house visits and I always drink less so I don't have to ask to use their loos !

Plurabelle Thu 28-Mar-19 19:08:56

Alsohuman Thu 28-Mar-19 19:18:21

You have my sympathy. Several of my friends and I joke that we keep Tena Lady in business. We all have stories like yours. You’re definitely not alone.

Knittedfairies Thu 28-Mar-19 19:20:42

Go and see your GP who will definitely not be 'totally nonplussed' as mentioned upthread!

Pinotjo Thu 28-Mar-19 19:21:31

Welcome to my world! I dare not laugh, sneeze or cough. While you wait to see your GP do your pelvic floor exercises. I wet myself in town whilst wearing light blue jeans, daughter drove 3 miles to pick me up and drive me a quarter of a mile to the carpark to get my car, travelled home sat on a carrier bagsmile

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 20:08:56

Oh my life that Scottish lady is BRILLIANT! How awesome is she ! Made me laugh out loud and love the way she says pish grinand I could actually cry at the relief at reading your stories - thank you all so much for taking the time to post flowers.

eightytwenty Thu 28-Mar-19 20:13:42

gussiegrips - am I right that this is your ‘bag’?

JustTwoMoreSecs Thu 28-Mar-19 20:27:58

OP, I’ll tell you my shameful secret, I once weed myself in the elevator back to my flat. DH was with me blush

JustTwoMoreSecs Thu 28-Mar-19 20:33:46

Posted too soon, I am talking full on weeing, puddle on the floor etc. I ran inside to get changed and went straight out to clean the floor but DH had done it already.
He had clear instructions never to mention it (6y ago, so far so good)
Anyway, I hope it makes you feel better, it happens!

BlueMerchant Thu 28-Mar-19 20:36:27

I once did it at a posh wedding. It was actually trickling down my bare legs I to my sandals. Had to stuff my underwear with loo roll and sit soggy through the disco.

Haworthia Thu 28-Mar-19 20:40:21

It doesn’t affect anyone here that some sicko is pulling his plonker behind a computer screen and it shouldn’t mean that women are put off posting on an anonymous forum for help and advice.


It’s NOT OK that Mumsnet is teeming with perverts who encourage women to feed their fetish by providing anecdotes under the guise of giving advice.

You might be totally comfortable with men wanking over your posts but I am not.

Nomorepies Thu 28-Mar-19 20:41:55

OP this can happen with a water infection- easily fixed with anti- biotics. See your GP

WinkysTeatowel Thu 28-Mar-19 20:53:34

I would recommend the NHS Squeezy app for a good Pelvic Floor Exercise routine including reminders.

Supersimpkin Thu 28-Mar-19 20:55:13

I don't know anyone who hasn't wet themselves. Men do it too.

DailyMailFail101 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:01:43

Oh don’t be embarrassed,I used to wet my self regularly until I had Botox injections into my bladder, it caused my bladder muscles to strengthen (so much I can’t pee now I self catheterise) go to your GP there’s loads of options out there!

snowball28 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:03:42

I went through a stage of this when I was only a teen, about 2 years. And now it’s happening again (31 weeks with no 3) GP can help, pop in and visit them. It’s normal and way more common than you think x

Jent13c Thu 28-Mar-19 21:20:02

I know you are so worried but there is SO much that can be done about it. Great idea to see doc or nurse. In my area it is the district nurses that complete continence assessments for you to get incontinence products. They are experts and the plan of care is to get you back to continence, not just to contain the accidents.
Some top tips;
1. Do NOT limit your fluid intake on your own say. You need to be drinking at least 1.2 litres a day. Reducing this will make your urine more concentrated which can irritate the bladder and can also put you more at risk of UTI. It will make you constipated.
2. Check your bowel habits. If you are constipated this will put pressure on your bladder.
3. Reduce caffeine. It is a bladder irritant. Try sticking to water to see if that is affecting things. Smoking is also irritant
4. Get your urine tested...?UTI
5. Try and get an internal exam. You could have issues related to child birth which were never picked up or issues related to hormone changes with menopause.

There are SO many options for you and so many tests that can be done to see why this is happening for you. I know it's hard to approach healthcare professionals with an 'embarrassing illness' but it would be so much better than having to wear pads all the time.

Crossfitgirl Thu 28-Mar-19 21:43:27

Try the NHS app "squeezy". It's a couple of quid but handy for pelvic floor exercises. And it's not normal to wet yourself, but it's not unusual and it's totally treatable! Glad you're going to see the GP OP. Xxx

BlinkingBrexit Thu 28-Mar-19 22:31:04

Thank you for the brilliant advice Jent13c - lots of food for thought! And I promise to you all there is nothing untoward about my post and I feel heaps better knowing it's more common than I thought - I appreciate each and every one of your posts and stories xx thank you all for taking the time to reply xx thank you flowers

SnowdropsiUnderTrees Thu 28-Mar-19 22:36:55

Tena lady. I have used them since my late 30's. People seem very anti them but I find them brilliant. Not everyone wants medication, physio or surgery.

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