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He wants to come back, but I don't want him back, nor do the DC

(112 Posts)
TheABC Thu 28-Mar-19 14:23:42

Stop feeling guilty. You can choose to end the relationship just if you want to: your feelings are equal to his.

Don't take him back. Just tell him it's over (because he was clearly trying to mess with your head when he walked out) and tell him when pick his stuff up from the doorstep.

If you have not already, get a plan in place for maintenance and contact. He sounds like the sort who will try and dick you over about it.

PinkHeart5914 Thu 28-Mar-19 14:22:32

No say just that “We are happier without you” end of discussion

He mad his bed, so now he can enjoy sleeping in it....

TORDEVAN Thu 28-Mar-19 14:22:17

I wouldn't say 'we', but yes don't have him back. Don't put the children in the middle whilst it's avoidable (speaking from a past of being one of the children put in the middle).

Ribbonsonabox Thu 28-Mar-19 14:21:47

YANBU dont have him back. He sounds awful. Why waste your and your DCs lives being miserable?

Aquamarine1029 Thu 28-Mar-19 14:21:23

You SHOULD tell him you're happier without him and he is not coming back. Why keep making the same stupid mistake? He's gone and he needs to stay gone.

mbosnz Thu 28-Mar-19 14:20:49

He's made his bed, he can lie in it. Alone.. .

PerpendicularVincent Thu 28-Mar-19 14:20:14

YANBU at all. I am glad you and the DC are happy now flowers

ChicCroissant Thu 28-Mar-19 14:19:54

Also all the other times I've had him back NOTHING changes!

Stop putting your children through this OP.

purpleboy Thu 28-Mar-19 14:19:33

YANBU the children are your priority and the children are happier without him in the house. That's all you need to know.
Your doing the right thing, and deep down you know it, don't allow those thought of guilt to take over, they are not real.

BaronessBomburst Thu 28-Mar-19 14:18:24

Don't have him back then!

cheaperthebetter Thu 28-Mar-19 14:17:06

Also all the other times I've had him back NOTHING changes!
Literally only for the first few weeks

cheaperthebetter Thu 28-Mar-19 14:15:53

Hi all,

So he left a week gone yesterday, due to him calling me a 'snake' slag basically because I never answered the phone to him! (Phone in bag actually never heard it!) was with DD at her activity club.
Anyways on the day he left he said "I'm never coming back you know, also I won't be chasing you" I told him " good as I don't want you back nor do I want you to chase me!"
Fast forward, over the last few days he's been really nice (he's chasing btw) so I've been amicable for DC, he keeps suggesting 'why don't we do this on that day' 'that on this day' and when I say "No" as made other plans he starts to 'sigh' and make me feel guilty, to which I actually AM!

I've spoke to DC (4) ages 12,11,9 and 8, they don't want him back living with us, in their words he is 'grumpy, moody, demanding (constantly asks the kids to get him this that and the other eg drink, snack etc) selfish, lazy too,
And they are so RIGHT in their opinions.
Since he has gone, me and DC have had just relaxed and chilled out and the atmosphere in the house is LOVELY!

I know I will feel awful saying this but it's true!

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