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MIL and impending birth

(103 Posts)
Greywalls12 Thu 28-Mar-19 08:14:54

I'm very pregnant, due in 2 weeks and every couple of days for the past week she's been asking me if I've 'had any twinges' which is really starting to grate on me.

I'm more of the mind of trying not to think every little feeling is the start of labour, cause I just get dissapointed when it's not! It's our first baby so chances are I'll probably be late, and I'd just like to get on with things rather than be reminded how nothing's happening yet!
AIBU to be annoyed?
And AIBU to either ask her, or get DH to ask her to stop asking me about it?
No one else asks me, it's just her!

Bibijayne Thu 28-Mar-19 08:18:57

Might be worth saying something gentle?

"Hi MIL, we understand you're excited. We are too, but we're also very anxious. This is a scary time for us and we're trying not to get too worked up about early signs. We'd really appreciate it if you could stop asking as we're finding it a bit stressful. We'll let you know when we know something is happening,"

Might be best to ask your DH to say it?

BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney Thu 28-Mar-19 08:21:25

YABU, she's just excited. Just say "not yet!" and move on.

DobbyLovesSocks Thu 28-Mar-19 08:21:28

Do you get on with her? She is most probably just excited at thought of becoming a grandma. Is this her first grandchild?
Like pp said, let her know it's annoying you but cut her a bit of slack.

DoneLikeAKipper Thu 28-Mar-19 08:22:00

She’s just got in early, prepare for a lot of this - I’m afraid it’s a case of grin and bear it. I went 10 days over with my first, by the end I was ready to murder the next person who asked if anything was happening. Just nicely say ‘you’ll know if anything has happened as you’ll see a baby!’.

Waveysnail Thu 28-Mar-19 08:23:03

If she's nice then she's excited and showing interest. I'd much rather have an over excited grandparent than one who doesn't care

Tinkerbell456 Thu 28-Mar-19 08:23:29

Tend to think give her some slack- she’s excited. Better than uncaring. I get that it would be irritating, but she probably doesn’t mean to be.

CarlGrimesMissingEye Thu 28-Mar-19 08:24:09

Well you're 38 weeks pregnant so everything is annoying. I know it's frustrating but she's just excited.

Question you have 'the arse'?

cheeseandpineapple Thu 28-Mar-19 08:25:00

Agree with babydarling, she’s excited, just say not yet and move on.

SoHotADragonRetired Thu 28-Mar-19 08:25:48

If you want to be really pass-agg about it, send her this link:

Seriously, though, just ask your partner to have a polite word to say that you know she's excited but it's stressing you a bit, and mute your message and call notifications from her.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 28-Mar-19 08:26:28

Poor MiL - seems like you're now laying the ground work to alienate her properly. Reason number 23,546 that I hope I never have a son.

Bibijayne Thu 28-Mar-19 08:29:29

@VladmirsPoutine - what nonsense! OP is 38 weeks with her first baby. It doesn't mean she doesn't like her MIL at all. It's a scary time and everyone is a bit annoying when you're uncomfortable and about to have a baby.

Blondebakingmumma Thu 28-Mar-19 08:29:44

I think you are being unreasonable, she sounds excited

whitesoxx Thu 28-Mar-19 08:31:35

I think YABU, she's only asking if you've had any twinges. What's the big deal?!

VladmirsPoutine Thu 28-Mar-19 08:31:57

This is how it starts @Bibijayne. Come the end of this year OP will be writing threads about the ingratiating way her MiL prefers coffee over tea and sometimes dares to smile at her grandchild. MiLs are essentially satan on Mumsnet. Poor women.

FrozenMargarita17 Thu 28-Mar-19 08:32:58

For the last two weeks of my pregnancy I had my phone on airplane mode because people were driving me crackers

ASundayWellSpent Thu 28-Mar-19 08:36:24

YABU she's probably biting her tongue not to ask even more often! I know it's annoying, I got so fed up of exactly the same thing when I went overdue with my first, but being excited is hard to contain! Just say "no not yet! Not much longer to wait though" and move on

BlueJava Thu 28-Mar-19 08:37:10

Just say "No nothing yet!" and move on. Unless there is a big backstory I don't see a big problem. She is probably excited to be a gran.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Thu 28-Mar-19 08:40:52

"Hi MiL, I know that you are looking forward to meeting the baby almost as much as I am, but really- nothing is happening yet. I'll let you know when something happens that you need to know about". Then stop replying to any "twinge" messages. Unless you want to end up well over due with an hourly MiL alert.

She sounds very sweet but I'd start to feel a bit checked up on.

CalmdownJanet Thu 28-Mar-19 08:41:06

I think it's ok to say "No nothing yet, but I could go over by two weeks too so that could mean another four weeks pregnant, so I'm not thinking about it and going with the flow, otherwise time will drag for me. So no need to ask, I'll tell you when the time comes"
That's nice, I'm sure she is just excited and doesn't realise she's being annoying

53rdWay Thu 28-Mar-19 08:42:14

I’m sure she is just excited but it’s still annoying to get asked this constantly, and it will only get more annoying if you go overdue. Ask her nicely to stop now (or ask DH to ask her) and it’ll hopefully prevent asking her through tears and rage later on.

RuskBaby Thu 28-Mar-19 08:42:50

I would go with being kind, once your due date comes (if it does) everyone will start asking ALL the time!

TrendyNorthLondonTeen Thu 28-Mar-19 08:44:46

Heaven forbid that she's excited about her grandchild...

ScarletBitch Thu 28-Mar-19 08:45:14

Grow up ffs, she is asking out of concern hmm

Greywalls12 Thu 28-Mar-19 08:48:15

I get that she's excited, we are too! But this pregnancy has made me anxious enough and I tend to overthink things as it is, so this just seems to be another thing to overthink about!

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