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AIBU?

To ask if anyone has read French Children Don't Throw Food?

26 replies

StoryBookorTwo · 27/03/2019 19:17

Reviews are good on Kindle store, sample doesn't tell me much, I found "How to talk so kids listen and how to listen so kids talk" really interesting along with the "younger kids" version

I don't know if the book mentions sleep for eg but is it more Ferber than attachment or somewhere in between with some useful ideas?

I don't subscribe to either of the above as such, just what works for us, but I'm not comfortable sleep training for example

Just looking for parenting tips as 1 year old develops into a little person with a strong will of her own!

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mushlett · 27/03/2019 19:21

I read it ages ago and can’t really remember it that much but I do recall finding it slightly irritating, if I remember correctly it seemed to be one of those books written with the benefit of hindsight with many realities forgotten. It is an easy read and won’t take you long to get through so it’s probably worth a go.

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underneaththeash · 27/03/2019 19:44

I quite liked that book and yes, you shouldn't go to little babies as soon as they cry as they can often self-settle.

I had a difficult DS1, ignored DS2 and DD a bit more and they slept through from 6.30pm - 7.30pm from 12 weeks.

Not sure about the making a cake every day though....

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Thiswayorthatway · 27/03/2019 19:47

It's more autobiographical than a parenting book. Quite funny I recall, but the cake was all oil and yoghurt.

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mindutopia · 27/03/2019 20:09

It’s not an advice book. It’s like a non-fiction book about her time living in France.

It depends on your tolerance for these things. I found the bits about French diet and mealtimes to be really interesting (and that’s very much like how we do things in our house - not because I read about it in a book, just because we do). But she paints the French as being very pro-formula, timed feeds, strict sleep training. I don’t think that’s wholly accurate, but I found myself rolling my eyes at much of it.

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lexiconmistress · 27/03/2019 20:14

You're very brave to say 'you shouldn't go to little babies as soon as they cry' on mumsnet... Grin

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BogstandardBelle · 27/03/2019 20:19

I live in France. Tbh without a whole French family and culture backing you up, you aren’t going to bring your children up the “typically” French way.

I’ve read the book: I thought it was funny and well-observed, and useful for anyone dealing with a French mother-in-law ;-)

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hanahsaunt · 27/03/2019 20:22

I read it in the last six months and loved it. It is autobiographical, I laughed quite a lot, and most of it resonated with how I stumbled through the early years of having my four. Much apparently French behaviour was similar to Gina Ford (whom I adored and she worked for all four of my wildly different children). It's fun, lighthearted and entertaining with some interesting food for thought.

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SoyDora · 27/03/2019 20:23

Its not really a parenting book, just observations. I found it interesting as I lived in France for a few years, but it’s not a guide to raising children.

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Mammylamb · 27/03/2019 20:25

Weirdly the advice not to go to baby straight away worked for us, and DS slept through at 7 weeks.

We didn’t leave the wee soul crying; he was in a next to me crib beside me, but we would lie and wait to see if he was just moving about making noises rather than crying.

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Excited101 · 27/03/2019 20:26

I loved it!

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Aquilla · 27/03/2019 20:27

Enjoyed it and took a lot out of it esp self-soothing and introducing kids to new foods.

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SoyDora · 27/03/2019 20:27

but we would lie and wait to see if he was just moving about making noises rather than crying

Yeah we did this too... DD1 slept through at 3.5 (years) Grin

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KindergartenKop · 27/03/2019 20:30

I mostly remember that they give their kids crudites after school.

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anniehm · 27/03/2019 20:32

My French friends found it hilarious - their kids are "British" in their habits I might add, fussy and won't eat French food!

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StoryBookorTwo · 27/03/2019 20:57

If it's autobiographical maybe it's quite interesting and I'll give it a try then!

I also definitely did the "wait and see if it's a real cry" thing which I don't think of as sleep training. Sadly it always escalated!

I can now resettle fairly quickly in cot but sleeping through the night... no way!

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thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 27/03/2019 21:09

I watch French super nanny on you tube and can assure you that not all French children have great behaviour and manners!

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Theyellowsquare · 27/03/2019 21:14

I loved this book. Particularly how the whole ethos is about raising children to be independent fairly early on. Also teaching to wait and how to occupy themselves for short periods of time. It was very funny also.

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sailorsdelight · 27/03/2019 21:14

Read it, I reckon it’s balls! We’re in south of France a lot and i’ve lost count of the number of times our kids ‘good’ behaviour in restaurants or out and about has been remarked on by French people, usually accompanied by ‘ French children don’t behave like that’ ... we lucked out with calm kids who like to do puzzles at the dinner table and love their grub by the way, this isn’t some stealth boast!

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Wallywobbles · 27/03/2019 21:29

French kids are pretty well behaved in public to be fair and 13 weeks maternity leave and decent cheap subsidized childcare lead to very different parenting overall. Much shorter breast feeding etc.

School starts at 3 so I think there is much more of a community raising children than in the UK. But that could be just my experience.

I have seen some hideous entitled behavior in both countries. Mostly from older teens in France though.

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Scotinoz · 27/03/2019 21:41

I read it years back, and remember it being an interesting one.

I'm currently reading How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm, which is similar in that it looks at various countries and their approach to parenting (e.g. Argentinians let their kids stay up late)

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MrsDevlin · 27/03/2019 21:43

She compares the finest of French parents with the worst excesses of British parents, with the subtlety of s sledgehammer. I found it relentlessly annoying.
I've never known a British child to throw food. I've taught in France and French children are generally dull, herd-like, devoid of originality and cowed by authority. Then they become self-obsessed and cunning. On the whole.

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Expressedways · 27/03/2019 22:03

It’s also called Bringing Up Bebe in the US. It’s a good read and is entertaining, there are some bits of advice but it’s not a parenting manual.

The ‘pause’ to see if it’s a real cry worked for us and DD went back to sleep about 50% of time at 4 weeks old and 99.99% of time at 6 weeks old. I just flicked through the ‘doing her nights’ chapter and it doesn’t offer anything practical other than La Pause, which is for small babies, some stories about her French friends and the statement that some French babies miss the four-month window for sleep teaching. When this happens French experts usually recommend some version of crying it out

OP, I’d read it because it’s good entertainment but it’s unlikely to help with a 1 year old’s sleep. I personally found some great insights and advice from the chapters around food and behaviour though.

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Mammylamb · 27/03/2019 22:16

Sorry Soy! I thought it was my superior parenting skills!!!

We are sticking st one child as I just know the second child would keep me awake until they were 10

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StoryBookorTwo · 27/03/2019 22:24

Thanks PP, not what I expected but I may give it a try anyway now

I know you've all said La Pause is for tiny babies (and it didn't work for us then either - after the 9th or so wake up whatever my original intention there was no chance of me springing to life at the slightest might be murmur!) but I just saw my 1 year old standing within 5 seconds of stirring and start pacing the cot so alas doesn't work on this older baby either!

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LaurieMarlow · 27/03/2019 22:26

French children are generally dull, herd-like, devoid of originality and cowed by authority. Then they become self-obsessed and cunning. On the whole.

What a mean spirited and ridiculous generalisation. Sounds like the book put you totally on the defensive.

OP I read it and enjoyed it. Sadly I never managed to put the sleep advice into practice. The stuff around food culture is fascinating. I often think of it when I observe the worst excesses of the beige crap you get in this country.

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