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He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

(1000 Posts)
Jalila07 Wed 27-Mar-19 14:35:14

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

SilverySurfer Wed 27-Mar-19 14:44:32

He won't send a cab for her

Why the fucik should he? Is she going to send a cab for him when he goes to her house.

Seriously, have we slipped back a couple of centuries overnight and I haven't noticed?

GrumpyInsomniac Wed 27-Mar-19 14:44:34

It's an Uber. Seriously. And on a very busy road. If he had flagged a black cab and then got in and left her on the side of the road, that would BU. But that's not how Ubers work.

If she feels unable to wait a minute or two on her own at the side of a busy street in the West End until her Uber arrives, she had only to ask him to wait with her until gets arrived so she felt more secure. Communication. Absolutely key.

If the rest of the date was good, far better to see him again, talk and let him know what the expectations are. And if she doesn't like the answer she can ditch him then, but until that point I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

pootyisabadcat Wed 27-Mar-19 14:44:48

Why doesn't she call her own cab? I'd find someone who called me a cab a creep, like those men who try to order for you in a restaurant. Nope.

Waveysnail Wed 27-Mar-19 14:45:09

Depends how it happened. Who said call it a night? Did they ask each other how they are getting home? No I wouldn't expect him to call a taxi for me

bingoitsadingo Wed 27-Mar-19 14:45:32

And tbh at the age of 40 I'd be quite insulted if someone thought I couldn't be left alone in central London.

Gomyownway Wed 27-Mar-19 14:45:38

Why should he send a cab for her? Why is it his responsibility to organise her transport?

cherrryontop Wed 27-Mar-19 14:46:04

There’s no way in hell my dh would have ever left me standing on my own. It’s just rude. I know others will disagree and yes, she’s a grown woman etc, but I’d just see it as bloody rude tbh

So if the situation is reversed and a woman left a man waiting for their cab, is that rude?

Honestly this is ridiculous. Grown adults are capable of ordering and waiting for a cab.

RosaWaiting Wed 27-Mar-19 14:46:56

On Charing Cross Road? He didn't have time to wait.

perhaps the whole thing was badly thought out but two adults can organise their own cabs.

WhiteDust Wed 27-Mar-19 14:47:11

No he didn’t call her a cab before his own. He just called his, so she had to call her own and then his came first so he buggered off.

He can't just 'delay' an UBER.
Did she want him to stand next to it until her cab came?
Did she expect expect him to call a cab for her, wait for it to arrive and only then call and wait for his own cab?

Sounds ridiculous! YABU.

mummmy2017 Wed 27-Mar-19 14:47:37

No I don't think he did wrong, first date and all. As were you expecting him to pay her cab fare?.
Everyone goes on about paying their own way and bay wanting doors opened, then complains when treated as an equal.
If the taxi thing is enough to stop your friend going on a second date, and the traveling to his is another red flag, then tell her to decline the invite.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:08

Fuck me have I woken up in 1950?

BusterTheBulldog Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:13

‘He won’t send a cab’ 😂😂 are his horse and carriage in for servicing?

Your friend is the red flag op! She doesn’t have to go, or y’know, could suggest another location if she can’t get to his suggestion. Jeez, poor guy!

pasturesgreen Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:32

No, I wouldn't see him again either. I have standards, and it's just common courtesy not to leave your date standing like a lemon on the side of the road to swan off on your merry way.

TheYoungOffendersMum Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:37

Send a cab for her? Is this the olden times? People have these things called cars, this invention called public transport, and something else called personal dignity. No way would I expect someone to send for a cab for me to bring me somewhere. How weird for modern times.

LittleKitty1985 Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:51

Now he wants her to traipse to Hampstead (where he lives) on the weekend, but I bet he won’t send a cab for her. We think this is a “red flag.”

Is this for real?? Why on earth should he do this? London has an amazing transport network that will get her there easily, cheaply and safely. I've been on hundreds of dates in London and have never had a guy send a taxi for me because it would be ridiculously unnecessary!

cardibach Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:56

I don’t understand why he should send a cab for her to go to Hampstead at the weekend. If I want to go somewhere, I organise my own transport. So should she! If she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t need to.

ColeHawlins Wed 27-Mar-19 14:49:29

You think he should send a cab for her to retrieve her to his place in Hampstead?

Is she an eighteenth century Parisian courtesan? confused

Usernumbers1234 Wed 27-Mar-19 14:49:52

Uber’s a big part of this.

1) it’s account linked, so she kind of wants him in his own Uber, before he disappears off to Cornwall for a day trip on her.

2) being Uber, she knows where her vehicle is and that it’s on it’s way.

Taxi, different ball game, but unless her Uber had gone missing, was 20 mins away, I can’t see why he would have stayed nor why she would have wanted him to

Either way, it’s not the make or break of whether to see him again, if she’s looking for an excuse just don’t bother

Jalila07 Wed 27-Mar-19 14:50:05

Yes it’s a good point that you may not be able to order two Ubers at the same time. But still, do you not think he should have got her one rather than just sorting himself?

Also, he knows she has no car, so why expect her to travel to north London when he could organise something more centrally or go her way?

She hasn’t dated since her divorce and she’s very unsure. Apart from transport weirdness, she thinks he seems nice.

cherrryontop Wed 27-Mar-19 14:50:08

No, I wouldn't see him again either. I have standards, and it's just common courtesy not to leave your date standing like a lemon on the side of the road to swan off on your merry way.

But if a woman's cab arrived first and she left the man waiting that would be ok I assume? hmm

BlueMerchant Wed 27-Mar-19 14:50:25

He should have seen her call a cab and at least know it was on it's way before he took off. He should then have called her and asked to know when she had been picked up.

WhiteDust Wed 27-Mar-19 14:50:25

Also...
Now he wants her to traipse to Hampstead (where he lives) on the weekend, but I bet he won’t send a cab for her. We think this is a “red flag.”

Why the hell should he order her a cab to get to their next meeting point?!

I think you're winding us up OP!

TrixieFranklin Wed 27-Mar-19 14:51:26

What the fuck? Your friends off her rocker.

FenellaMaxwell Wed 27-Mar-19 14:51:47

It’s HAMSPTEAD, not darkest Peru! I’m going to hazard a guess that you don’t go to London much, OP?

pootyisabadcat Wed 27-Mar-19 14:52:02

Eh? Send a cab for her? She's the red flag. It would bother me that after just one date the other person wants me to go to their area rather than meeting somewhere that's equidistant for both, that type of laziness would put me off and I wouldn't go, but lay on transport for me? Creepy.

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