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Mistook a boy for a girl

(156 Posts)
justmakemeacuppa Tue 26-Mar-19 20:14:47

Was in the park with the kids and my youngest was sat at the top of the slide while a kid was sat behind her. So as any parents would encouraged my kid to go down by saying the little girl at the back of you wants to go down the slide.
Kid then turns round and says I’m a boy! Was a bit taken off guard and didn’t really know how to reply other than sorry. This kid had lovely long blond hair tied up in a ponytail and baggy shorts which could have been mistaken for a skirt but it was the hair that made me think he was a girl.
So now I’m wondering have I just come across a gender fluid family? Does SHE want to be a boy are in fact is he a boy that just likes his blond hair ? I’m happy to go along with anyone’s choices in life but surely if he doesn’t want to be mistaken for a girl you’d not have a girls hair cut.? Or maybe mum doesn’t give him a choice as he did have lovely hair? He did seem upset I called him a girl though. Just mentioned it as I keep reading about people bringing their kids up gender neutral and wondering if this is going to become more of a thing letting kids decide their own gender.

RiddleyW Wed 27-Mar-19 16:32:12

If it's 'no big deal' why the 7 pages of comments and sweary defensive posts

I think you’re misunderstanding what isn’t a big deal. A boy having long hair is no big deal. A person thinking a boy with long hair is a girl and/or gender fluid actually is a big deal. A big enough deal, to me, for me to comment on anyway.

Vulpine Wed 27-Mar-19 15:05:16

If it's 'no big deal' why the 7 pages of comments and sweary defensive posts.

flowery Wed 27-Mar-19 14:57:59

”surely if he doesn’t want to be mistaken for a girl you’d not have a girls hair cut.”

What’s a “girl’s hair cut”?

JessieMcJessie Wed 27-Mar-19 14:48:26

WFT you mean you live in a Sikh area? smile

SockKnittingMum Wed 27-Mar-19 14:37:58

Really? He's a boy with long hair...it's no big deal. My 11yr old has long hair and so does his best friend! They are both boys, they just like their hair long.
Both have been mistaken for girls and rightly correct peoples assumptions.
Hair length is not gender specific.

Limensoda Wed 27-Mar-19 13:33:11

You are giving this far too much thought.
You thought he was a girl. He corrected you. You said 'Sorry'
That's all there is to it.

HalfBloodPrincess Wed 27-Mar-19 13:28:38

My oldest son is 14 and hasn’t cut his hair since he was 7. He’s just a (aspiring rockstar) boy with long hair, not a transitioning child ffs what’s wrong with you? And why is it any of your business?

CheshireChat Wed 27-Mar-19 13:24:33

The only thing I've noticed is that girls use their hands to get hair out of their eyes, boys just shake their heads. Really tickles me for some reason.

WFTisgoingoninmyhead Wed 27-Mar-19 12:38:31

A lot of little boys and teenage lads around our town have long hair and wear it in a bun or top knot(?) I think it was the baggy shorts that looked like a skirt that confused you. Mind you in our town lads will wear dresses and skirts, I think you need to move somewhere more metropolitan!!!

In future, I would make your child rush down a slide because there is "someone else" waiting!!!

CookPassBabtridge Wed 27-Mar-19 12:37:36

My DS always got mistaken for a girl but only by adults, the kids just knew. He enjoyed correcting them 😂 What you saw OP, was a boy with long hair.

GottenGottenGotten Wed 27-Mar-19 12:33:33

Op hasn't been back...

Unconvinced by this one.

SoHotADragonRetired Wed 27-Mar-19 12:30:33

Here in Middle Class North London there is barely one little boy with a short back and sides- it’s all cascading curls round here. Short hair is a class marker, not a gender one!

Ha, very true. Exact same here in West London - short back and sides tends to indicate either 1) working class or 2) family hails from Eastern Europe.

Boys used to wear dresses until they were 5. Rigid gendering of hair and clothing in small children is much more a recent fad than an immutable law of nature.

S1naidSucks Wed 27-Mar-19 12:29:55

What does that actually mean?

It means “look at me! I’m so woke! Aren’t I such a good parent! Please feed me lots of affirmation cookies.”

Whereas we just raised our children to know they were loved, no matter how they presented. If only we had known we were super duper special.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis Wed 27-Mar-19 12:29:22

I don’t know anyone “bringing their kids up gender neutral” hmm

CaptainKirksSpookyghost Wed 27-Mar-19 12:24:39

more parents are bringing their kids up gender neutrally

What does that actually mean?

Do you mean they don't force kids to follow stereotypes, that's not a new thing, it's normal parenting.

Vulpine Wed 27-Mar-19 12:19:44

There has been a shift in gender fluidity over the last few years and more people are identifying as non binary and indeed more parents are bringing their kids up gender neutrally. It's therefore not a surprise that people will occasionally get things wrong, which in itself is not a big deal.

purplelass Wed 27-Mar-19 12:06:01

Some boys have long hair coz (shock horror) they like it.

Some girls have short hair - what do you assume about them?

flameycakes Wed 27-Mar-19 11:56:50

My youngest has dark curly hair right down to his waist, he has been called a she a few times, he just laughs and tells them he is a boy.

drspouse Wed 27-Mar-19 11:47:15

OP: weird assumption
Other posters: what are you on
OP: tumbleweed.

RiddleyW Wed 27-Mar-19 11:37:29

How about this person? Boy up the front, gender fluid at the back maybe?

lexiconmistress Wed 27-Mar-19 11:37:01

*bobbles and clips, and plaits and buns You’re chosing hairstyle and accessories stereotypically associated with girls. Setting people up to get it wrong by using stereotypical cues

Minimal stereotypes would be not using bobbles and clips, and plaits and buns on a boy or girl. You’d eschew such items in favour of more neutral.youre not being minimal*

A thing isn't a stereotype in its own right. It only becomes a stereotype when it's associated with something in particular. Bobbles, plaits etc. are not inherently a female stereotype and so when used on or by a boy they cease to be stereotypes. Indeed they provide balance instead.

Many things are gender stereotyped, from sports to clothing to activities to behaviours. Taking football as an example are you really suggesting that, to eschew stereotypes a girl shouldn't play football, because true 'minimal stereotyping' means not using them at all? Because that's the logical conclusion of your assertion.

exWifebeginsat40 Wed 27-Mar-19 10:55:48

you’re going to be baffled when you learn about Status Quo.

FrenchJunebug Wed 27-Mar-19 10:54:37

oh and Yes I do live in North London smile

FrenchJunebug Wed 27-Mar-19 10:54:04

Seriously?! My son is 8 and has long hair. It has nothing to do with gender fluidity but with the fact he like his hair long.

JessieMcJessie Wed 27-Mar-19 10:53:20

Here in Middle Class North London there is barely one little boy with a short back and sides- it’s all cascading curls round here. Short hair is a class marker, not a gender one!
(My own DS has short hair because I CBA with whining when it comes to washing and brushing).

I do however agree that it’s interesting that you rarely see little girls with short hair - maybe a very short little bob but never cut in at the back. My hair was like that age 10 to 12 ish and everyone called me “Son”. I can’t remember why I even had it cut like that.

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