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Mistook a boy for a girl

(156 Posts)
justmakemeacuppa Tue 26-Mar-19 20:14:47

Was in the park with the kids and my youngest was sat at the top of the slide while a kid was sat behind her. So as any parents would encouraged my kid to go down by saying the little girl at the back of you wants to go down the slide.
Kid then turns round and says I’m a boy! Was a bit taken off guard and didn’t really know how to reply other than sorry. This kid had lovely long blond hair tied up in a ponytail and baggy shorts which could have been mistaken for a skirt but it was the hair that made me think he was a girl.
So now I’m wondering have I just come across a gender fluid family? Does SHE want to be a boy are in fact is he a boy that just likes his blond hair ? I’m happy to go along with anyone’s choices in life but surely if he doesn’t want to be mistaken for a girl you’d not have a girls hair cut.? Or maybe mum doesn’t give him a choice as he did have lovely hair? He did seem upset I called him a girl though. Just mentioned it as I keep reading about people bringing their kids up gender neutral and wondering if this is going to become more of a thing letting kids decide their own gender.

CosyAsAToasty Wed 27-Mar-19 10:48:26

Have a cuppa and move on - who cares TBH.

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 27-Mar-19 10:46:56

Ds has always had long hair.

When he was younger it was white blonde and waist lengths.

It has been cut a few times over the years but he does like it long.

He is now a 6 footer and training in a trade. Just about to do a course in brick laying

Would you think a female with short hair is gender fluid

SmarmyMrMime Wed 27-Mar-19 10:42:10

DS has long hair. He's very happy to conform to most masculine clichés going apart from not being fussed about football. Life is too short and busy to drag him up to the hairdressers every 3 weeks. His hair suits him longer, and having odd, tufty crowns and cows licks, it sits much better from the weight of the length rather than looking like a worn out toilet brush.

Funnily, people thought he was a girl most when he was a bald baby. It must have been his lushious eyelashes.

Bluntness100 Wed 27-Mar-19 10:33:56

Jesus, it's come to this level of lunacy?

It's a small kid with long hair. He corrected you forceably and ensured yiu knew he was a boy, loads of boys have long hair at that age, and older.

Seriously, get a grip.

madeindevon2 Wed 27-Mar-19 10:30:52

my daughter often wears boys clothes/trousers t shirts etc and has short hair
she doesn't want to be a boy. she is a girl she just likes trousers and short hair!!!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Wed 27-Mar-19 10:28:38

When I was a child I had very short hair like a boy and was always mistaken for a boy. I HATED it. I was happy when my mum let me have longer hair.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Wed 27-Mar-19 10:27:52

There’s quite a few boys with long hair, and girls with short hair, among the families I know. And they all wear clothes (funnily enough!) in a variety of colours. A few of the families are quite intentional about avoiding gender stereotypes. None of them are “gender fluid”.

outpinked Wed 27-Mar-19 10:27:23

I chose not to cut my DS’s hair until he was three. It was so curly, glossy and lovely. He was often mistaken for a girl regardless of what he wore. Not gender fluid or anything, I just loved his hair grin.

MaryShelley1818 Wed 27-Mar-19 10:25:51

My 1yr old DS has beautiful blonde curls, and a very ‘pretty’ face (big blue eyes and long lashes). He’s a very stereotypical boy and wears boyish clothing and enjoys boyish toys but is still often mistaken for a girl. I haven’t had his hair cut yet as it’s absolutely gorgeous but also because the couple of times I’ve had to trim his fringe he’s hated it. When he’s old enough to choose I’m happy for him to have his hair however he wants.

M3lon Wed 27-Mar-19 10:01:00

On the issue of why almost no girls under the age of 7 have short hair, I believe this is because almost no children under the age of 7 would chose to have short hair, without being acclimatised to it through constant cutting. So boys having short hair is the result of parental pressure and not choice. There is no pressure on girls to not appear 'girly' and hence they get to exert their actual choice.

HotpotLawyer Wed 27-Mar-19 06:27:19

“Gender can't be changed. There are two genders but a heck of a lot of mental illnesses unfortunately.”

Sex can’t be changed, it is in our DNA. Gender is made up and we can do with it what we will.

HotpotLawyer Wed 27-Mar-19 06:25:34

All you had to say was “oh yes, so you are”. End of story.

b0bb1n Wed 27-Mar-19 06:24:11

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

floribunda18 Wed 27-Mar-19 06:18:13

Who cares? People often thought DD2 was a boy up to the age of four or five, purely because she had short hair, it seemed (it took a long time to grow to any length at all as it was so fair and fine).

twattymctwatterson Wed 27-Mar-19 06:16:57

Wtf is "assigned sex"? Sex is biological, we don't assign it. It's apparent at birth (barring an identifiable medical condition).

Winifredgoose Wed 27-Mar-19 06:08:25

Your post is so depressing. Just because a boy wants long hair/pink clothes/to push a buggy, it doesn't make them gender fluid ffs. It just means his parents aren't forcing him to conform to our societies gender stereotypes. The boy clearly told you he was a boy. End of.

Bibijayne Wed 27-Mar-19 06:00:53

Lots of little boys don't like having their hair cut. Pretty clear he was a boy.

my2bundles Wed 27-Mar-19 05:28:59

To add. I watched a kid like Jake yesturday. What I got from tbe film was that this little 4 year old boy just liked playing with dolls and dressing up in princess dresses. He was quick to be labelled by the kindergarten staff who saw this as a problem. The stress caused the parents alot of worry, but overcharging exactly? My son age 4 was like Jake in tne film, he played with dolls, wore princess dresses etc etc, but by age 6 this stopped. Most of his friends went thro this stage aswell. There seems to be such a trend to instantly label kids now or assume thete is a problem when it's actually normal. It's bizarre and upsetting g.

RiddleyW Wed 27-Mar-19 05:24:46

Sorry my second paragraph is garbled - little boys being girly is shameful that should read.

MrsDrSpencerReid Wed 27-Mar-19 05:22:08

My DS’s best friend and his older brother have long hair. They’re just boys with long hair confused Sometines the get mister for girls and they just correct them.

My friend has a little girl in kinder who has blonde hair with a shaved patch over her ear with a spiderweb shaved into it because her brother got one and she thought it was really cool, but also didn’t want to loose her Rapunzel hair grin

RiddleyW Wed 27-Mar-19 05:14:27

You don’t see half as many little girls with short hair as little boys with long hair. Interesting that

Can you elaborate on why that’s interesting? It’s the opposite of the usual situation if correct (which it isn’t for my area).

In most spheres little girls being “boyish” is fine and little girls being “girly” is shameful. I presume because being more boyish represents a glorious upgrade whereas being more girlish is a humiliating climb down. A good example of this is that it’s cool to give a girl a name that are traditionally masculine but the reverse doesn’t hold.

morallowground Wed 27-Mar-19 05:04:19

Oh op it’s 5am and I’m awake with a poorly child, you’ve given me a laugh with the level of effort you’ve put into this situation.
If I accidentally called a girl a boy or vice versa I would say sorry and then carry on with my day and never give it a second thought.
I feel like maybe this is a wind up knowing what a controversial topic this is on mumsnet. If not you’ve just completely redefined over thinking for me.

my2bundles Wed 27-Mar-19 04:57:13

Not gender fluid no, what is this bizarre obsession to label kids now? Lots of boys/men have long hair. Lots of them tis it back to keep it tidy while they play/take part in sport. It's not new either, think about 60s 70s 80s so many famous singers/actors/sports men all with long hair.

AttheShriekingshack Wed 27-Mar-19 02:36:29

My four yr old son has hair to his shoulders, its white blonde and curly AND too bloody gorgeous to cut off!!! He often has a "man bun" during nursery and at the park.

He is a boy. Having long hair doesn't make males female or non-binary.

PregnantSea Wed 27-Mar-19 02:31:27

He's just a boy who looked like a girl. He probably gets that a lot. I wouldn't give it anymore thought. The whole gender fluid thing is nonsense anyway. If someone corrects you and says "no, I'm boy/girl" then just go with what they've said. Problem solved.

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