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is it me or is this a bit insenstive ?

(48 Posts)
BrieAndChilli Tue 26-Mar-19 13:31:25

looking for mothers day gift for MIL and came across this

basically implying that if your dont have grandkids wou are a bad mother!!
My mother has grandkids and shes an awful mother!
plus the best mothers in the world may never get to be a grandma due for various reasons such as infertility, child chossing not to have kids, kids being in a same sex relationship and not being able to havekids/adopt, death etc et c

Isadora2007 Tue 26-Mar-19 13:34:55

It’s just a gift for an existing Nana. Not a slur on those who don’t have grandkids. Yabu.

12thofnever Tue 26-Mar-19 13:39:21

No, I think it’s just a way of saying that you think your mum is great.

PregnantSea Tue 26-Mar-19 13:39:58

YABVU. It's just a wooden plaque with a meaningless platitude carved into it. If you don't like it then you don't have to buy it.

GiveMeFiveMinutes Tue 26-Mar-19 13:40:46

I think you are reading a bit too much in to this.

Do you think that nothing ought to be manufactured that isn't 100% inclusive of everyone?

What about all of the "mum" slogan mugs etc? Should they not be made in case it offends those who can't have children?

Come to think about it, perhaps the whole concept of Mother's Day is offensive?

Get a grip.

FlirtyRomanticToast Tue 26-Mar-19 15:19:50

I love it. I'd love to get that for my own mum but I don't think I'd get it in time now. I'd definitely buy it if I saw it in a shop.

CandyCreeper Tue 26-Mar-19 15:34:09

Are you always this easily offended?

Orchidflower1 Tue 26-Mar-19 15:36:42

There’s always going to be somebody who is offended by the most innocuous thing.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Tue 26-Mar-19 15:39:53

Nice stealth advertising there OP. Are you the seller?

Travis1 Tue 26-Mar-19 15:42:45

Jesus 🙄 YABridiculouslyU

burritofan Tue 26-Mar-19 15:43:56

I'd rather never have grandchildren than be given something that ugly anyway tbh

ittakes2 Tue 26-Mar-19 15:46:26

Yabu - you are usually only shopping for Nanna presents if you have a Nanna to shop for!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Tue 26-Mar-19 15:46:54

It must be a disease or syndrome , the rising levels of sensitivity

NCKitten Tue 26-Mar-19 15:49:34

I think it's stupid and naff and potentially insensitive. Doesn't mean it shouldn't be sold, as sadly I don't make the rules the world would be an infinitely better place if I did

Biancadelrioisback Tue 26-Mar-19 15:52:30


Bluntness100 Tue 26-Mar-19 15:54:51

I really think you're over thinking this, it's a gift for someone who you feel is the best mum/nana, it's not a spite gift for someone who isn't.

Tinkobell Tue 26-Mar-19 15:57:26

I suppose if you were someone desperately waiting for grandkids I could see how that might strike a raw nerve. By the same town if there was a plaque that said "only the best women get promoted to mums" everyone would throw their arms in the air and declare that as cruel and untrue. Personally, I just see that plaque a dumb and brainless, you're over thinking it.

CheeseCakeSunflowers Tue 26-Mar-19 16:00:00

As the Mother of adult offspring who have not yet made me a Nanna, I can only think, phew at least I've dodged that piece of tat.

AliceLiddel Tue 26-Mar-19 16:02:32

surely by your logic thats like saying if i buy my mum a "best mum in the world" or "number one mum" card, it means im saying your mum is shit by comparison? YABU.

HelloBrass Tue 26-Mar-19 16:04:53

I agree that it's 100% tat, but as someone struggling to conceive this does make me feel sad for my mum. She's an amazing mum and would be a fantastic gran. I don't think YBU.

GoldenHour Tue 26-Mar-19 16:05:56

It's tacky and gross though I wouldn't over think it. Wonder what people would say if it said "only the best women get promoted to mothers".

downcasteyes Tue 26-Mar-19 16:19:19

I think for those who are going through the upset and misery of IVF or a diagnosis of infertility, this is upsetting. Someone having kids or grandkids is no sign of their moral or social worth.

It's like a lot of those pieces of tat, though - idiot phrases for idiot people. Why anyone would want to bedeck their house with such tackiness is completely beyond me.

missbattenburg Tue 26-Mar-19 16:26:21

There are indeed lots of reasons why someone might not become a granny in which seeing this plaque for sale might be insensitive. I'm struggling to imagine why those people might be searching for such a thing in the first place, though?

surely by your logic thats like saying if i buy my mum a "best mum in the world" or "number one mum" card, it means im saying your mum is shit by comparison?

Hilarious! My brother (who does not always pay attention like he should) once bought our actual mum a "You're just like a mother to me" card. Now THAT'S insensitive grin

NKFell Tue 26-Mar-19 16:27:05

I think you are reading a bit too much in to this. <--- THIS

Sorry OP but YABU!

zoellafortitude Tue 26-Mar-19 16:29:34

I'm upset that I will never be a grandmother, but I didn't want children so I didn't really think that one through to its logical conclusion grin

Yabbers Tue 26-Mar-19 16:32:22

Don’t like it? Don’t buy it.

SerenDippitty Tue 26-Mar-19 16:33:32

Potentially insensitive. Reminds me of something I saw on FB "grandchildren are the reward for everything you've done right in life". So those without are being punished for something??

onalongsabbatical Tue 26-Mar-19 16:35:47

It's just like those world's best mum mugs, it doesn't exclude other mums it's just a piece of merchandise designed to make money for someone and cheer up the recipient and make them feel loved. Nothing more.

Imacliche Tue 26-Mar-19 16:39:09

Ffs. The world is going mad
Remember when people werent offended at everything they came across..the world was a happier place

TheOrigFV45 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:40:44

Clinton's is full of cards which say Best Dad, Best Mum, Best Sister etc.

Maybe the staff should be running checks to see whether the recipient actually is the best whatever.

If I don't become a grandmother I am not so egocentric as to think it will be down to me, but rather the choice my children have made, or the circumstances they find themselves.

AvonBarksdale99 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:41:56

To be fair it would be a bit insensitive if you gave it to a mum who had adult children but no grandchildren grin

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:42:03

It’s not saying that at all OP. I think it’s absolutely naff though and wouldn’t buy because of that.

KNain Tue 26-Mar-19 16:45:34

My MIL has one of these signs.

She bought it for herself!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Tue 26-Mar-19 16:46:22

No more offensive than a similarly twee plaque saying "Live Your Dreams!" would be to the dead and to insomniacs.

It's a bit like those 'hilarious' hmm signs you sometimes see on people's drives saying "Alfa Romeo Parking only - all other vehicles will be crushed!!!!!!!!!!" I've seen plenty of variations of this sign, none of which are applicable to the make of car that I drive. I've yet to feel mortally offended by any of them.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Tue 26-Mar-19 16:52:24

To be fair it would be a bit insensitive if you gave it to a mum who had adult children but no grandchildren grin

You wouldn't, though, would you?! Unless you wanted to really make a PA point grin

brizzlemint Tue 26-Mar-19 16:56:04

YABU. It's a bit of meaningless tat.

TheOrigFV45 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:58:10

Anyway OP, why are you looking for a gift for your MIL, she is not your Mother.

I won't want my DIL choosing me a gift for Mother's Day, I would like my sons to get me a card.

Rachie1973 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:59:47

My lovely little granddaughters got me this out of their pocket money. It may be ‘cheap tat’ but they were so proud of themselves lol.

Bezalelle Tue 26-Mar-19 17:00:10

Its main offence is utter tackiness! Who would have such a thing?

Lweji Tue 26-Mar-19 17:03:03

It's clearly false, but in the same way that "best mum" tags are too.

EleanorLavish Tue 26-Mar-19 17:20:29

Does Nanna have two 'N's?
(Misses point)

DonttouchthatLarry Tue 26-Mar-19 17:30:32

Does Nanna have two 'N's?

Yes, otherwise it's short for banana grin

EleanorLavish Tue 26-Mar-19 17:34:21

I always thought it was Nana?
But I'm Irish and the majority here go for Granny or variations of that.

ScreamingValenta Tue 26-Mar-19 17:39:55

I agree with you, OP. Tat like this adds subtly to society's narrative that women only have worth if they have children.

SandyY2K Tue 26-Mar-19 19:24:06

I suppose if you're a Grandma who wants GC, it might hit a nerve....but that's obviously not the intention.

I can imagine my DM would like the words... the plaque itself isn't everyone's cup of tea though.


Anyway OP, why are you looking for a gift for your MIL, she is not your Mother.

I won't want my DIL choosing me a gift for Mother's Day, I would like my sons to get me a card

Sometimes your darling sons can't be arsed /find it hard and ask their wives/GFs to buy a gift.

I remember my MIL saying since DH and I got married, she's got some really lovely gifts.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 26-Mar-19 19:31:20

YANBU I hate that stuff. Really makes my teeth itch.

Squigglesworth Tue 26-Mar-19 19:42:41

I do think it's kind of obnoxious, to be honest. As someone without children, it's the type of thing that can stir up some guilt-pangs about my not "giving my parents grandchildren". They've never guilt-tripped me about it, but it does cross my mind from time to time (such as when I see something like that plaque), because I know they'd love more grandchildren and would be wonderful grandparents to my theoretical, non-existent children.

That said, it is much too easy to offend people, these days. We can't tiptoe around everyone's feelings all the time, because even the most innocuous things can hurt someone or be perceived as "insensitive".

Overstory Tue 26-Mar-19 21:40:54

I agree, YANBU. It's a horrid sentiment.

It's not like "best mum" mugs, which is clearly expressed as a personal opinion about an individual. It's like a "only the best women get upgraded to mum" mug or something on that line. It's placing being a grandmother as a superior and so kind of meritocracy.

It's also patently untrue.

And it wouldn't only be seen in shops, presumably the intention is for it to be displayed within the home, for friends and family to see.

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