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I can't buy my mum a Mother's Day present at 31 y.o

(84 Posts)
ExtraPineappleExtraHam Tue 26-Mar-19 08:49:55

We are very very skint at the moment. Tax credits have been stopped till May, have to pay £800 in childcare and the car has just died. I have absolutely no spare money at all, except £5 for a bunch of flowers. I've got a card and I'll get the kids to make her something but I feel awful.
The week after Mother's Day we're going away for a week in a caravan (me, the kids and my parents) and I'll be able to buy her a cream tea or two then. I've also paid for the holiday so do you think this is an ok substitute or will she be annoyed she has nothing to open?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 26-Mar-19 08:52:30

Don’t get caught in the Mother’s Day hype!
She will understand I’m sure. I hope she will anyway.

Isitteayourlookingfor Tue 26-Mar-19 08:53:09

it depends on what she’s like in general. I’d be happy with that but my mum is like a petty child and wouldn’t even notice that I was struggling

InDubiousBattle Tue 26-Mar-19 08:58:53

I'd be cross with you for spending a fiver on flowers if you had no spare money at all, I'd want you to keep hold of it. Something homemade from the grandkids and a card is absolutely fine.

bagpiss Tue 26-Mar-19 09:00:52

You could make your own voucher for the holiday cream tea if you're definitely going to have enough to cover that.

cstaff Tue 26-Mar-19 09:01:30

I know my mum would be really upset if she knew that we had spent our last fiver on her for mothers day. That would certainly upset her a lot more than getting no present.

Halloumimuffin Tue 26-Mar-19 09:03:44

You're skint with a load of unforseeable expenses, have paid for her to have a holiday, and you are worried she won't have anything to open on a day made up by the card companies? If she was annoyed by that she'd be very selfish.

BeautyWasTheBeast Tue 26-Mar-19 09:04:16

My mum would hate for me to spend my last fiver on a present for her. She'd be happy with a card (a few pence from card factory or homemade) and a visit from the grandkids.

swimrunfun Tue 26-Mar-19 09:05:52

For you to post this shows that you're a thoughtful and loving daughter.

I really hope your mum appreciates the efforts you're going to. That's in an ideal world. I don't know your mum so can't say.

I'd be happy with a cup of tea and a hug. My mum would be pissed off with nothing less than a big fanfare and gushing words of appreciation for her having selflessly procreated and given birth to me even if I was skint and suffering from a debilitating disease.

Wolfiefan Tue 26-Mar-19 09:06:15

Honestly? I’m really hoping for something very special from my kids. Something I will treasure for ever and that will mean the world to me. A hug.
Presents are lovely. But spending time with my kids is much more precious.

zoellafortitude Tue 26-Mar-19 09:06:42

I think your plan sounds perfectly acceptable. The sentiment is there -
flowers, a card, her grandchildren making her something. Plus, a holiday to look forward to.

You know your mother best - would she really be annoyed that you are skint? I hope not.

At least you are spending lots of time with her and share your life with her. Don't get caught up in the overly-lavish showing-off FB stuff some people get into. It's not about how much money you spend.

Hope you all have a lovely day on Sunday.

SmallFastPenguin Tue 26-Mar-19 09:10:28

You have given her a holiday! That sounds very generous in your situation. If she is a nice person she will understand your situation and want to help. I once gave my mum a homemade gift of a jar of loving messages when I was a bit hard up and she loved that and has always kept it.

HeathRobinson Tue 26-Mar-19 09:12:31

I like to have a photo of my adult kids every year - could you do that? Take a nice pic on your phone and send it to her.

Hyacintharehighersincelasttime Tue 26-Mar-19 09:19:03

a bunch of daffodils are cheap

Serialweightwatcher Tue 26-Mar-19 09:19:19

Doubt she'd mind, but if you want to do something could you make her a cake, buns or truffles maybe?

AnnaMagnani Tue 26-Mar-19 09:22:24

You are skint and you are about to go on holiday with her.

What kind of a heartless mother would have a hissy fit about not having something to open on Mothers Day because she'd rather put her daughter in poverty?

Plus you are an adult now with kids of your own. Surely Mothers Day is now a card and flowers? confused

theresafoxunderthedecking Tue 26-Mar-19 09:23:06

not helpful to you, but this is why i don't do any of this stuff, mothers day, birthdays etc. you are all going to have a great holiday and that will be remembered far longer than a bunch of flowers that die and a piece of over priced card. have a fun time together and let's hope the sun shines smile

MaysLostIt Tue 26-Mar-19 09:23:13

My Mum died this morning.

Just call yours and tell her you love her. That will be enough.

Sunonthepatio Tue 26-Mar-19 09:24:45

Just tell her holiday only this year.

CaMePlaitPas Tue 26-Mar-19 09:25:48

@MaysLostIt

Your post hit me like a train. I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

CherryPavlova Tue 26-Mar-19 09:27:10

Just be honest. Maybe make a cake, if you have ingredients in stock.

ivykaty44 Tue 26-Mar-19 09:28:27

I’ve asked mine to spend some time with me, not interested in presents but presence. I lost my own mum at 31 and time can’t be replaced, gifts you can purchase anytime

fullprice Tue 26-Mar-19 09:28:48

@MaysLostIt So sorry to hear you lost your mother this morning.

MaysLostIt Tue 26-Mar-19 09:29:45

@CaMePlaitPas

Sorry. It was a couple of hours ago. I think I'm shocked tbh, but not shocked at the same time. Cancer. We've known for the last couple of weeks it was close to the end. No more pain.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel Tue 26-Mar-19 09:29:52

Another annual 'event' which has been hyped to the hilt. Must buy card, flowers, chocolates, present, lunch, etc. My mother hated Mother's Day and actively told me not to buy her anything. Again, the true meaning of Mothering Sunday has been lost in the mists of time - it was originally invented so that servants had a day off to visit their mothers!!

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