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AIBU to not want to pay in full?

(185 Posts)
Lincspeeps Tue 26-Mar-19 07:57:52

DD is in before and after-school childcare in a small place near Peterborough. We used them for DS for three years and DD has been there for five years. Never had any problems with them and have got to know staff very well.

Last week we had a call to say that due to an admin oversight our cheques from May and July 2018 have never been banked (total of £580) and as they are almost 9 and 11 months old they need replacements as the bank won't take them.

We hadn't realised they hadn't been banked and, being honest, that money is no longer available. Obviously an error on their part and on ours. We have offered to pay them £100 per month but they want it all or they won't accommodate DS after Easter.

AIBU to not want to pay it all out. We would have to go into overdrafts to find the lump sum and would be charged. As it's a dual error I don't think £100 per month for six months is unreasonable....is it?

Hyacintharehighersincelasttime Tue 26-Mar-19 08:51:41

Why did you notice the cheques werent being banked?
how bizarre

try and persuade them you can pay in instalments would be my suggestion.

Jessbow Tue 26-Mar-19 08:52:09

An 11 month old cheque is no longer valid? Since when?

Has they just paid them in yesterday , you'd be up a creek without a paddle today then. You need to pay them.

Tohaveandtohold Tue 26-Mar-19 08:53:06

I think yanbu to want a payment plan. It’s their error and you want to pay but not just all at once. You have to pay them anyway but ask them if you can pay them £200 monthly instead as £100 seem low

IchWill Tue 26-Mar-19 08:53:09

@SweetPetrichor "The simple answer is learn from your mistake and actually manage your finances like an adult"

That's harsh on the OP and actually quite rude. It's not her mistake. It's theirs, your response is rather patronising.

OP - I agree it's incredibly unfair and while I think we're all in agreement that you certainly owe the money, I do think you're offer of paying it back in chunks is more than reasonable.

See if you can get some other mums there on side, be firm but polite with the nursery and explain your circumstances, pointing out the length of your custom and clean payment history. If it falls on deaf ears, escalate it to the trustees or governors as per a PP's advice. Good luck.

SosigDog Tue 26-Mar-19 08:53:10

Of course a payment plan is reasonable. How do you suggest people should magic up the money to pay debts? If it went to court they would get a County Court Judgment which looks at OP’s finances and sets an affordable monthly repayment. And tbh the judge would probably tell them off for wasting the court’s time because OP has already offered a reasonable payment plan.

Hyacintharehighersincelasttime Tue 26-Mar-19 08:53:43

so if you dont pay they never get your money?
can you go somewhere else for childcare?

cantbearsed1 Tue 26-Mar-19 08:54:51

Yes that is true in terms of what the court would say about a payment plan. But the OP has the issue about further care from the nursery. And I suspect they will be able to withdraw the place.

mummmy2017 Tue 26-Mar-19 08:56:36

I love how your so broke.
But didn't realise they hadn't cashed the cheques. .
You knew, and you spent the money, their money.
I would not trust you to pay up.
Hence why they are saying upfront now, or move your child.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 26-Mar-19 08:57:01

Cheques can be cashed up to six years old but banks prefer that they are under six months old. They will usually accept them older than that and write to the account holder warning them that the money will come out in 7 days or so; but sometimes they do refer the cheque back to the person who cashed it.

A payment plan isn't unreasonable and small claims would grant you one if your finances warranted it, although you'd have to fill in forms to prove it was required. Have they counter offered your payment plan at all? Do you have somewhere else to send your DD after Easter?

Cannyhandleit Tue 26-Mar-19 08:57:30

On further thought.... you can definitely cash checks older than 11m so I’m thinking you thought you’d got away with not paying, they’ve tried to cash the cheques, cheques bounced!!! That’s different! If that’s the case you’ve knowingly tried to get away without paying, it’s backfired but you still want to use their service and if that is right then yeah I’d also be telling you pay up or you can no longer bring your kids!

Isitteayourlookingfor Tue 26-Mar-19 08:57:37

I don’t think the op is bu at all.

cantbearsed1 Tue 26-Mar-19 08:57:56

I have had banks refuse to take cheques older than 6 months.

SosigDog Tue 26-Mar-19 09:00:09

the nursery has already said no to a payment plan and that they will not take your DC if you do not pay up

That seems stupid though. Regardless of whether they exclude the DC or not, they will still only receive the outstanding money at £100 per month. In fact if I was OP I’d say I’m only willing to pay the £100 if my DC is still at nursery. If they exclude him then I won’t pay a penny and they’ll have to take me to court to get their money.

swingofthings Tue 26-Mar-19 09:01:15

5hey are probably worried that if they don't ask for it in one go and threaten to cancel your child's place otherwise, you'll take him out after a couple of months and then their only avenue is to take you to court which they won't want to do due to costs and trouble.

I agree that it is hard to believe you didn't notice two months of unpaid fees if you have a tight budget. They won't believe it either and will consider that going I you overdraft is an acceptable solution.

Sleepyquest Tue 26-Mar-19 09:02:38

I think they are being unreasonable to not accept your offer of payment. Why on earth didn't they bank your cheques? I think £100 per month on top of new bills is fairly reasonable. I'd write a strongly worded letter to the manager explaining your position and the fact they haven't given you much warning and that you are doing what you can to resolve it. In future, I wouldn't pay by cheque because they sound incompetent.

thesnapandfartisinfallible Tue 26-Mar-19 09:04:06

I wouldn't notice £500 right away. I'm skint in no way rich but have several DDs coming out every other month and 2 monthly ones. I also work for commission which is paid in arrears and don't always look at my pay slip as soon as it goes in. I have a rough idea of what I have to play with but not exact.

pepperpot99 Tue 26-Mar-19 09:05:20

YABU OP. Yes it was a very annoying oversight on their part but as other people say you would not stand for being unpaid that amount for work you had done. If you send your dc to a child minder or nursery you need to pay.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 26-Mar-19 09:05:38

Although you need to pay, they are BU in wanting to agree to instalments. In that case, i’d say “fine, we’ll stop using the nursery after Easter and you take me to court for the money because I cannot pay in one go at this moment”. And that will take way longer for them to see the money.

HennyPennyHorror Tue 26-Mar-19 09:06:18

Why do people still use cheques? Baffling...can anyone tell me why they're a preference for some people?

Why not use a card?

TheInvestigator Tue 26-Mar-19 09:07:00

Cheques technically don't go out of date, but most banks will not cash a cheque older than 6 months to help prevent people keeping old cheques, claiming they've lost them and getting new ones. Then cashing the spare months later on, since people don't always cancel cheques. It's a security thing.

HennyPennyHorror Tue 26-Mar-19 09:07:11

be aware that should you choose to let them take your child's place away they will chase you for it and send bailiffs if it gets to that point. Then you will be paying twice as much.

Felford Tue 26-Mar-19 09:08:41

YABU for still using cheques. It's 2019..

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 26-Mar-19 09:09:50

None of the nurseries round here take cheques. It’s DD or nothing.

TokenGinger Tue 26-Mar-19 09:10:32

Those saying how would you feel if your employer didn't pay you, then only gave you £100 a month... That's not what's happened though?

The scenario should be, your employer has given you a cheque with your wages on. You've forgotten to cash it. Now almost a year later, you're going to them to ask for payment in full.

They are being unreasonable. I also would not have noticed that money not being taken at the time. Just as I wouldn't notice more money being taken. My outgoings can vary each month, as does my income, so I wouldn't necessarily notice £250 extra over two months. I get paid on the 15th and by the 21st, all direct debits have gone out so I know that what's left is mine.

They should accept £100 a month.

bigdecisionstomake Tue 26-Mar-19 09:11:00

I think ultimately you have to pay but I think your offer to pay over a period of 6 months is perfectly reasonable and they should accept this. Many years ago I was chair of our local pre-school committee and we had similar where the treasurer mislaid a cheque so it wasn't banked before it went out of date. One of the other mums on the committee was a solicitor and she said that the legal position the court would uphold was that money still had to be paid as the service had been provided but that we must accept any reasonable offer for repayment e.g. over a number of months, as the error in not banking the cheque was ours. As an aside my current job has some financial responsibility and we recently had a cheque cash through our bank that was dated two years previously, so it isn't always a given that cheques can only be banked within 6 months.

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