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To think this woman is being two faced

(13 Posts)
Purplepie453 Mon 25-Mar-19 23:32:54

I've recently started attending a new exercise class in my local town, there I've made friends with a few of the other ladies. We're not friends really outside of the class.but do have general chatter when there and sometimes talk through social media etc. This group of ladies all have children who go to school together so talk while they are dropping/picking children up so naturally they are closer to each other and occasionally go for drinks together. Recently I bumped into a few of them while out for a night with my OH and a few of our friends. It was obvious that one of the ladies in particular had had a bit too much to drink and started telling me how she thought she and I didn't "click" and how she didn't really like me and we could never really get along. I'm not too bothered about that, and apparently she's told a few of the other ladies how she doesn't like talking to me and doesn't think we "click." What I am bothered about is that she obviously doesn't remember telling me this as she has been randomly messaging me to start conversations on social media and via text, especially when it might appear like something bad has happened such as when my OH deleted Facebook because he prefers Twitter so was no longer appearing as my partner on my page.
I just think there's something wrong with a person who tells everyone they don't like someone but then secretly tries to talk to them, strikes me as bitchy and two faced. I'm always polite and will talk with her, I'll talk to anyone really unless they have been very unpleasant but Aibu to be extremely weary around this woman?

SleepingStandingUp Mon 25-Mar-19 23:35:27

Just message her back and say "given the conversation we had on X, I think it's best I respect your opinion" and don't reply

Purplepie453 Mon 25-Mar-19 23:37:58

@sleepingstandingup my OH said similar but I don't want to cause trouble or make things awkward at my zumba class. I hate things like this they remind me silly 15 year old girls and I don't want to have to deal with the bitching.

Myheartbelongsto Mon 25-Mar-19 23:38:46

Maybe she is trying to make amends?

Purplepie453 Mon 25-Mar-19 23:43:44

@myheartbelongsto maybe, it would be nice to think so but there's nothing for her to make amends for in my eyes, not everyone gets along and that's fine but I wish she would be honest about it all.

SleepingStandingUp Mon 25-Mar-19 23:46:50

but I wish she would be honest about it all so be honest with her. How about "X, I'm really confused. On X night you told me you didn't like me, which is fine - you don't have to. But then I don't understand why you keep messaging me"

Myheartbelongsto Mon 25-Mar-19 23:47:40

Maybe she is mortified about what she said when drunk and is making up for it.

Of course you don't have to try with her at all op.

WarpedGalaxy Mon 25-Mar-19 23:50:24

It’s already awkward for you anyway given what she said so what difference will it make if you block her so she can’t message? If she asks why just say you’re locking down your social media and confining it to family and very close friends. She can’t make you engage in school yard games; you can’t control what she does on,y how you react to it. So, don’t react, just keep it polite and friendly at the class, if she wants to make something of it then that’s on her and she’s the one who’ll look juvenile.

SadSackStruggling Mon 25-Mar-19 23:51:50

So she knows you superficially, in a drunken moment admitted her true feelings towards you but wants to keep communication open in order to get interesting gossip about your life?
She sounds familiar.

Keep it superficial. Don't give her information about your life. Let her find her gossip elsewhere, once you invite someone like that into your life you get to play a part in their drama. It's shit.
She's already let you see what she's all about when you was too drunk to keep her mouth shut.
Avoid where possible I'd say.

Lizzie48 Tue 26-Mar-19 00:32:00

I agree with PPs, avoid her as far as possible. Be friendly at the zumba class, but don't give her any ammunition to gossip about.

You don't really know her; if she's going to be juvenile, that's on her, you don't have to join in.

I would block her. She's clearly stalking your Facebook account for things she can gossip about, like your OH disappearing from your Facebook page. Quite frankly, I don't troll my friends' Facebook profile pages to look for fodder to gossip about. That's quite bizarre, seeing as she barely knows you.

TheSerenDipitY Tue 26-Mar-19 00:57:08

Is it weird that its not my first thought to look up someone i have just met or see once a week at the gym on facebook?

EmeraldShamrock Tue 26-Mar-19 01:11:25

She is a two faced cow. I wouldn't remind her but I would give her the cold shoulder or be super nice to her.
She is a spoil sport I really hate this carry on, you're all out to enjoy a fun class, bit of chat.
I bet the others know exactly what she is like. Keep your head high.

Purplepie453 Tue 26-Mar-19 03:26:42

Thank you everyone, yeah I'll just avoid her I don't want to get sucked into playground games. I'm going go delete her off Facebook and I'll just be honest myself about and just say about X night and how she cmyad confused me etc.

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