AIBU to ask for a handhold on the first night in new house alone?(15 Posts)
I've just moved into a beautiful new house in a lovely area not far from my previous home.
The house is beautiful, and will make a lovely home but it doesn't feel like my own yet.
As pathetic as it is, can someone tell me it will be okay?
I struggle with anxiety so I think it's just that making me feel a bit odd...
Change is difficult, even if it’s change we choose and plan for. It will be ok.
It can take a little while but once you’ve fully unpacked, added the personal touches that make it yours and starting making memories you’ll feel better
I recently bought my dream house, but the first night in it was one of the most miserable of life - I slept on the sofa, was freezing because I couldn’t work the heating and I had to climb over boxes to get to the toilet. I also discovered that the electric shower didn’t work and I couldn’t get the hot water on for a bath (not that it mattered as I couldn’t get to the bath anyway). I was up most of the night missing my little flat and regretting moving, I was so miserable.
However, I spent the next day crazily unpacking, getting my furniture in the right place and figuring out the heating. The second and third nights were ok, and by the end of the week the house started to look like a home instead of an abandoned squat.
By the end of the first fortnight, I was in love with my house and over the last few months I’ve really put my stamp on it and wouldn’t want to be living anywhere else. I don’t like change (this was the first time I’d moved in 15 years!) and I think the anxiety and ‘what have I done’ feelings are normal for a lot of people. Once your belongings are unpacked it’ll feel like it’s yours instead of someone else’s and you’ll get settled in no time.
Congratulations on your new house, you’ll be right at home soon enough
I had this too! Don’t worry, completely normal. I felt fine after a week or so, congratulations
If it makes you feel any better, it's not your anxiety. Nearly everyone feels like this when they move into their house. It will dissappear when you unpack, devorate and get used to the fact that the toilet is yours and not someone elses.
I hvae to admit the toilet was just a breakthrough for me😂 First few days it felt like I am using bathroom in a house I am a guest in. And that makes me really uncomfortable. Few days in and suddenly it dawned on me that it is my own toilet and everything got better since.
Oooh, I remember this, it’s unsettling. Gets better!
This has took me back to when I first moved in to this house. It had been empty for a while and had a smell. Not a bad smell, just a smell. When we’ve been on holiday and it’s been empty for a few weeks, it has that smell again. Takes me back.
I’ve lived here over 20 years now and I still love it.
Congratulations on your new home x
I moved into a house I hated (long story) and it took a while to settle but once I did it was definitely home. You'll feel more settled soon OP.
Totally normal. Put some music on, something you love, light a candle or spray some perfume around. Try to convince all your senses this is home.
Thank you so much everyone
Got some scented candles on, diffusers out and Netflix on so feeling a little better!
Our first night in our current house, I cried and dh nearly did. It poured rain all day as we moved ( we had 2 men with a truck but lots ourselves too). A DAunt and DUncle (retired) we’re going to help but couldn’t on the morning so getting the keys was problematic (that was their main task). And we had done a lot to leave our old house (a 2 year old new build - just too difficult a commute and no neighbourhood spirit) in good condition and properly cleaned.
The previous owner had left a lot of rubbish despite it being specified to remove them (she’d offered the fridge and cooker for sale and we rejected them, saying they must be removed, for example) but in taking bathroom fittings (big pine things we were happy for her to take) she just ripped them out of the wall and left huuuuuge holes. And everywhere was filthy - she had only visited from Spain for a month a year for the previous 5 years...and hadn’t cleaned as she left.
1980s chintz carpets and faded and very dusty flowery curtains. Great for my asthma. (Curtains were also supposed to be gone).
Couldn’t get the gas to work so no heating. Lightbulbs gone so rubbish lighting (we had bought a few bulbs but not enough for the house and wrong type for chandelier-type fitting in sitting room).
We ate out takeaway off our laps, on our own, looking at pouring rain and boxes everywhere, wondering why on earth we had done this.
Next day, we started to get unpacked and we also started to meet the neighbors. I think we were invited in to dinner either that night or the following night.
We are here now for 16 years, and so so happy with the house. And the neighbours. And the area.
But that very first night was a real “WTF have we done?” moment.
Also excitement causes the same sensations as anxiety, instead of thinking those feelings are anxiety try and see them as excitement and make yourself smile. Focus on how lovely its going to be and its all yours
Just about to do our 7th house move in 6 years, I hear you. It is unsettling and I dont want to move again but hopefully this is our last move in a very long time. I just make sure I have all my home comforts around me and it seems to help.
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