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Aibu to think there's more to life than this?

(28 Posts)
Holidaylover Mon 25-Mar-19 17:27:04

Hi i just need a little moan, feeling a bit sorry for myself. I am so very lucky to be a stay at home parent but gosh I'm lonely and stuck in a rut. All of my children are now im school so I'm alone during the day. Every day is groundhog day.

I am mid 30s and for various reasons I now have no friends. Its just hubby, kids and I.
Whilst I love doing things as a family I don't have my own social life.

I have not been out dancing for 10 years. I miss it. I have not been out to lunch with a friend for a long time. I arent able to go to spa days, girly shopping trips, meals out, girly holidays etc because i don't have anyone to do it with. I see lots of people on social media doing these things and it gets to me.

Most of the time I accept this is how life is for me but sometimes I like today when it's lovely and sunny I feel really lonely and like I'm missing out and life is passing me by.

Does anyone else feel like this? What can I do to make myself feel better?

Happynow001 Mon 25-Mar-19 21:22:38

You've had some great advice here OP (and I'm going to steal some of them to apply myself 😄). Adding to those what about Zumba or Aqua Aerobics classes locally. Maybe an art class?

Also what about doing some distance learning? Either something you are just interested in or something targeted which can help when you go back to work and increase your earning power?

Also going to the spa alone can be really restful - I really enjoy going off alone and just chilling out doing things in my own time eg phone on silent, jacuzzi or swimming when I want to, having a massage, a leisurely lunch and reading my book. Maybe look for a dance class (Strictly Come Dancing anyone?). Do some local research and see what's out there!

BackforGood Mon 25-Mar-19 21:28:12

Of course YANBU to think there is more to life than that.
In terms of what you can do about it - there is just so much you could do:

Apply for jobs
Start volunteering - this could be in the day when dc are at school or one or two evenings a week
You could volunteer for something that might be within your comfort zone..... PTA at school? / hearing readers / helping in the classroom at school?........ or using skills you have (maybe volunteering at a lunch club, or for Homestart {you'd need to commit to the time and take some training}, or at a local playgroup r stay and play ?)........ or going a bit outside your comfort zone.

If you want to make friends, get to know more people then there are lots of schemes looking for befrienders - Age UK, MHA, charities for adults with learning difficulties.
If you want to make mre friends your own age, what about joining something more active, like Scouts / Guides / BB or GB / etc.

Take up a hobby that is essentially about chatting with people - Knit and Natter / Rambling Club / Book Club / Crafting Club

What do you want to be doing with your life for the next 40 years ? Would it help to study? Learn new skills ? Get more qualifications, or update those you have ?

Do you want to sing ? Play sport ? Garden ? work with the public ? work with a small team in an office? Fundraise?

deste Mon 25-Mar-19 22:04:00

Join a gym and go to the organised group classes and within a month or so you will start recognising people and they will recognise you. If they go for a coffee afterwards ask if you would mind if you could join them. Zumba classes tend to be very friendly.

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