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If you like a name why do others have to insist on using another name?

(30 Posts)
Greggers2017 Mon 25-Mar-19 17:26:43

We have a baby girl due in 12 weeks time. We have chosen the name Lyla. Both me and DP love the name, however my partners father and my Nana both insist they do not like the name Lyla and will call her Layla when she is with them. AIBU that this really pisses me off?

Greggers2017 Tue 26-Mar-19 18:51:04

Lyla our lie-la. Just said as it looks.

CandyCreeper Tue 26-Mar-19 17:16:52

I had this with my sister. She said she would call my ds a nickname of the name I
liked as she didnt like the first name so I decided against the name as I wasnt keen on the nickname.

MadameButterface Tue 26-Mar-19 17:15:45

it's so bizarre and I have only ever heard of this on mn

I meet plenty of people in life whose names I'm not keen on (don't we all?) and it would never occur to me to be like 'ew I don't like your name Brenda, I think I'll call you Samantha instead' it's just INSANE

tell them they're being crackers and to get over themselves

OneStepSideways Tue 26-Mar-19 17:11:21

Do you pronounce it Lee-la or Lie-la? It's a pretty name, I like it. Might they just be confused over pronounciation?

My friend has called her baby Lyra and I'm puzzled about the pronunciation!

Greggers2017 Tue 26-Mar-19 13:35:52

My nana also did it with my eldest. Her name is amelie and she spent about a year calling her Millie 🤬
Sounds silly but it grates on me ha

Mermaidkisses Tue 26-Mar-19 13:24:02

I had a similar thing 22 years ago!! I named my youngest son Alex ... ex MIL immediately said she preferred Alec and has called him that ever since.

firawla Tue 26-Mar-19 12:30:48

My mil said this with my eldest! Oh I prefer his middle name, I’ll call him that... she never ended up following through and doing it though!

upthewolves Tue 26-Mar-19 12:17:44

Nothing to add (they ABU!) But just wanted to say I love the name you have chosen and almost picked it myself, after the same song! I suspect once she is here this will be a non issue as they will look like dicks.

PregnantSea Tue 26-Mar-19 12:08:55

I think calling someone by the name they have you asked you to is respectful (obviously same goes for parents asking on behalf of a baby/toddler). When someone says they refuse to use the proper name that you have asked them to I take it as massive FU. I would say to them that Lyla won't be staying at their house because they don't respect you or her enough to use her proper name.

Then again I'm quite sensitive about this because I have an unusual name and in the past some people have decided to call me something different (it's not hard to say, it just sounds a bit like a more common name). It absolutely boils my blood and i usually end up completely ignoring that person until they use my real name as I have asked.

lola006 Mon 25-Mar-19 20:04:44

Anytime I hear this (happened to a friend!) I genuinely wonder if the people hate the name and are hoping that you’ll change it by saying they will call the DC something different. In my friends case, she did change her mind because it was her DM threatening, but she ultimately regretted not using her chosen name.

We told people our first DS’s name (bog standard top 10 name) and the comments were so vile that the next 2 were kept quiet until they were born.

PutThatDown10 Mon 25-Mar-19 19:58:56

Wow that's just weird. There's names I'm not keen on but if that's what the parents have chose then that's what I'll call them or if that close maybe a nickname etc but not a different name altogether dismissing their actual name.

I think the only time this would be ok is if the child had an absolutely ridiculous name, but even then it would either be shortened or a nickname.

Greggers2017 Mon 25-Mar-19 19:52:44

@LailaByron that is exactly what we're naming her after. That exact song. We're both huge oasis fans 😊

hopelessatthinkingupusernames Mon 25-Mar-19 19:41:43

My grandad did this with my sister, he said her name wasn’t a real name and always called her another name. My parents ignored him and he stopped when she got older and didn’t answer to this other name

LailaByron Mon 25-Mar-19 19:39:09

Lyla is a beautiful name. Also one of my favourite Oasis songs! Nobody has the right to call your child anything other than what you chose to name her! I’d be pissed off! My DD2 is Imogen and I hate it when people call her ‘Immy’ obviously children pick up nicknames as they get older but nobody has the right to change the name to something ‘They prefer’ 🙄

Stickmanslittleleaf Mon 25-Mar-19 19:30:34

Just stop talking about it with them until she's born and then pull them up on it every time. There's no point arguing the toss now but if they do it to her after correcting them a few times you can get cross and insist they stop and tell them it's upsetting you.

frippit Mon 25-Mar-19 18:17:16

Oh god my MIL used to do this. My daughter is Lauren she insisted on pronouncing it Lawren. She also did this to our cousin who's daughter was named Gerda, she pronounced it Guide-a. Didn't matter how many times you told her she continued to do it. To be honest it made her look silly and affected.
My son's a Sam she couldn't managed to mess that pronunciation up!

Keener Mon 25-Mar-19 18:07:33

Surely it's irrelevant whether they like it or not?

All four of our parents -- who feel all parents should just look up the lists of whatever name is popular and then name their baby the top name, in case it stands out from the crowd and attracts comment -- loathed the unusual name we gave DS (ILs in fact claimed to extended family that he was in fact called something entirely different) and pretended to be unable to pronounce it.

When DS started being able to talk, he told them very straightforwardly that that wasn't his name, and explained to them what his name was, so they pulled their socks up. I'm sure little Lyla will do similar.

Greggers2017 Mon 25-Mar-19 18:01:28

I love grotbags and mick the dick. Ironically my dad used to refer to my Nana as granny grotbags when we were little 😂

It is ridiculous, I agree. It's just so annoying 🤬

CalmdownJanet Mon 25-Mar-19 17:42:47

Grotbags and Mick the Dick brilliant, you should totally do this! I was going to suggest the same only I was saying boring names like Gladys and Jo but grotbags and Mick the dick are way better

BurrSir Mon 25-Mar-19 17:40:24

I have only ever heard of this on MN! Imagine having the gall to say that to someone. Lyla is lovely by the way.

Ohyesiam Mon 25-Mar-19 17:39:45

Well that obviously means that you can pick a few choice names for them.
They are being beyond rude.

pigsDOfly Mon 25-Mar-19 17:38:30

They're idiots and they're being ridiculous.

So what if they don't like the name, her name will be Lyla it's not up to them to change her name. It would piss me off too.

As it happens I don't like my DGS name, several of us in the family don't like it, but it's his name, the name his parents chose and it's the name we call him.

I'm trying to imagine the reaction I would get from my DD if I announced I was going to call him something else. We're pretty close, but I imagine she'd feel very much inclined to never speak to me again.

ShaggyRug Mon 25-Mar-19 17:38:14

I’d just ask them why they’d be so mean to a child as to not use their name? And then tell them that if they are going to be so mean from the start then you’ll be keeping your child away from them.

What a pair of utter idiots they are.

SneakyGremlins Mon 25-Mar-19 17:38:08

Well they won't be meeting her then will they? After all, you don't HAVE a child called Layla so whoever they're looking forward to meeting isn't your daughter..

cheesypastanow Mon 25-Mar-19 17:37:56

That's so weirdconfused just let them know the baby's name- spell it out for them too and keep reminding/correcting them so they feel stupid which they are.

I haven't heard of Lyla though, much prefer it over Layla actually!

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