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Needing to rant about DH!!!!!

(46 Posts)
MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 10:18:54

My DH has undertaken a new fitness regime and it's 'doin' ma nut'!

He is overweight, he needs to lose weight. Originally we both started together, both lost weight, both attended exercise classes together (BodyPump so nothing too girly, then he did some on his own and I did some on my own), it was nice. However the years have rolled on, I have kept most of my weight off, he has put all his back on again and has been farting about spending loads of money on gym equipment and a personal trainer because he doesn't fancy the classes anymore.

Now out of the blue he has started an '8 week plan', I know I should be very happy but it is basically a bodybuilder's plan he has embarked on! My DH never does things by halves (wouldn't be suprised if he is on the Aspergers spectrum somewhere) and he has written this plan which is incompatable with family life, consisting of whopping bowls of porridge and four egg omlets most mornings, snacks seem to be chicken drumsticks mostly, meals at wonky times, which despite telling me it wouldn't interfere with family meals in the main he won't eat what we are having. He works from home so all this cooking and eating is taking place in my kitchen. Then he is having these protein shakes, which of course use the hand blender, which he leaves lying on the worktop after every use and then denies it!

He went shopping for himself and filled the fridge with veg that he didn't use, it is not rotting in the crisper section, guess who will have to clean that out!

He is fancinated by the change in his muscles, which is fine, but his belly isn't getting any smaller. I asked if he was going to do some cardio work to shift the lard and strengthen his heart (afterall he did spend £200 on a cross-trainer that he only uses for a 5 min warm-up) and he told me to stop be a "know it all"!

Then there's the state of the kitchen! Before starting this plan he decided he would take on some chores and said he would empty and fill the dishwasher at breakfast and at dinner time, since starting this plan he has stopped doing the dishwasher (although if you quizz him about it he is convinced it is still him that is loading and emptying it ) and compounded matters by creating extra dishes at mealtimes. For example this morning at breakfast he has used a pot, a frying pan, a large mixing bowl, a large whisk, a bowl, a plate, knife, fork, spoon, wooden spoon and a glass (possibly 2), just for one person. He is buying protien powder in these big drum things that don't fit into my kitchen cupboards and taking something ridiculous like 30 supplement tablets a day, which he maintains are totally safe as they are supplements.

Then there is the money, he says £100 a month on the supplements, if I take this up with him he tells me that this is his allowance money (we both have some money to spend on ourselves each month) and he just won't buy other stuff. Then his personal trainer who used to come in every fortnight at a cost roughly equivalent to my gym membership, she now comes in every week, I believe this is supposed to be his fishing money, which leads me to my next question "fishing money", I don't get "fishing money", can I have "fishing money" to spend on things other than going fishing then?

Can I also add that a whole load of shirts that he has just bought in the last couple of months now no longer fit him at the neck, thanks to this regime, and he simply thinks it is entertaining!

MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 10:19:24

Oooops, sorry that's quite a ramble, but I do feel a bit better now.

herbiemom Wed 11-Jul-07 10:58:12

Oh poor you - I know all about the 'fitness regime'. DP makes grand announcements every few months about the new 'regime' - which consists of him giving up smoking, not drinking unless he's out socially, cycling everywhere, eating only fish, asian cuisine and vegetables and fruit.

We usually get about a week of him being very grumpy (no cigarettes), very messy (making smoothies and leaving bits of fruit/dirty blender/dirty glasses,etc all over the worktops all day), very boring ("look at my stomach - it's rock hard, I'm wasting away" and "you should try this, I feel great").

Then after a week or so it's all forgotten about - he's smoking, drinking, eating everything. And each time I have to pretend to be supportive and enthusiastic for him.

Do you think your DH will stick to it?

MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 12:41:44

ROFL! Yes he bought a smoothie machine (despite me telling him he could make smoothies in the Magimix) and for a while he was replacing meals with smoothies and declaring it the best thing ever, I of course was being a "know it all" again as I said that I didn't think this was a great idea and fruit although good for you was high in natural sugars/carbohydrate. He ignored me for a while and covered the sink in dried on flecks of fruit (he did wash the smoothie machine so I should be grateful for small mercies) until his trainer told him more or less word for word what I had said, he listened then! Grrrr!

I think my DH will stick at it for the 8 weeks, he is that type of guy, it will be all or nothing. LOL at your DH and rock hard abs, I've had that already from my DH but mostly it's the arms that get talked about and paraded.

Don't get me wrong I do want DH to lose weight and get healthy I just don't want a bodybuilder in the house, they are self obsessed pains in the butt.

suezee Wed 11-Jul-07 12:48:13

lol u'll have a cupboard full of fake tan next....he'll be competing

MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 12:56:13

Nooooo! I don't know if he's winding me up but he has said he will have his bodyhair waxed and use that paint on tan stuff (the stuff that washes off), get a few photos taken at the end of the 8 weeks.

herbiemom Wed 11-Jul-07 14:12:10

Oh God - they're so sad aren't they? 'Mid-life crisis' anybody?

I'm now awaiting the next 'announcement' as it's been a while since the last regime and we've just got back from holiday so DP's moaning about his lovehandles.

JoshandJamie Wed 11-Jul-07 15:06:46

Your rant made me smile.

Men - they can never do things in half measures. My DH decided a while back to run a marathon to get fit. Then he did another and then another. Then, just like that, it all stopped. He has not done one bit of exercise since. That was 4 years ago.

I'm just waiting for the NBT (the Next Big Thing) he turns 40 this year so no doubt it'll be coming soon.

MadMumsy Wed 11-Jul-07 15:18:21

Brilliant - the best laugh I have had for ages!!! Make the most of it - I go to the gym and my husbands idea of exercise is from car door to front door and back if he has too!!!

Wish he would encourage me to attend the gym more and come along with me.

As for the personal trainer - is it a he or she??? Just a thought!!!!

bananabump Wed 11-Jul-07 15:19:30

Sounds like my brother. He decided after ten or so years of no excercise, that he was going running. So first he bought himself a load of rnning clothes (they need their costume first before they can become a superhero) then with no warmup, he sprints away into the countryside for about three miles.

Then "surprisingly" his legs almost gave way and he was shaking and in a right state, had to wobble his way home and felt like death for days afterwards. Then he declared "it's my age" and acted like a bit of an invalid for a while (he's 35)

No, it's not your age, it's cos you're stoopid!

I think most men go through a mid life crisis or two. My dp has decided that he NEEDS to buy a motorbike (I'm due in 3 weeks)


bozza Wed 11-Jul-07 15:20:29

Oh that would drive me mad mrsS. Makes DH seem quite reasonable.

MadMumsy Wed 11-Jul-07 15:21:27

What are they like????????????

MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 16:34:35

LOL, TBH I though my DH had been through is midlife crisis when he took up the guitar again a couple of years ago, looks like the crisis may not have been over afterall and is continuing. He is 35.

The personal trainer is female although I don't think there is anything dodgy going on there.

MrsSpoon Wed 11-Jul-07 16:35:40

ROFL at your brother, bananabump and the motorbike, my DH has done much talking about how great it would be to either own a Harley or a vintage car that he would supposidly work on.

bozza Thu 12-Jul-07 09:28:52

Ah MrsS DH talks the talk about a harley or project car. I am hoping that it just stays talk. He has recently bought a kit radio controlled monster truck. I see the mid life crisis signs but am hoping we keep things to this level.

Leati Thu 12-Jul-07 09:41:26

I am sorry but this is so funny. Men are just like this and it will drive you bonkers. Anyway...good luck

GreebosWhiskers Thu 12-Jul-07 09:53:09

MrsSpoon they're all the same. My DH has been trying to get seriously back into his running off & on for the last few years. He gets up at 5:30 to run before work (setting the alarm & waking me up) then spends all day at work & is so knackered at night he can hardly manage a conversation

He did run his first race in 10 years in May (the Dunfermline 5k) & came in 6th although wasn't too chuffed with his time. He thought that this was finally the start of his comeback but since then he's had a stinking cold & is now injured so he's totally depressed & just about impossible to live with.

Judy1234 Thu 12-Jul-07 10:51:18

I'm afraid it made me laugh too. In stead of eating massive quantities of body builder foods he needs to eat much less and only eat normal healthy foods.

herbiemom Thu 12-Jul-07 10:57:15

It's the way it all has to be soooo dramatic that makes me laugh - the big announcements, the flexing of the muscles, prodding of the abs, the way he leaps out of bed and prances round the room doing boxing jabs,etc while I'm supposed to look on in admiration. Yes dear - you're looking toned, fit and utterly gorgeous - shame about the bald patch...

MrsSpoon Thu 12-Jul-07 11:01:13

ROFL @ Herbiemum, my DH hasn't got a bald patch but I totally get that scenario!

Xenia for once I am completely agreeing with you, I've said to him "eat less, move more, it's not rocket science".

MrsSpoon Thu 12-Jul-07 11:21:28

Sorry DH came in when I was posting.

Greebo, well done to your DH, although the getting up at 5.30am is a bit much.

Apparently my DH's trainer has told him to tell me I should be more supportive. I just about blew my top when I heard this.

He has just come home with a blood pressure monitor and is now panicing because it is reading high. Maybe he'll start to do some cardio and cut back on the meat now.

GreebosWhiskers Thu 12-Jul-07 11:55:22

LOL MrsSpoon - he'll probably go into a complete panic & stop everything now.

BTW am I right in thinking that you're local to me? Would you be interested in a local meet-up? I've put a post on the meet-ups forum but no-one's replied 'cos no-one likes me boo-hoo

MrsSpoon Thu 12-Jul-07 13:00:41

LOL, yes he has done that before, when we were both going to the classes he started to have problems with one of his knees (you know that 'old sporting injury') and one Doc told him to stop exercising until a scan had been taken of his knee, I was dubious about this advice and expressed my concern at the time. Of course it was the NHS so months and months later he finally got the scan on his knee, they found nothing significant and told him he should never have stopped the exercise.

After much messing about with the blood pressure monitor it turns out that his blood pressure is high on his right arm and low on his left arm! Is this even possible?

Greeboswhiskers, we do live very near to each other. I hope you don't find this odd but I am shying away from meet-ups these days, I have met up with people before but have since decided it's better if you all just live in my head (no disrespect to anyone I have met up with). I am sure you are lovely, you always come over as very nice in your posts, the Scottish meet-ups always seem to be a struggle to get off the ground so I wouldn't take it personally.

GreebosWhiskers Thu 12-Jul-07 13:25:00

PMSL - I suspect he'd be better off leaving the blood pressure monitoring to his GP.

Don't worry about the meet-up thing - I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. I might just try organising a local stitch n bitch group instead

MrsSpoon Thu 12-Jul-07 14:29:03

You might get Pruni interested in that, IIRC she is a knitter and I think she still lives fairly local.

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