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Boyfriend can't meet me again!! What shall I reply?

(54 Posts)
Tinkerbellone Mon 25-Mar-19 13:33:01

Not seen BF since Friday morning. Arranged to meet Friday eve and he cancelled feeling unwell.

Arranged to meet today. I had a big meeting this morning which he knows I'm anxious about.
I text that the meeting was over and it had been very long.

He replied - that he'd only found out that morning he had to take his son across the country somewhere and he would try to message me later.

He never asked about my meeting, although he has been supportive. I know family come first. But things like this are always happening.
Then he tells me he loves me and cannot imagine life without me etc. But his actions say otherwise.

How should I respond to this message? I'm really disappointed he's cancelled twice now but understand his children are a priority.

Should I ignore? I'm really anxious today and don't want to over react. But don't want to come across as sulky. What would you reply??

Verynice Mon 25-Mar-19 13:35:50

He was probably texting in a hurry. When he calls later, you can talk to him about the meeting. How long are you dating?

TheInvestigator Mon 25-Mar-19 13:36:31

It's only Monday. Friday really wasn't that long ago and he has kids.

If you don't want to be in a relationship where someone has kids and things come up at the last minute then don't be in the relationship. If you stay in it, then you're just going to have to get on board.

Lifeisabeach09 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:36:46

Don't reply until later when you are feeling less anxious and disappointed with him.
Meet a friend for a drink to unwind.

Are you sure you are compatible with this man?

Waveysnail Mon 25-Mar-19 13:36:54

Sounds like a man with a son isn't for you.

WeeMadArthur Mon 25-Mar-19 13:37:17

Short and sweet otherwise you risk sounding annoyed. ‘Ok, speak to you later’ works. You need to consider if you are going to be happy with someone always putting their children first, because he always should do that.

Nicknacky Mon 25-Mar-19 13:37:40

If there are no other examples of thoughtless then I would reply saying you hope he’s ok and you will speak soon.

He’s obviously busy dealing with his child and whatever it is that has came up.

FriarTuck Mon 25-Mar-19 13:39:18

He was probably texting in a hurry. When he calls later, you can talk to him about the meeting.
This ^^. Just text back 'travel safe, talk later' or something.

kaytee87 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:40:53

If he is having to take his son across country at last minute I'd be asking if everything is ok.

Lamplight5 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:41:26

Sounds like he's messing you about and your instincts are alerting you to him being not 100% truthful.

Text him back 'it sounds like you've got too much on to be in a relationship at the moment. Take care.' And find yourself someone who will actually honour their commitments. No one finds out last minute that they've forgotten they have to drive across the country.

Verynice Mon 25-Mar-19 13:42:04

If you don't have children, it may be time for you to think long and hard about whether you are prepared to date a man with children. Children are a massive commitment (for him), so he obviously can't give you his undivided attention like a single man could.

Nicknacky Mon 25-Mar-19 13:42:15

lamp How can you advise that based on one weekend?

Noonooyou Mon 25-Mar-19 13:44:14

Need some more context, how long have you been together? Is it a new relationship? I'm sure he'll call later

BlueMerchant Mon 25-Mar-19 13:44:59

I'd take a step back. Concentrate on yourself. Be proud of yourself for getting through your meeting and do something for you.
Don't wait around for him to contact you or plan your next 'move'. If he is worth it he will contact you.

Myheartbelongsto Mon 25-Mar-19 13:45:05

Hosestly, some of the replies are ridiculous. No wonder men think we're batshit sometimes.

He's probably just busy!

Tinkerbellone Mon 25-Mar-19 13:45:41

I know I'm really anxious and wound up after my meeting. So don't want to over react. I also have children. His son is an adult; doesn't drive.
Thank you for the advice. xx

Nicknacky Mon 25-Mar-19 13:46:34

How long have you been together?

Lamplight5 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:48:34

Nicknacky it's not just one weekend, OP says but things like this are always happening. And two cancellations in one weekend? How do you forget that you're driving across the country until the actual time you're doing it? Wouldn't his child have been speaking about whatever it is he's doing in another part of the country today at some point over the weekend and reminded him?

How long have you been with him, OP? Have you met his child?

FriarTuck Mon 25-Mar-19 13:49:31

Text him back 'it sounds like you've got too much on to be in a relationship at the moment. Take care.' And find yourself someone who will actually honour their commitments. No one finds out last minute that they've forgotten they have to drive across the country.
I'm sorry? Being ill and then putting your son first at short notice is a reason to jack in a relationship? I thought it was being human and being a parent. confused

theWarOnPeace Mon 25-Mar-19 13:50:29

I’m the same vein, he could have mentioned his son/last minute problem meaning that he’d have to speak to you later about your issue, and assumed that you would ‘get’ that his emergency overrrodes your meeting, and that his son is his absolute priority. I had a one that got away boyfriend years back, who had kids. I loved him for how much he loved his kids, and yet still resented the amount of time and energy he gave them. I wasn’t mature enough and didn’t have kids at that point, so didn’t fully understand that the way he treated me was right (he was lovely), and the way he treated his kids was right too. Essentially, his kids came first, which I totally understood but then also felt constantly second best. He was perfect in every other way, really we could have gone on to have a successful relationship, I believe, but we were incompatible with where we were in our lives. If you need reassurance, and he always puts his child first, it may be a case of being a great man at the wrong time, unfortunately. Think about it from his perspective, then talk to him about it. If you still think he could have talked to you properly about your meeting, which was over, whilst driving his child for whatever this emergency reason was, then confront him about it. How long Harv you been together?

baileys6904 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:50:42

Shes, I do wonder about some of the posters that have replied...needy, much.

OP sounds like hes busy and could well have forgotten. My OH is absolute shite at remembering stuff cos he has to remember a gazillion other things at the time and he just can't bloody multitask lol. Droves me crazy sometimes and hes always mad apologetic when he does forget something. Does he love me madly, is great with my child, fantastic with my friends and family, worship the ground I walk on? Yes. Remember things important to me, sometimes not. Drives me batty but worth the imperfection

Lamplight5 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:50:56

His son is an adult; doesn't drive. Apologies, I assumed he was a child.

TheInvestigator Mon 25-Mar-19 13:52:22


He only found out in the morning. So someone else was probably doing it and then couldn't so, as the father of the child, he stepped in to do it.

Nicknacky Mon 25-Mar-19 13:52:34

lamplight He was ill!!

theWarOnPeace Mon 25-Mar-19 13:54:07

Cross posted with OP plus loads of spelling mistakes 🤦‍♀️ So the son is an adult.... maybe makes a tiny bit of difference to the context. But you’ve both got kids and Friday to Monday isn’t that long at all.

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