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DD in isolation for wearing the wrong socks

(220 Posts)
swirlycurly Sun 24-Mar-19 22:12:41

DD who's in year 7 is being put in the isolation room at school tomorrow for wearing the incorrect colour socks, white instead of black. She did do this two days in a row after being warned so I do think she should accept the punishment as she was warned. But AIBU to think this is a silly rule anyway? They seem to claim that having school uniform is setting them up for life and work yet what workplace is going to tell someone to work away from everyone facing a wall for the day because they wore the wrong colour socks? So why do schools feel the need to be so strict?

ThisThatAndTother Mon 25-Mar-19 13:09:52

Ffs, yanbu, these petty rules are fucking ridiculous!

BlueSky123456 Mon 25-Mar-19 13:16:01

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnemoneAnenome Mon 25-Mar-19 13:17:12

What does it matter if they do or they don't Bluesky? Doesn't it depend on how hot it is in the classroom?

I'm no anarchist, I'm a committed jumper-through of hoops. But blanket school rules should not deny children basic bodily autonomy. I would much rather teach a class of 30 children who could take a layer off in a heatwave, have a drink between breakfast and lunch if they are thirsty, take a loo break if they need to. No one is at their best if these basic things are denied to them.

Ellisandra Mon 25-Mar-19 13:51:42

I don’t think white or black socks is relevant to how children learn academic subjects.

But it is a good opportunity to learn your weaknesses in following rules, and developing strategies.

It’s pathetic to just shrug and say she’s forgetful.

She could put a uniform list up in her room.
Always keep a spare black pair in her bag.
Set a daily phone reminder.

Many strategies!

As for not being made to work alone at work? I’ve been a manager in warehouse environments where agency staff are sent home (unpaid) if they’ve forgotten certain items - yellow vest, for example.

It doesn’t hurt her to follow this rule, and you’re not doing her any favours by arguing against it or excusing her as being “forgetful”.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Mon 25-Mar-19 13:55:51

and why does looking smart matter one jot? It's hard to look smart, or (more importantly) concentrate and work hard if you're boiling or freezing.

Acis Mon 25-Mar-19 14:07:51

Why can't they look smart without blazers, BlueSky? People in professional offices manage it all the time.

QuestionableMouse Mon 25-Mar-19 14:18:28

High Viz has a function though whereas socks are still socks if they're a different colour.

Ellisandra Mon 25-Mar-19 14:20:50

Like I said, it’s an opportunity for developing strategies - so when it does matter (like high vis) the OP’s child has long since identified that she’s (a) crap at leaving home with what she needs and (b) able to mitigate that cheapness with a post-it note, or whatever.

pepinana Mon 25-Mar-19 14:38:26

Who gives a fuck about looking smart anyway? My boss rocks up to work in a full suit and heels and is utterly incompetent. Our COO wears dungarees and converse and basically runs the entire organisation single handed.

icannotremember Mon 25-Mar-19 14:40:39

It's a stupid rule and a stupid, over the top punishment. They're fucking socks. What sort of petty minded wanker cares that much about the colour of a child's socks? How sad.

WhoKnewBeefStew Mon 25-Mar-19 14:42:17

Might be a stupid rule, but it’s a duke all the same. Your dd chose to ignore the rule and is now having to deal with the consequences. Life I’m afraid

Brilliantidiot Mon 25-Mar-19 14:54:31

With something like socks or general day to day attire, I think the rules are fair enough - we may see them as silly and petty but then a lot of rules in adult life are. I think isolation as a punishment for things like this is overkill. When I was at school it was reserved for major rule breaking like swearing, fighting and repeated minor things that other punishment hadn't dealt with effectively.
Isolation has kind of lost it's exclusivity, for us it wasn't so much what you did, it was the fact that everyone knew you'd done something heavy duty to end up in isolation, that was the biggest part of getting sent there. I went once, and only once, because I swore, and although I didn't swear at a teacher, it was a slip of the tongue really in the company of a teacher, I didn't do it again because of the stigma attached! Not sure I'd have been so horrified if I was in there every 5 minutes for things that could be dealt with by detention, litter picking or lines/extra homework. Like this could have been.
But when it comes down to people - and yes children are people - being forced to be too hot or too cold at the whim of someone else, I disagree. That's not about being in uniform, the shirt and ties or jumper under a blazer are uniform standard (or should be, if not then I can see the reason for refusing) so even after removing a blazer, the child is still in uniform. It's about power.
I think asking is a matter of respect, yes, ask the teacher if you can remove it, but it should be a given that if you are too hot, you can remove a layer. A lot of people here are saying that the child in the OP needs to learn to be more self sufficient and not to forget, totally agree, but how can that go hand in hand with not being allowed to do something about being too hot? It's ridiculous to think that one person can decide for a room of 30 others their temperature. And don't forget all these children come from different home environments too, for example my friend finds my home too warm, I find hers too cold. We adjust our clothing accordingly. It's common sense. Which seems to be lacking where jumpers and blazers are concerned.
You've also got the effect of rioting hormones on at least girls - I sweat from nowhere at certain times of the month and will be down to my shirt while others are cold. I'd be really uncomfortable and have poor concentration if I were forced to keep my jacket on in that situation. And no, no one will likely come to any real harm from being uncomfortable, but why do we want them to be? What's the point in doing something to make others uncomfortable just because you can? In an environment where concentration is paramount, why wouldn't you do everything possible to ensure that happens rather than forcing people to remain in clothing that has no purpose other than appearance? Surely a class full of white shirts and ties with heads down learning is preferable to a class of jumpers and blazers with sweating and red faced pupils fanning themselves with what they should be reading!

Brilliantidiot Mon 25-Mar-19 14:59:34

And again, if conformity to uniform rules is so important, and preparing children for the world of work, why are staff and teachers not required to wear a uniform? Surely it'd be far easier to maintain a 'uniform' appearance if everyone were wearing the same thing?

sailorsdelight Mon 25-Mar-19 15:01:03

It’s teaching her that sometimes you just have to fecking do as you’re told! She ignored the warning therefore sucks up the punishment. I work in a profession where we can wear what ever we like within reason but we have rules around other stuff that we generally adhere to. And if you don’t there a consequences. Your DD needs to learn to choose her battles...

WeepingWillowWeepingWino Mon 25-Mar-19 15:01:22

oh, you're not allowed to say that, Brilliant. Definitely not. No. No questioning why a teacher gets to wear a summer frock and sandals whilst the children swelter in uniform. It'll cause civilization to collapse, that kind of thing.

MumUnderTheMoon Mon 25-Mar-19 15:05:43

Most rules about any uniform are arbitrary. They just have to be followed. You agree she should be punished so why moan about it. Also maybe you should check that she sets out the right socks the night before for a while?

Jinglejanglefish Mon 25-Mar-19 15:11:09

we may see them as silly and petty but then a lot of rules in adult life are

Like what? I can't think of any that I follow.

Helix1244 Mon 25-Mar-19 15:24:45

Completely wrong to tell people how many layers to wear. Naturally some will be down to t-shirt others in a coat. We have different metabolisms.
Also I suspect some sen dc keep on clothing and overheat but dont then drink so getting dehydrated.
A jumper /shirt is exactly as smart and it is all uniform you dont need it all on!
It was 30 deg in our housw for months last year.
When choosing jobs cold people may not pick outside ones, hot may not pick to wear loads of layers.
Also sometimes kids will feel ill have slight fever etc, which may be relieved when taking layers off.
There are lots of people on her, most would not want to wear a blazer to work in.

SleepingStandingUp Mon 25-Mar-19 16:22:44

BlueSky123456 someone has already said it happens only a few times a year in their school, so looks like it has to be boiling out before they're permitted. That's utterly ridiculous. If the school uniform was short sleeved shirts and no jacket in the middle of winter, would it still be OK? If your child was freezing at scho but tough because the teacher has decided it's not cold enough?

There's a difference imo in a standard uniform to instill whatever and deliberately choosing to leave children over heated and uncomfortable to prove a point

echt Mon 25-Mar-19 19:09:54

And again, if conformity to uniform rules is so important, and preparing children for the world of work, why are staff and teachers not required to wear a uniform?

I suspect that in state schools, staff cannot be told what to wear.

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