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To want to eat food I enjoy when we go out for a meal?

(187 Posts)
FoodieLexie Sun 24-Mar-19 15:34:36

A bit first-world problem here, but I'll plough on anyway.

My DH and I have very different tastes in food. I like veg-based dishes, with lots of herbs and spices and contrasting tastes. DH likes comfort food - think bangers & mash, shepherd's pie. I don't mind comfort food, but it would never be my first choice IYSWIM.

But as DH doesn't like any spicy food, or anything remotely "foreign", if we go out for a meal we always go to places that serve the food he prefers. We've done this for 20 years now.

AIBU to think that, just sometimes (my birthday, Mother's Day etc) we could go to a restaurant that serves the type of food I enjoy?

What's really annoying is that as far as I know, DH has never even tried anything different, so how does he know he doesn't like it?

I know I could go to "my" type of restaurant with a friend, but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going out together.

user1473878824 Sun 24-Mar-19 15:36:37

You don’t even get to pick a restaurant on your birthday?!?! Is he as selfish the rest of the time?

00100001 Sun 24-Mar-19 15:37:30

Just stand firm and insist. It just go with your family or friends and leave theardy arse behind

There will always be Chips and bread for the miserable git if he dies go along

FormerlyFrikadela01 Sun 24-Mar-19 15:38:20

Obviously yanbu but you've kind of answered it for yourself, you'll eat his type but he wont eat yours so if you did go for a curry for example what would he eat?

My sister has the same problem, her partner won't try anything new, she always comes out with us instead.

EmrysAtticus Sun 24-Mar-19 15:38:21

I would introduce an alternating system and on your birthday it is always your choice and on his it is always his. Nice and fair then smile

bigbluebus Sun 24-Mar-19 15:38:37

Most Indian restaurants have something English on the menu. Why can't you go for a curry and let him choose something English and bland!

EmrysAtticus Sun 24-Mar-19 15:39:02

Most Indian restaurants do chicken and chips etc under an 'English' section on the menu.

altiara Sun 24-Mar-19 15:39:12

Definitely pick the restaurant when it’s your celebration!! Organise it yourself to make sure and talk about how excited you are to do something different and not boring.

EmrysAtticus Sun 24-Mar-19 15:39:13

X post

KateMadikane Sun 24-Mar-19 15:39:44

Yanbu !
My dp can be pretty fussy and has some allergies but does at least like curry so that’s most likely. Luckily I can afford to eat out with others occasionally (and go and see films that are not to his taste).

Stayawayfromitsmouth Sun 24-Mar-19 15:39:53

Just go out for an curry love. Ditch the boring old stick in the mud.

Babyornotbaby Sun 24-Mar-19 15:40:43

Go somewhere that is a buffet selection, like a Cosmos type place?

PineapplePatty Sun 24-Mar-19 15:42:10

Can't you find a restaurant serving both? Most around here have very extensive menus.

AnemoneAnenome Sun 24-Mar-19 15:47:46

That's incredibly selfish of him. He will be able to find something on the menu he can tolerate occasionally, either chips as PPs have said or try a korma or dry curry.

My DH had a very restricted diet but he has really worked on it for my sake. He's never got to tolerate Thai food but he will eat some things like shashlik and naan bread on an indian menu. Also there are quite a lot of pubs that do some sort of veggie curry along with burgers & steaks etc.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit Sun 24-Mar-19 15:50:14

Bloody hell, I can't believe you have put up with that for 20 years.
He's just going to have to try something new or have something from the bland of the day menu, selfish sod.

Deadringer Sun 24-Mar-19 15:51:10


Preggosaurus9 Sun 24-Mar-19 15:51:11

So inform him his 20 years of controlling the restaurant choices are up and now begins your 20 years.

Happy anniversary darling!

diddl Sun 24-Mar-19 15:53:08

But surely he doesn't eat bangers & mash/shepherd's pie for a meal out?

Isn't the point to go for something that you wouldn't have at home?

EdWinchester Sun 24-Mar-19 15:53:46

What a big baby. And so boring!

You choose for the next 20 years.

diddl Sun 24-Mar-19 15:53:56

Of course yanbu to want to choose where to go for your meal out!

HollowTalk Sun 24-Mar-19 15:54:23

He can have steak or chicken and chips at Indian or Chinese restaurants. I wouldn't be going out for a meal if it meant having sausage and mash!

Orangecake123 Sun 24-Mar-19 15:54:50

I'm surprised you haven't taken it in turns. Of course you should also get to decide where you want to go on Mother's day.

cuppycakey Sun 24-Mar-19 15:56:06

A lot of restaurants that do the comfort food also do curry, Thai etc surely?

However, YANBU. If he doesn't want to come you will have to take a friend instead - he does sound very selfish. Is he like this in other ways?

Mmmmbrekkie Sun 24-Mar-19 15:58:35

*we like to spend what we have on going out together.*

Baffled. Because he doesn’t seem bothered whether you’re enjoying yourself or not.

Ninkaninus Sun 24-Mar-19 16:00:09

Wow he’s selfish, entitled and self-absorbed, isn’t he!

I can’t believe you’ve gone along with this for 20 years, and no of course YANBU to want to actually have something you enjoy on your special days.

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