Suitable chores?

[Harryy]

What chores do you get your children to do? I've got 2 girls age 12 and 8 and a 5 year old boy.

My 12 year old is forever moaning as her friends don't have chores or am I making them do to much?

12 year old

• changes her own bed/makes
• washes up
• cleans downstairs toilet and shower
• helps bring shopping in and put away
• hoovers her bedroom and the landing
• hangs washing up
• tidy bedroom

8 year old

• changes her own bed/makes bed
• takes rubbish out
• cleans table
• takes washing downstairs
• tidy bedroom

5 year old

• lays the table
• puts toys away
• helps pairs up socks

[Harryy]

Thank you for moving it!

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

I wouldn't ask my 12 year old to clean the toilet but the rest sounds reasonable

[MotherOfTheNoise]

I think all of it sounds fine and is similar to what we do with ours. I was cleaning the whole bathroom from the time I went to secondary school so I think it's fair!

[thecatsthecats]

Having seen the state my parents' house has got into without me and my sister there to clean, I'd say she's getting off lightly!

The only thing to keep an eye on is that the balance stays fair as she gets older, particularly around her exams, when the younger ones have less pressure on them.

I'd be adding cooking for the family one meal a week from the age of 14 - just something simple.

[Bigonesmallone3]

I agree with the toilet cleaning being a little harsh

[Limensoda]

If you are 12 and use a toilet, can clean things generally then yes, you can clean a toilet.
Makes sure you get your ds to do it when he is 12 too though. I made the stupid mistake of not expecting my son to do that ever and realised my errors when aged 17 he argued with my daughter that she should do it because she would have to when she was married because women clean toilets! Bloody ashamed of myself!
If more boys were expected to clean toilets perhaps more men would be careful where they aim and and what sort of mess they leave behind.

[Kelsoooo]

Seems right to me.
My 6+9 (nearly 7) have the following chores (split onto random days)

Strip their beds, then remake their beds with fresh bedding once a week
Make their beds and tidy their room every day
Pack their school bags Inc. P.E

Vacuum upstairs (excluding our room and the au pairs)
Vacuum downstairs
Polish downstairs
Lay the table
Clear the table (they eat separate times, so I sit and chat to them, bit we eat after theyve been to bed)
Clean their playroom every Sunday, properly (bins emptied, vacuumed and polished)
Empty their bedroom bin.

Ive just taught the 9year old how to make a coffee/tea and supervise her making mine when I get home from work.

They can both make toast/get cereal.

They're both expected to take turns with making the Sunday dinner
And the 9 year old "prepares" their tea some nights (I supervise and direct her with boiling pasta etc)

[Harryy]

I'm a single dad not that it should make a difference to cleaning! Why do you think it's harsh for her to clean a toilet and shower? We have 3 bathrooms in the house and she only does one (the smallest one)

[Exhaustedmummy1811]

My 12 year old cleans the toilet but only because I was sick of him weeing on the seat lol since he now cleans it he rarely wees on the seat. I think those jobs seem fair, my 12 and 9 year old have chores and don't get any computer time or phone credit if they aren't done. My 4 and 3 year old take their own plates away and put their toys back in boxes

[SummerInSun]

I'm amazed that you all bother with bed making. I change the sheets once a week, but in between, we just get in and out. Maybe because we all sleep under duvets so there is no tucking in and we just snuggle them into the position we want when we get into bed?

[FudgeBrownie2019]

The 13 year old strips and remakes his bed, plus makes it every morning, puts clothes away when they're ironed. I've taught him to iron, and he'll have a go at school shirts most weeks when I'm ironing.

He makes supper once a week, walks the dogs, cleans out the rabbits and will empty and sort laundry if I ask him to. He does stuff like clearing/setting the table at mealtimes, and will stack the dishwasher. He's not great at remembering chores but a little "give me a hand here mate" nudge sorts him out.

The 8 year old is pretty helpful and makes his own bed each day, keeps his room pretty tidy and will also do laundry/strip beds etc.

We don't have set chores for set people, it's just everyone chipping in, and I expect them to tell me if their bathroom runs low on toothpaste and toiletries. I don't think either of them has ever cleaned a toilet, though, and probably wouldn't ask them to just yet (although thinking about it they could). They both help around the garden when I'm out pottering and the youngest has his own veg patch that he's devoted to.

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

DD is 9 and has no set chores. I might ask her to lay the table or help with the laundry. I'm not fussed about a lot of this stuff.

[PlainSpeakingStraightTalking]

Why do you think it's harsh for her to clean a toilet and shower? We have 3 bathrooms in the house and she only does one (the smallest one)

Everyone cleans behind themselves in this house - and the adult cleans behind the little ones. I dont think siblings should be clearing other sibling literal shit up.

[Zoeputthatdown]

Sounds all right to me.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

I think you are asking a lot of your 12 year old. Does she hang the whole families washing out? That's a lot for her to do. I also wouldn't ask her to clean the toilet.

I also don't think the 8 year old should be putting rubbish out. To me that's an adult job.

[SkinnyPete]

My DD8 has a list of set chores each week. She's with me (single dad) 4-5 days/nights a week.

She gets paid an allowance of £5/week, and can earn up to an extra £3 if she does.

• Recycling into blue bin/empty kitchen bin to black bin
• Set the dinner table
• Make her own breakfast
• Make her own dinner (assisted)
• Laundry (collect/split/load/hang)
• Load/empty the dishwasher
• Tidy her room/lounge and play room
• Run her own bath and bathe
• Help with weekly shop

She gets her money loaded onto a GoHenry card (Visa prepay), and she can tick her own chores off on her ipad, which gets paid every Monday.

She has some unpaid chores too that are just expected, like making her bed, clothes in the right place, general tidiness. I'll be honest, I'm forever policing, but it does mean she sees the value in it all.

As she gets older, I plan to move some of the chores to unpaid, and replace with more age appropriate stuff. The aim is for a lot of these things to become routine and she's eager to help where possible... That's the theory anyway 😀

[WeepingWillowWeepingWino]

she's 8??? JFC. She has to make her own dinner? What, and you make yours, separately?

[Limensoda]

I also don't think the 8 year old should be putting rubbish out. To me that's an adult job

Why? Just why?!

[SkinnyPete]

WeepingWillowWeepingWino assisted, and only once per week to tick the chore off.

Anything that involves hot stuff being lifted or poured gets done by me. The rest her.

She can do pasta and pesto, beans/spaghetti tin on toast, pot noodle, sandwich, cheese on toast. I sometimes eat the same thing as her, sometimes ill prepare myself something separately. As I said, it's only once a week and she enjoys doing it.

[Harryy]

Sorry she doesn't hang all the washing up just the small things like socks, underwear ect or she will pass me the clothes

[BlackeyedGruesome]

DD (12)

Brings washing down, puts clean washing away, cleans her own room. Takes out recycling.

Ds takes his pots away. Gets his own drinks. He is younger, autistic and we are working on other skills. His room is not finished but when it is he will be expected to clean too.

[AnemoneAnenome]

How often does your 12 year old do these things?

I think cleaning a whole bathroom as well as vacuuming and washing up and some laundry does sound like a lot for a 12 year old. But it depends on how much of it there is. There's a world of difference between washing up every day and doing it once a week.

My 12 year old does substantially less. We have a dishwasher rota - she does it it twice a week - and occasional vacuuming. She will fold a load of washing if asked, probably one a week or a bit less. She is also meant to keep her room tidy in exchange for pocket money, but this doesn't tend to happen so she rarely gets pocket money. I feel we need to shake this up somehow.

[BlackeyedGruesome]

Those jobs I was doing from young are not a chore, those I have had to take on as an adult are more irksome. Getting used to running a house is part of raising responsible adults.

[Mesoavocado]

My DS who is 6 does

• cutlery away out of dishwasher
• set table
• feed the cat
• tidy his room
• suitable clothes into tumble drier after reading the labels
• puts away his own clothes once washed and dry

[Harryy]

• Bedding get washed twice a week
• bathroom every other day
• washing up every evening
• hoovering her room is once a week