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Toddler reins and evil looks?

(286 Posts)
SinkGirl Sun 24-Mar-19 12:51:02

Took twins to the park this morning with DH. They both wore backpacks with reins attached. Both boys have ASD, one also has a visual impairment and other issues. They are both fascinated by moving cars and will suddenly run for the road, they have no danger awareness. They also both tried to throw themselves into the lake a few times so the reins really came in handy! I have a back problem and other issues so it means I can stop them getting hurt without too much chasing / bending.

I had so many horrible looks from other parents (and especially dog walkers actually) - is it really so awful to use them? It keeps them safe so for me it’s a no brainier but I’m surprised by how much it seems to offend people.

SnuggyBuggy Sun 24-Mar-19 12:52:38

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one. If it works for you do it, remember the judgy people aren't going to help you look after your twins.

ChrisPrattsFace Sun 24-Mar-19 12:54:18

The other day I showed my American friend those little backpacks with reins on, that I planned to get and she was mortified that kids are on reins!
Now, I have no objection to them, also have back problems so leaning over a lot with my nephews I found so difficult. I also know that me, DH, most of our friends and family were brought up on reins... and were all functioning humans.

That being said I’m only 16 weeks with my first so who knows what I’ll learn about parenting once baby arrives!

user1480880826 Sun 24-Mar-19 12:54:22

Reins are brilliant. We use them in crowded and dangerous places to stop our daughter from hurting herself. They’re particularly useful in places like stations and airports and when walking along busy roads.

People who give you dirty looks must have sensible children who understand danger far better than the rest of us. Lucky them.

Lana1234 Sun 24-Mar-19 12:55:04

Really!? That’s so strange that people get offended by them, they are quite obviously for safety. I was just thinking of getting some for my 18m DS cos he loves walking about outside now. Just carry on and ignore them, long as your kids are safe 🤷‍♀️

Sirzy Sun 24-Mar-19 12:55:08

If people want to look let them!

I do wonder if sometimes as parents we read too much into things like looks and can be guilty of seeing something that isn’t there

youknowmedontyou Sun 24-Mar-19 12:55:08

IMO it's really awful NOT to use them, they keep your twins safe, so everyone else can mind their own business.

FiveLittlePigs Sun 24-Mar-19 12:55:55

Better a dirty look than an injured child. Children are impulsive creatures!

isseywithcats Sun 24-Mar-19 12:56:20

If i had been in the park i would have thought what a clever mom, twins are hard work enough you need eyes in the back of your head , my oldest son totally refused to use reigns he sat down and wouldnt move so i admire you getting two children to use them take no notice of the judgy pants people you know your children better than they do,

EssentialHummus Sun 24-Mar-19 12:56:24

Don't give it another thought!

hellallit Sun 24-Mar-19 12:57:06

I use reins on my 3.5 year old. She won't hold my hand so it's my only option. Couldn't care less what people think - she's safe and I can get where I need without tantrums or running off.

Littlemissdaredevil Sun 24-Mar-19 12:57:40

I’ve got some for my toddler. She prefers to walk rather than use the buggy but at 15 month has no sense of danger and she won’t hold my hand if she doesn’t want to. So it’s either use reins or have a screaming toddler in a pushchair!

These are the same people who would be tutting if you used a pushchair so you

GerryblewuptheER Sun 24-Mar-19 12:57:50

Reins are brilliant. Keeps whilst allowing them to not have to be shoved in a buggy the entire time til they can follow an instruction.

You get just as many evil looks when your kid runs off or wont come back dont worry

Angelicinnocent Sun 24-Mar-19 12:57:59

Didn't like them personally but wouldn't judge. In fact, with twins I would think its probably the only way to keep them safe.

Sicario Sun 24-Mar-19 12:58:13

I never used them because my kids didn't run off (I was bloody lucky on that one).

You go ahead and use whatever works for you, and other people can piss right off. You're doing a great job.

Tubbyinthehottub Sun 24-Mar-19 12:58:58

Maybe they have bad memories of wearing them. I know I do, I wanted to run free! I think I only wore them once and absolutely hated it but whatever works for you smile

longnight Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:04

I've had this had 4 2 of which had undiagnosed sn at the time, that needed some kind of harness and I found the backpacks the best. I've had Judgy looks and comments I tended to just smile and say well the things we do to keep them safe. Dd3 is nearly 2 and currently still in the buggy. I have her backpack reins ready for when she's ready to start walking out. My stance is if it keeps them safe and makes walking more enjoyable for us then stuff what everyone thinks. But I'm the person who throws my 3 year old over my shoulder and walks down the street when he's having a tantrum. I haven't ever had twins but I'm positive if I had then even if they weren't bolters I'd have used reins as there's no way I could go in 2 different directions if they decided that's what they wanted to do.

endofthelinefinally Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:12

Reins are much safer and more comfortable for little children than:

Having one arm vertical for ages holding adult's hand
Risking dislocated shoulder or elbow due to being pulled upright by the arm if they fall or trip
Running out under a car or bus.

There is a poster on here whose child was killed because her DH didn't put the reins on. Her story is utterly heartbreaking.

I used reins for all my children. Toddlers are unpredictable, move fast and have no road sense or impulse control. It is just common sense.

Ignore the critics.

SinkGirl Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:35

Oh phew! I was half expecting people to compare my children to pets and call me awful! Thank goodness for that.

I probably am quite sensitive to the looks to be honest - until now their difficulties haven’t really been visible to passers by, but one of my boys jumps and flaps whenever he’s excited and I noticed a few people staring today.

You’re all right, who gives a shit what others think - I can think of at least four times this morning alone that they stopped the mOre adventurous twin getting hurt so they’re worth the looks. I didn’t see another toddler on reins while we were out so maybe that makes it seem worse.

Glittertwins Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:34

Reins were very useful for our DTs, especially when one walked earlier than the other but I still needed the double buggy for when she got tired.

Februaryblooms Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:50

I have a backpack with reigns on for my DS. I couldn't care less what random people in the park think about it.

Like others have said it's a safety measure, totally necessary and effective in preventing injury and runaway toddlers!

Creamwhite Sun 24-Mar-19 12:59:51

Of course not. I have a toddler, singular, with no additional needs and sometimes use them.
I have learned that to survive parenting you need to give zero fuck about other people's opinions.

kaytee87 Sun 24-Mar-19 13:00:02

Do you live in the U.K.?

I use reins on my 2yo and no one ever gives me looks.
I have had funny looks on holiday abroad though.

NuffSaidSam Sun 24-Mar-19 13:00:18

A lot of people don't like reins, something about treating a child like a dog!

I use/used them when needed. They're great, particularly the little back pack ones. I've also found that all the children really like wearing them as well!

Just ignore the naysayers.

AnyoldAnna Sun 24-Mar-19 13:01:10

We use the backpack style reins with my DD, I just nice comments. I don’t understand people’s opinions, they are they to do a job and keep your child safe, why not use them?

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